Dear Micromanagers, you can’t micromanage God!

Walking down the street this morning, I was cold. With scarf wrapped around my neck and coat zipped as high as it would go, I walked to my destination, which was just at the end of the block. I almost missed it. It was purple in color…kind of hard to miss, and yet in my rush to get on with my busy schedule, I nearly missed a message seemingly intended for me.

Cars roared by, billowing out smoke and steam into the frosty air. School buses, full of students bemoaning the early mornings with backpacks full of homework yet uneaten by the dog, passed me by on their way to buildings of education near by. It wasn’t far now, my destination, just mere feet…then I paused.

There before me, printed on a stark concrete slab were words that I needed to see. In purple were the words, “Don’t take life so seriously”. In my whirl-wind day, as weeks would soon be upon me that would pull me in every which way, I needed those words. They spoke to me. They didn’t say to me “just ignore the priorities of life”, or “stop being responsible”…but instead those words rang out in my heart and shook me awake to the notion that I am not nor can I ever take the place of God in my life. I do have responsibilities and to quote Robert Frost “promises to keep”, yet I cannot control the outcome of this life and that of others around me.

I can be diligent and faithful as a Christ-follower, but there will be times where, though I can’t see the future I must willingly step forward and trust my Christ that He truly knows the way. This is extremely frightening to me…not to maintain that control on my life, but I’m positive that I am not the only one.

We all take life too seriously in the ways we conduct ourselves and in how we try to control all of the possible outcomes in this life. We try to micromanage this faith and we ignorantly try to tell God how things ought to be and in so doing we fail horribly in our attempts to play God.

What have you been trying to control in your life that ought to be placed under God’s authority? We need to stop taking control and being so serious that we fail to allow God to lead! Stop and allow Him to lead even though it might uncomfortable to let go…we will be better for it in the long and Eternal road.

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In need of a Savior

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In just a few days another installment of Marvel’s Thor will hit theaters (Thor 2 The Dark World) .  It will undoubtedly be #1 at the box office over the weekend.  This time Thor returns to Earth to help save mankind from an evil force not of this earth.  It will be an action packed movie with lots of special effects, some romance and the underlined theme that the World is in need of a savior.  I find it interesting that Thor is the son of a god (Odin).   Thor comes to Earth to save mankind from evil and death.  To me there is a deep underlining parallel here to Christ.

Last year the Avengers was a world wide success and financial money maker.  The entire Marvel franchise is well over a Billion dollar industry.  Why has their movies received such international success and acclaim?  Naturally people of all ages enjoy a good action film, but beyond that I believe there is this underlining innate longing to be saved and to have find a savior from life’s worries, fears and heartaches.  Every person on earth can most likely relate to such a longing.  There is something remarkably missing in our hearts that cannot be rectified from the inside alone.  We need an external force to save us.

Jesus came to this earth seeking to save the lost (Luke 19:10).  Why did He come?  Because we could not, in our own power and strength, save ourselves from the trappings of sin and death.  We needed an external force to grasp us by the hand and pull us to safety.  Since the fall of our first parents, Adam and Eve, we have lived with sin in our world.  We have all fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23), and we are in dire need of one who can save us from certain death.  This is why, I believe, we respond so passionately to superhero movies like Thor(2) and others before it. We crave saving.  We long for deliverance.  We look around us in our world and we see evil and hatred, sickness and death, and we pray for those life ending threats to end.   We turn on the news and witness another violent shooting in a mall or another systematic genocide taking place on this planet and we wish such stories would end.  We long for a savior to come and save us!

This life isn’t easy, sin is still very present and real, hatred and sickness at times still prevails; and yet there is hope.  The hope of the world entered earth some two thousand years ago and with Him, brought deliverance, salvation and the promise of new life for all who sought after Him.  God’s one and only Son, Jesus Christ still says to us today “I am the way the truth and the LIFE, no one comes to the Father except through me .” (John 14:6)

We are all in need of a Savior.  Though we enjoy a good flick about Superheroes now and then, we can recognize that we have already been saved and that new life can start today with our love and devotion towards God and His image reflected towards those around us.

-Just a thought for today.

Shalom and Encouragement.

