Tackling the “S” Word…

I remember dropping a friend off at their home after school when I heard about the suicide-death of Kurt Cobain – lead singer of Nirvana.  I just couldn’t believe it.  As a fan, I thought he had it all.  Sure, there had been stories about his drug issues…but as a senior in high school, I couldn’t fathom someone of his stature taking his own life.  Later on, I remember reading the words of Kurt’s mother, Wendy O’Connor as she grieved she declared, “I told him not to join that stupid club…”

That stupid club?  – all of those other musicians and stars who partied hard and died young.   Their stories litter pop culture like spots on a Jackson Pollock painting.
Linkin Park concert
And then we have Chester Bennington, the iconic voice of Linkin Park, highly regarded as one of the best (if not THE best) rock voices of his era – Ending it all in what appears to be another sad story in the annals of music history.  How so very tragic.  Chester leaves behind six children and many who are simply floored in grief over his sudden death.


There is nothing that can be said to bring peace to the families of those who choose to end their lives.  Depression, drug abuse, life’s pressures have affected many, and some believe that they just can’t go on living.  If anyone has ever been in that deep of a depression, you will know that the mind is not working the way it should and suicide seems to be the only way out.

I am not defending the actions of one who chooses to end their life in such a way, I am merely trying to grapple with the loss that is felt when someone dies.  Suicide is never the solution and yet we cannot know what someone is struggling with and how lost they might feel.  All we can do is be available and to show love and support to those who are hurting.

Perhaps the best method in coping is NOT to express anger as Korn Guitarist Brian Welch (known as ‘Head’)  has done as he shared his frustration and criticized Chester saying it was ‘the cowardly way out’.   We may have similar opinions and frustrations.  Welch went on to say (for those who actually read the rest of what he had to say and didn’t just slam him) he knows all too well the struggles of depression and getting “wasted”…Welch, expressed his frustration and anger – yet there is something to his expression that seems understandable – He was friends with Chester.

Suicide Sucks!
There are people who are left behind when anyone dies in such a way.
Many people sent out shock and condolences, OneRepublic tweeted out; “Dear God.  Massive RIP to Chester Bennington of @linkinpark This BREAKS OUR HEART.  Suicide is the devil on earth walking amonst us.

Children are left without a father.
Mothers and Fathers without a son…and the list goes on.
I won’t go too far to say that suicide is selfish…(even if it is).
Many who choose to end their life are in the deepest places of grief, depression and they are not always in the right place mentally.  It simply hurts…

If you have ever contemplated suicide – please, please, please don’t!!!
You are loved!
You do matter!
Life is worth living, if you can just hang on a little longer!

Please seek out help!
Counselors and friends are available, you just need to ask.

I have done funerals for families who have lost loved ones to suicide.
Suicide sucks!  It leaves vacuum in the hearts of many…and they wonder if they could’ve done something prevent it from happening.  I, don’t have all of the answers, but I do know that there is a God of grace who cares about your life and the lives of those who contemplate suicide. Be respectful, hopeful, and offer love and support to loved ones around you who might be struggling today.

-Just a thought.

Other Sources to check out:
You Cannot Be Replaced
Suicide Prevention
Text Hotline
Help Guide

Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder

Robin Williams Article

The Day Laughter Died – Robin Williams A Tribute


Wow, just wow.
Like most of the world I am in shock tonight as I write this.  No, I never met famous comedian Robin Williams.  I never sent him fan letters or visited Hollywood and looked for his star…but as soon as the news broke of his passing it struck me like it was one of my own family members…because he truly was one of my family members.  Our family watched many of his movies in theaters in our own living room with popcorn in hand.  He inspired us with many roles which evoked hope in us all.  He made us laugh.  He made us cry.  He was the crazy, really hairy man who would go to great lengths to bring a brilliant character to life and transform us into fantastical lands we never thought possible.


I can’t tell you which of his films I admired more: Hook, Patch Adams, Dead Poets Society, What Dreams May Come, Jumanji, Good Will Hunting, Night At The Museum, The Bird Cage…and so many more.



My heart is broken.
I literally lost a family member in his passing…and I’m venturing a guess that you have too.
I don’t want to make this about depression or addictions…but there’s always hope, there’s always help and those who care.  I just wish Robin would have found that in his wonderful life.  Today, a little bit of my laughter and your laughter died.  Today, it wasn’t so much about just another actor dying, but about a piece of us, a piece of this light of life being extinguished.


Something like this happening abruptly like it does pulls us all up short.  It makes us re-evaluate things.  It makes us recognize just how fragile this thing called life truly is.  It makes us ask the kind of questions we aren’t willing to consider in other situations…

How can depressions extinguish the light of someone who seemed to have so much to live for?
Why suicide (if it is indeed suicide)?
Could this have been prevented?
Who could have intervened?
Am I struggling with depression right now?  Should I ask for help?
Am I alone or can I really talk to someone who can help me?

Again I don’t want to make this tribute all about the burdens and struggles of life, but when someone who shines so brightly burns out in this way we can’t help but consider these things.  We live in a fragile world in these fragile shells of bodies and we all face dark days, burdens and struggles.  We all face pressures of life and we consciously must journey through even those seasons.

Robin – Thank you for making us laugh.  Thank you for shining so brightly into our lives for so long.  I only wish you could have overcome this last burden.  I mourn now because in your passing countless of your extended family and immediate family are left with questions that will go unanswered.  If WE could have made YOU laugh…You inspired us with so much hope only to have reached a place in life without it.  You faced these battles…they were yours and we mourn now because we couldn’t help you overcome.

What I do know:  I know our Creator to be a God of great mercy and grace…I don’t know how this grace of God works but I do know that it extends far beyond what our humans minds can fathom and comprehend.  Now you stand before that great God of grace, may His love be lavished upon you.  I pray you have found ultimate healing from your struggles and battles in life.  I also pray for your family, for their hurting hearts and questioning minds.  We love you!


This is truly the day laughter died.


Rest In Peace

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