We all know the story of the prodigal son – that wayward child who demanded his inheritance, squandered it in wild living, and finally came crawling back home to his father’s embrace. The scripture literally says, “when he came to his senses” (Luke 15:17, NIV) It’s a beautiful tale of redemption, one we’ve heard countless times from pulpits and Sunday school classes…and maybe an old flannel-graph or two. But lately, I’ve been wrestling with an uncomfortable truth: the prodigal son isn’t just a character in a parable. He lives within me. There. I’ve said it. (Phew, what a relief).
You see, I’ve spent years pointing fingers at others’ shortcomings while expertly avoiding the mirror. I’ve sat in church pews, Bible balanced perfectly on my lap, nodding along to sermons about transformation while carefully tucking away the parts of myself that needed transforming most. I’ve become a master at seeing the speck in my brother’s eye while ignoring the plank in my own. Can you relate? I sure hope you can. Because I think this shadow-self, this prodigal lives within us all.
But God, in His persistent grace, hasn’t let me stay comfortable in my spiritual blindness. He’s been gently, yet firmly, turning my gaze inward, inviting me to examine those shadowy corners of my heart I’ve worked so hard to ignore. This isn’t just another devotional about self-improvement or a three-step guide to better Christian living. This is my raw, honest journey of confronting the prodigal within – the parts of myself I’d rather pretend don’t exist.
Let me start by confessing something that makes me deeply uncomfortable: I am a master of selective Christianity. I’ve perfected the art of highlighting the verses that make me feel good while skillfully dodging the ones that challenge my comfortable patterns. For years, I’ve chosen to focus on God’s promises of prosperity while conveniently overlooking His calls to die to self. I’ve championed grace for others in public while harboring private judgments that would make the Pharisees proud.
This journey began years ago, on an ordinary Wednesday evening, during what should have been a routine small group meeting. We were discussing the Beatitudes – familiar territory, I thought. But when someone asked, “What does it really mean to be poor in spirit?” I opened my mouth to give my usual polished answer and suddenly stopped short. In that moment, the Holy Spirit held up a mirror, and for the first time, I truly saw myself. Have you had that mirror experience too?
In that moment, I saw the pride masquerading as spiritual wisdom. I saw the selfishness dressed up in religious duty. I saw the fear hiding behind my confident exterior. Like the prodigal son, I hadn’t physically left my Father’s house, but my heart had wandered far from home. I was living in a far country of my own making, feeding on the husks of religious performance while starving for genuine transformation.
This isn’t a story about wallowing in guilt or shame. Rather, it’s about the extraordinary discovery that the same Father who runs to meet the physically prodigal son also races toward those of us who’ve wandered within the walls of the church. It’s about finding that true repentance begins not with outward actions, but with the courage to face ourselves honestly before God.
How honest are we about this prodigal within? When the Holy Spirit lifts that mirror before us what do we see and what do we intentionally ignore?
Confronting our Prodigal Self
When we confront instead of flee, true growth begins to take root within us. Only when we begin to accept that which we have long ignored will we truly experience freedom from the slavery of self. It’s liberating. You should try it sometime…there I go again judging you when I still have work to do.
Something more to ponder today.
Questions to consider:
1) What is preventing you right now from confronting your prodigal self (your shadow-self)?
2) What is the Holy Spirit saying to you?
3) How can you intentionally accept God’s honest, yet loving assessment of you?
Being vulnerable before God is hard. What can you do to set aside five minutes today to just sit before that mirror? Don’t flinch, just sit and listen. He desires to clothe you and throw a party for his child who was once lost but is now found.
(Repeat again tomorrow).
Pastor's Ponderings 
Sometimes we can look inwardly too much! Let us remember our flesh is rotten, riddled with sin, and that is why our Saviour took our sins out by the way of the cross! there is no way we can make ourselves pure and spotless! We look to Christ and Christ alone, we plead with him to lead us through this sinful evil world and hold us close to him and pray, “mould us into thy ways oh Lord”. The Lord knows our weaknesses, he knows the trials and tribulations we encounter on this miserable earth, but if we are prepared to confess our sins in our daily prayers and plead with him to take us by the hand and lead us, he will guide through! We should all be crying, “Come Lord Jesus Come!!!