But as for you, O man of God, flee these things.  Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love steadfastness, gentleness.  Fight the good fight of the faith.  Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.”  1 Timothy 6:11-12

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How is your soul today?  How are you doing spiritually?  These are questions that perhaps we hear asked from time to time and we utter niceties like “I’m doing great!” or “All is well!”…but inside, our hearts are screaming just the opposite.  Do we struggle to be real, genuine and honest with other fellow, trusted believers?  Are we willing to confess that we are still “under construction”?  Are we afraid to admit that we haven’t attained the measure of holiness that others seem to project upon us?  It is difficult to live up to other people’s expectations of us isn’t it?

Consider what the Apostle Paul writes to his protege Timothy here in the above verses.  Paul gets to the heart of the matter.  Timothy is warned of certain kinds of teachers, to avoid their trappings and to remain content in the Lord.  But Paul goes on to tell Timothy to flee from this sort of thing.  In the process of fleeing, he is to pursue some very essential kinds of spiritual disciplines:  righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness and gentleness.  These disciplines won’t be easy to fulfill all at once as the world spills into his life and the pressures to conform mount day by day.

Does this sound at all familiar to you today?  What sort of pressures are you facing from life?  Obviously in Timothy’s day these pressures could have very well led to death as Christ-followers were hunted and killed.  Paul, while in prison, reminds Timothy to pursue these vital things while continuing to “fight the good fight”.

How goes your battles today?  Are you fighting for the right and correct purposes?  Remember “the battle belongs to the Lord” (1 Samuel 17:47)!  Keep on fighting and where ever you are today, stop and pray to the Lord, who is always ready and willing to listen, support and strengthen you!  We are all over-comers if we have declared Christ Lord of our lives and placed His mission above anything else!

Fight on dear brothers and sisters!  Don’t grow weary, don’t give up and quit, because we are all appointed to this holy purpose with eternal results.  If you have been frustrated as of late, may the Lord provide you with clarity and encouragement!  If you have been discouraged and considered your resignation in this fight, reconsider and start by taking inventory of what the Lord has already brought you through and the many blessings He has provided for you along the way.

-Just a word of encouragement to you today from a person who daily seeks His encouragement in my life as well!

“The Lord bless you
and keep you;
the Lord make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you;
the Lord turn his face toward you
and give you peace.” (Numbers 6:24-26)

Shalom!

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Having the Right Perspective

Perspective matters.  In every aspect of life it matters from which perspective you are peering at any given issue.

Take this sidewalk art for example:

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As one walks up to it from a distance the illusion within this drawn perspective makes it look as though the man is truly standing on a globe.  But what happens when you peer at it from the side?  It looks like this:

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Now the illusion is revealed for what it is.  This globe has been drawn for the viewer to see it head on and not from an angle such as this, but the mystery and trick is quickly broken.

Life can be like this too.  Problems and troubles come our way, but how they effect us is a matter of perspective.  This isn’t some sort of “self-help” thought, but rather a “heart-help” notion.  How we view our worries, our fears and our hurts matters.  It not only matters to our emotional, physical and spiritual well-being; but it matters to God as well.

King David was a man after God’s own heart who knew a thing or two about worries and problems.  He faced death threats, murder attempts; he saw a woman bathing on a roof and plotted to not only seduce her but the murder her husband too.  Some of his problems were of his own making while others were dependent of the whims of a tyrant and foreign entities.  How David faced these trials became a matter of perspective.

Though David wasn’t perfect, he did know where his help came from.  In Psalm 86 he wrote; “Incline your ear, O Lord, and answer me, for I am poor and needy.  Preserve my life, for I am godly; save your servant, who trusts in you – you are my God.”           So much can be said of these two sentences.  David recognizes how poor and needy he is, and he is in need of saving once again.  He pleads with God to save him, and elicits a powerful reason for his request: “You are my God.”

Problems, fears and worries will be waiting for us in this life like hungry wolves on a hunt, but if we have the right perspective, and declare “You are my God” we too can overcome anything that comes our way!  We may not be delivered from those problems, but we will have One who will journey through it with us…come what may.

What does your perspective look like today?   How is your viewing angle on the problems of life?  Can you boldly declare as David did, I “trust in you – you are my God“?  If you can’t, then perhaps it is time to adjust your vision.  Stand before Him, trust Him, and find that He will always be there for you even in the midst of your worries and fears.

