On Pathways…past, present, future.

Perhaps time has been kind.  Often I think about this and wonder what or where I might be if roads, that I have been on had taken slight forks or curved and bent on out into the distance.  It’s not so much a shoulda, coulda, woulda; but more of a existential pondering of sorts.

My mind sometimes drifts to college days, when all my concerns consisted of getting homework assignments in on time and staying up way past my bed time to complete things long procrastinated on…as they say, those were the days…but not really.  Though friendships were bonded like gorilla glue to my fingers, I don’t recall glory days while on the campus of academia.  But I do wonder about this path, if I had trodden too softly in one placement of my feet where it may have taken me…or where I might be today should I had taken an earlier exit convening off into another destination.  As I’ve said before it’s not about regret, merely consideration…ponderings.

Which brings me to my next line of reasoning…here goes…brace yourself…ok: does God have a specific course for our lives?  My answer might surprise you…for me it would be no…that doesn’t mean faithfulness doesn’t play into it all or that I would have done anything differently.  But the God I know doesn’t work like that.  We aren’t controlled or forced to do anything, like some sort of pet on a leash…free will for us all means just that.  Our walkways, pathways, country roads and cobble stone avenues are chosen by us.  God may do some convicting, prodding, convincing and other means of conversation along the way, but these selections of ours…are just that.

Still, my path is wearing thin the treads on these running shoes, I am caked in the dust I’ve stirred up along the way…but I’m happy.  I may have a skinned knee or two, some scars to prove I’m by far not the most graceful sojourner on these travels…but I would be a fool if I have not learned a thing or two along the way.  I’ve learned that not all leaders are right, some as human as they come,  fall, make mistakes, and hurt our pride, souls and curve out pieces of our hearts…no one ever said it was going to be easy.  Still other leaders, their foot prints I follow along this path…they have loved and left impression upon who I thought I was and who I am striving to be…diamonds in the rough.  There are friends who befriend you for but a short time, perhaps with ill intentions, ambitions and selfish motivations then paths take different directions, some infect us for better or worse – all of it making us strong because of it.  While other friends, on journeys on their own come along side us, love us for who we are not who they’ve perceived us to be and better us by challenging us, sticking up for us and going to hell and back for us – these come but once or twice in a life time (I have found).   Isn’t it interesting what life brings to us from time to time?

I’m not sure where my path will lead me…but I’m content to be faithful, I’m content to keep on moving…But I won’t be content to settle, become static and/or fade away…no there are bigger fish to fry so to speak.  They say Iron sharpens Iron…I’m getting sharper everyday (I hope), and with these razor’s edges I hope I don’t cut myself, fall upon my blade tripped up by pride, arrogance or foolishness.  Yes I’m not sure where my path will lead me…But I will be faithful.  Steady as it comes.