Perhaps it’s time to get some Godly perspective on these earthly troubles.

-Just a thought for today.

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NO CONDEMNATION!

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering.” Romans 8:1-3

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How is your spirit dear saint of God? Are you still guilt ridden? Do you still find that in your soul you feel ill-equipped and not good enough for His redemption? Do you still think that He came for everyone else except for you because you can’t fathom His forgiveness could be given to your iniquity?

Paul could have felt this way. Paul could have easily come to the conclusion that his persecution of Christ-followers was enough to condemn him without the possibility of redemption, and yet he recognize how vital salvation through Jesus was. He even states that he is the worst of all sinners (chief of sinners) 1 Timothy 1:15. Yet Paul perceived this saving grace in his life and we ought to as well! Jesus came for all of us! Our sins can and will be forgiven if we’re serious about it. Before Christ came the Jews had the law to guide them and to live by, but when Jesus came salvation was found in his unmerited grace! We, who were once slaves to sin can now be completely free from its enslavement in our lives! That doesn’t mean that we won’t suffer or experience hardships, but it does mean that we have hope and the right to be called sons and daughters of the most high! It is all possible because God sent to us His only Son!

Do you feel condemned today? Do you feel lost or downtrodden? You won’t find salvation by merely doing good works or trying harder. Salvation and the alleviation of guilt and condemnation of sin only comes through knowing the One who was crucified and has set us free through the shedding of His blood! God loves us THAT much! He wants that right relationship with us. The whole plan of redemption can be summed up in this chapter by Paul. We matter to God and we have been offered the way out…the only way!

Feeling condemned today? Find this gift of grace which is offered freely for those who believe!

-Just a thought for today.

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Rotten from the Inside or Transformed?

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I held it in my hands, not knowing what was underneath it.  It looked like any ordinary branch from the top, wooden and covered in a flaky ashen grey bark.  The grain and color of this branch looked healthy and strong.  But when I turned it over I discovered the reason this branch had broken off and had fallen to the ground.  On the underside the wood was infected and terminal.  On the underside termites had other insects were milling about slowly devouring this branch from the inside out.  Glancing up at the tree, from which this branch had fallen, I quickly realized that this tree was doomed.  It looked sturdy from the outside, it towered over me as its branches reached the sky and stopped at about twenty or thirty feet above me.  The tree wasn’t that old, perhaps ten or twenty years, and it would have continued growing had it not been for the parasite now eating it alive from the inside.

Slowly over the next couple of months, as I would walk past this tree which was situated in a park near my home, I watched in silent sadness as it lost all of its once beautiful leaves.  Now with bare branches it stood ready to be chopped down by the park’s caretakers.  It had gone from a vibrant young tree with so growth to achieve to a dead, hollowed out shell worthy of becoming wood chips or kindling for a fire.

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Watching this foliage of tragedy unfold reminded me of how we are sometimes like this young tree in our spiritual lives.  We attain a certain height in our spiritual maturation process, we look vibrant, hopeful and secure in our faith…but then it happens.  We allow a small portion of our old lives to still exist within us.  Sometimes on purpose while other times unknowingly.

As children of God who are called to be set apart for His purposes, we secretly set apart some of the old self and cling to it even though it could kills us spiritually.  We store it up in our hearts, compartmentalize our “church life” from our “other life” and yet we know somewhere deep down inside of us that we are called to surrender it all.  We are called to one life, not two separate lives.  Either we’re with God as His child or we’re back in the world and in our old sinful, self indulgent lifestyles.  When we cling to these bits and pieces of ourselves, which existed before the moment of our salvation, we are essentially saying to God, “you can have most of me, but I’m keeping this one small thing!”

When we do this, why are we then surprised when we begin to rot from the inside out?  Why are we shocked when we lose our fruit and our branches become bare?  Why do we suddenly realize that our passion for Christ is now gone and yet can’t fathom why it is that way?

If we were to get serious about this faith and about our spiritual survival, we would quickly realize how vital it is for us to face our infections.  These infections are the spiritual parasites or the leftover remnants of the old life.  We cannot ignore them, because they will never go away unless when expose them and submit them to the light of Christ.  To simply ignore their presence only seals our fate of being slowly hollowed out and eaten alive.

From the outside that branch looked healthy, yet when I turned it over and saw what had become of it, I knew that the tree from which it had come was doomed.  It was so brittle and full of holes from which the termites poured out.  The outside looked fine, but the tree had lost that internal battle.

I think there is something to be said about our internal battles as well.  We, as Christ followers, can not afford to lose this internal battle that wages within us.  There is still work to be done by the Holy Spirit in the hearts of us all!  There may be small pockets of the old life still resistant and evident in us.  No one else knows it.  By all appearances we look fine and healthy on the outside, yet on the inside we’re struggling to stay alive.

Two things must take place within our hearts to prevent this parasite of sin to continue to exist within us;

One, we must expose it for what it is.  Don’t hold back or ignore it.  Do not shy away from confronting it, and do not keep it hidden.  The Lord knows its there, yet we keep trying to convince ourselves that it is not.  Expose it to the Light of Christ!  Share it with Him.  Open up the doors of those hidden dark passages of your heart and allow His light to flood them completely!  Without first exposing it to the Light of Christ, we can pretend and ignore it.  But once we’ve opened up the doors completely, and honestly looked in, we can’t help but feel shame and regret.  Let it happen.  Spiritual maturity, also known as Holiness, cannot take place completely without first facing our deepest darkest sins.  Then we get serious.  Then we let it all out and place it in the forgiving nail scarred hands of Christ.

Secondly, once His light has gained access to the abscesses of our hearts, we must be willing to let go of it.  We must relinquish our grip on it.  We must surrender it all to Christ.  Nothing else can grow there, nothing else can change in our spirit if we don’t first surrender those remnants of the old sinful ways.

When we have exposed this parasitical sin to His light and surrendered it into His hands, then we find ourselves surprisingly free of this burden of guilt and shame.  We find that we can finally grow again and allow His very image to be our sole desire.

The tree doesn’t have to die, our spiritual walk doesn’t have to stagnate!  We must be willing to reveal and surrender, then the healing can begin which will give way to this tremendous growth.

-Just a thought for today.

General Cox: A call to a deeper spiritual life!

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Yesterday at the New Zealand Congress, Salvation Army General Andre’ Cox said “He dreams of a Salvation Army that is ‘vibrant, committed and on its knees before God” He went on to say that  “Deepening the spiritual life of Salvationists is essential to moving forward as an Army, he said. “If we want to see our world change, we ourselves must be changed by God.”

Let me first just say “Amen!”  General Cox is spot on in regards to this continued need for personal and corporate holiness in our Army!  We cannot expect to grow or change the world without first deepening these spiritual waters in our lives.  Without the Holy Spirit’s guidance and direction for His people and His Army, we can find ourselves scattered by the winds of discouragement and discord.

It is encouraging to me that General Cox is picking up where General Bond left off.  We are, as an International Salvation Army, One Army and to build on this One Army we first must make sure our walk with the Lord and our maturation of faith continues.  Without it we cannot and will not remain united.

As reported by IHQ’s web page, the New Zealand, Fiji and Tonga Territory celebrated some fantastic growth of Soldiery and expansion in Corps.  Isn’t that awesome?  It really doesn’t matter which territory you belong you, as an Army we too can celebrate their growth within this Army!  Congratulations!

I believe our Army has much to accomplish in the years to come, but without first checking our hearts, motives and righteous intentions these accomplishments could be for naught…yet I too whole heartedly agree with his call for all Soldiers to deeper their faith.

How is your heart?  How is your walk with the Lord today?  May you continue in your walk with Him!  May you also continue to be a light to all who encounter your love and passion for them through  Jesus Christ our Lord!

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News Source:  http://www.salvationarmy.org/ihq/news/inr260913

“Brothers don’t shake hands…Brothers gotta hug!”

The title I have used today is a quote from one of my favorite Chris Farley movies: “Tommy Boy”.   In it he discovers (falsely so) that he has a brother and so he is ecstatic to welcome him into the family.  The film is a little crude at times, yet Chris Farley had a way of hamming it up for cameras which made him extremely funny.

Do you know what’s not funny in this world though?  Brothers and sisters in Christ facing discouragement and frustrations alone in life.  Why does this happen?  Isn’t the Body of Christ supposed to uplift and encourage?  Where are the helping hands at times to come along those who are suffering through various blights of discouragement?

Paul puts it rather plainly for the early church and for us still today when he says, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.  Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another–and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:24-25 (NIV) 

Why then, in times of despair, does it seem as if some are trudging through it alone?

Do you remember the story of the paralytic who wanted to be healed by Jesus?  How did he get to Jesus?  He certainly didn’t walk there.  No, instead his friends took the time to care for him.  They took the time to pick him up on his mat and take him to Jesus.  In fact they had to go to great lengths to place their friend at the feet of Jesus.  When they got to where Jesus was teaching they discovered that the house was full of people, there was absolutely no room for them to carry him in on his mat.  So instead of calling it quits or abandoning their friend they instead devised a shrewd plan.  The hefted him, laboriously up onto the owner’s roof and tore a hole in it so that they could lower him down to Jesus.  (Mark 2:4)  What friends!   They took the time to encourage and lift (literally) their friend to Jesus.

What of us today?  Do we take the time to encourage our brothers and sisters in Christ?  Or are we too preoccupied with our own worries and our own busy schedules?  These friends who lowered their paralyzed colleague down through a roof could have called it quits once they found the house to be too full of people.  They could have shrugged their shoulders and said, “well we tried” and carried him back home with no change in his living situation…yet they didn’t.  They took time out of their busy schedules.  They went the extra mile.  They weren’t interested in what they could get out of the situation.  It wasn’t about them, it was about their friend, their brother on the mat who couldn’t move.

Brothers and sisters in Christ, there is sometimes a danger of becoming too comfortable in our lives that we lose focus on others around us.  Others who could use some encouragement.  Others who need to hear a word of love and kindness from their peers.  We can’t afford to be little isolated islands or clusters of Church goers who never engage and connect with other parts of the body of Christ!

The poet John Donne once wrote:

No man is an island,
Entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thy friend’s
Or of thine own were:
Any man’s death diminishes me,
Because I am involved in mankind,
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; 
It tolls for thee. 

Today, there are fellow Christ-followers who need your support.  Today there are brothers and sisters in Christ who are about to give up because they feel all alone with no one to support them.  Today is another shining opportunity to be a brother or a sister to the discouraged and distraught.  You can be a source of encouragement.  You don’t need to be a professional counselor or a degreed Psychologist to help, you just need to be present and available.

Are you willing?  Are you available?  Ask the Lord for guidance and discernment and then get involved in the lives of other believers which will extend far beyond the pew on Sundays.  Give them a hug, love on them and then allow God’s fellowship of love to penetrate your hearts so that self isn’t number one but Christ is first and others are even before our own wants and needs.

-Just a thought for today.

and we sent Timothy, our brother and God’s fellow worker in the gospel of Christ, to strengthen and encourage you as to your faith...” 1 Thessalonians 3:2

Pastoral Battle of the Bulge

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Let me meddle for a moment…ok more than just a moment.  Staying in shape and eating healthy is something we must seriously consider within our pastoral lives.  Not just as examples to our parishioners but also because we can and will live longer more active lives for God if we do so!

In our culture today it is very common to just go and grab a quick bite to eat because we are so busy.  When we eat out all of the time we quickly realize that pastors on a tight budget have to be very selective in where we eat.  Most likely the healthier places to eat are undoubtedly more expensive.   So much of the time, out of convenience, we will hit the local McDonalds or the Burger King or another fast food chain that offers convenience and quantity over quality.   Don’t get me wrong a good burger and fries once in a while is great to grab but it shouldn’t become our staple diet on a daily basis.

I must confess that I too struggle with this issue.  I have not always been healthy.  I have often succumbed to the fast food junky lifestyle.   In my world, the Christmas season is one of our busiest times.  Often times we find ourselves at the end of our day hungry and running through the drive-thru window at a local fast food chain.  Because of this habit, largely out of necessity and busy-ness, many pastors face health issues such as diabetes, heart issues and a slew of other complications.  We struggle through sleeping issues because of being overweight.  We struggle through back problems and pinched nerves.  We find eventually  that the quality of life is, in a nutshell, miserable all because our eating habits have taken us down these sedentary  roads of crisis.

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Did you know that gluttony is a sin?  As a pastor I’m sure you do.  I’ve been convicted of this issue in my own life.  It wasn’t that I intentionally wanted to become a glutton and gorge myself, but stress eating is a crux of mine.  Truth be told we minister to many people who find themselves in crisis situations.  We counsel individuals and couples through difficult situations.  We have to sometimes confront immoral sin in the church.  We deal with our stress differently.  Some internalize it.  Some blow up in anger, anguish, tears…etc.  So eating through stress with our comfort foods leads us down the road of obesity and health issues.

Secondly, if we have children and we live on a tight/fixed income we never want to waste the food that we purchase, and so when our children only eat a certain portion and we’ve prepared more we graze because we are frugal with our resources.   It’s almost a great depression era mentality in which we never ever ever throw out food but rather consume it all.  This may not be an issue with some of you, you don’t have a problem discarding excess food, while there are others of us who cannot see food left on the plates go to waste.

Regardless of where you are on this spectrum it’s important to consider your health, weight and life choices when it comes to the foods that we eat.

Questions:

Q: I’m overweight and experiencing health issues now in my life how do I lose the weight and get healthy again? 

A: It took a considerable amount of time to gain the weight that you are now carrying.  In so saying it will also take some considerable amount of time to lose that excess weight, so don’t think it’s impossible and don’t get frustrated when you begin to get serious about your fitness/health.   Consult your doctor, get a checkup and perhaps even setup an appointment with a nutritionist in your area.   You must recognize that you may not, at the onset, be ready to engage in extreme physical exercise.  So don’t just start jogging or take a tough physical course at the local YMCA/fitness center.  Check with your doctor first.

Set goals:

 What do I mean by setting goals? Start off small.  After you’ve seen your doctor/nutritionist then begin setting goals slowly.  You’ve heard of baby steps?  Make baby step goals that are a challenge yet not overwhelming.  Make a commitment to walk a couple miles a day.  Make a commitment to avoid the fast foot drive-thru windows.  Be determined to eat better.  Avoid the heavy starched foods and the sugary sweets.  Lay off the Soda/Pop (I know that hurts doesn’t it?).  Carbonated sodas are not good for us.  Not only the sugars in the regular sodas add to the fat in our bodies but the acids in these drinks lead to other problems in our health down the road.  Make the attempt to first cut way back on your intake of Soda/Pop.  Even cutting back can have some positive effects on the body.  Don’t buy the gimmick that Diet soda is better for you either.  Do some research and notice that excess of these diet drinks can actually be worse for you.

Lastly, don’t consider gastric bypass to be your only way out of this weight issue.  It helps some, but eating habits have to be long term.  Surgery is not the answer it is only a part of the solution for some who are extremely obese.  Getting healthy has to involve some sort of exercise coupled with better eating habits.  Just remember if it’s seems too easy perhaps it is and will not help you in the long term in the goal of keeping off the weight and staying healthy.

-Just a few thoughts today to all of you pastors out there!

The World A Flame (Poem)

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I watched the world die today

from my three seasons porch

my comfortable perch, a safe haven

of hope drawn in by

its soft, inviting  light of the day.

It spilled onto my lap, warming my feet

as I sat cross legged on the couch.

The earth was in flames today

and I watched it all burn and smolder

and finally it came crashing

down

to the ground.

I watched with horrified

interest

on the edge of my seat

fascinated and transifixed

as hatred ruled the heart

I drank another

cup of steaming coffee

rich and black

smooth as silk

down to the last bitter

earthen drop.

Bitterness tainted

more than this empty cup

as I watched

it ignited the  hapless soul

as it careened out of control

diving headfirst  into the souls

of others who were also hell bent

on the pathways of selfishness.

As eyes took in the flames

the heat, the spite, the maliced tongue

I wept…for this was

a vision of me

hell bent on my own

accomplishments…

hell bent on my own agendas

on my own devices and self-ladden heart

the man aflame was me…and I could do nothing

but watch it all go crumbling down

how powerless these hands and feet.

How empty all these yearnings and strivings.

How bitter the self-indulgent worries

and the blankets of careless apathy.

I saw the world burn today

as I sat and watched it all crumble to the ground.

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