Tackling the “S” Word…

I remember dropping a friend off at their home after school when I heard about the suicide-death of Kurt Cobain – lead singer of Nirvana.  I just couldn’t believe it.  As a fan, I thought he had it all.  Sure, there had been stories about his drug issues…but as a senior in high school, I couldn’t fathom someone of his stature taking his own life.  Later on, I remember reading the words of Kurt’s mother, Wendy O’Connor as she grieved she declared, “I told him not to join that stupid club…”

That stupid club?  – all of those other musicians and stars who partied hard and died young.   Their stories litter pop culture like spots on a Jackson Pollock painting.
Linkin Park concert
And then we have Chester Bennington, the iconic voice of Linkin Park, highly regarded as one of the best (if not THE best) rock voices of his era – Ending it all in what appears to be another sad story in the annals of music history.  How so very tragic.  Chester leaves behind six children and many who are simply floored in grief over his sudden death.

NO EASY WORDS: 



There is nothing that can be said to bring peace to the families of those who choose to end their lives.  Depression, drug abuse, life’s pressures have affected many, and some believe that they just can’t go on living.  If anyone has ever been in that deep of a depression, you will know that the mind is not working the way it should and suicide seems to be the only way out.

I am not defending the actions of one who chooses to end their life in such a way, I am merely trying to grapple with the loss that is felt when someone dies.  Suicide is never the solution and yet we cannot know what someone is struggling with and how lost they might feel.  All we can do is be available and to show love and support to those who are hurting.

Perhaps the best method in coping is NOT to express anger as Korn Guitarist Brian Welch (known as ‘Head’)  has done as he shared his frustration and criticized Chester saying it was ‘the cowardly way out’.   We may have similar opinions and frustrations.  Welch went on to say (for those who actually read the rest of what he had to say and didn’t just slam him) he knows all too well the struggles of depression and getting “wasted”…Welch, expressed his frustration and anger – yet there is something to his expression that seems understandable – He was friends with Chester.

Suicide Sucks!
There are people who are left behind when anyone dies in such a way.
Many people sent out shock and condolences, OneRepublic tweeted out; “Dear God.  Massive RIP to Chester Bennington of @linkinpark This BREAKS OUR HEART.  Suicide is the devil on earth walking amonst us.

Children are left without a father.
Mothers and Fathers without a son…and the list goes on.
I won’t go too far to say that suicide is selfish…(even if it is).
Many who choose to end their life are in the deepest places of grief, depression and they are not always in the right place mentally.  It simply hurts…

If you have ever contemplated suicide – please, please, please don’t!!!
You are loved!
You do matter!
Life is worth living, if you can just hang on a little longer!

Please seek out help!
Counselors and friends are available, you just need to ask.

I have done funerals for families who have lost loved ones to suicide.
Suicide sucks!  It leaves vacuum in the hearts of many…and they wonder if they could’ve done something prevent it from happening.  I, don’t have all of the answers, but I do know that there is a God of grace who cares about your life and the lives of those who contemplate suicide. Be respectful, hopeful, and offer love and support to loved ones around you who might be struggling today.

-Just a thought.

Other Sources to check out:
You Cannot Be Replaced
Suicide Prevention
Text Hotline
Help Guide

Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder

Robin Williams Article

Dear Salvation Army – The Internal Battle & 3 Prescriptions!

robin3This past August when Robin Williams died, the world was shocked.  How could someone so funny come to such a sad and horrible ending?  We really do not understand the depths of such internal battles unless we ourselves have been there.

Truths:
Just because we put on uniforms it doesn’t mean that we stop experiencing difficulties.

Just because we become a Christ-follower doesn’t mean that we stop struggling with internal battles.
depression
Some people even genetically struggle with things like depression and I would like to talk about this today.  Before you stop reading and think to yourself “this doesn’t relate to me“, perhaps you’ll reconsider because we are all in this together and you just might be able to help someone else who DOES relate to this.

A Story About Depression:
One of my Uncles, who is an Officer in the Southern Territory USA,  shared with me a story about a local Presbyterian minister in his town.  It is a sad story.  The kind of story that causes shell shocked locals to question life and death and to reconsider their preconceived notions of depression.
depression1
Apparently, this local Presbyterian minister, who had been on sabbatical from his church, committed suicide.   He ended his life.  He allowed the darkness within him to quench the light of hope.  Let that sink in for a moment.  A minister, who was deeply depressed and struggling with this difficult internal battle, ended his life.  It doesn’t matter how he did it, but that he did it.  His church and surrounding community are currently and completely devastated.  Questions have been swirling and the idea that not just any person committed suicide, but a Pastor and leader of a church committed suicide has sent his church and community whirling in disbelief.

There’s A Lesson Here:
-Everyone is susceptible to these internal battles
.-
It doesn’t matter if you’re a Presbyterian minister, a Catholic Priest or even a Salvation Army Officer or Soldier.  We still struggle in life sometimes.  We can still face things like depression.  Sometimes we’re very good at hiding it too.  Sometimes we’re so good that we even convince ourselves that nothing is wrong when something is very wrong within us.  We sometimes compartmentalize these struggles and convince ourselves that someone else is to blame or the situation at hand is to blame when the battle is truly internal.  Instead of beating ourselves up over feeling this way, we need to reach out for help.

The Misnomers Of Depression:
We can often look at these internal battles as weaknesses and something to be embarrassed about.  If you’re struggling right now or know someone who is, please don’t be embarrassed or make that person feel embarrassed.  Don’t think for a minute that you are less valuable because of the internal struggles you are facing.  Don’t think for a minute that no one will understand.  Don’t think for a minute that you are all alone in these dark days.  Don’t buy into the lie that you must be weaker than other because you are struggling.

Another misnomer with depression is the idea that if I deny it exists (that I’m depressed)  I will be fine.  Have you ever shaken up a carbonated soda and then opened up the top?  What happens?  The bottled up carbonated soda explodes from the container doesn’t it?  In the same way that bottle can’t hold the shaken contents, so too our bodies and minds aren’t equipped to hold everything in either.  We have to let these struggles and abscesses of the heart and soul out of us.  We can’t avoid them…they won’t simply go away.  We could do more harm to ourselves if we just let them fester within us without releasing them.

Prescriptions:rx
Here are three prescriptions, dear soldier, to help us conquer and win these internal battles  –

1) Seek Professional Help!
It is a sign of strength, not weakness to receive help from a counselor, pastor, or professional psychologist.  Get over the misconception that it is wrong to talk about your struggles.  Seeking out help is the first step to having victory over that internal battle!  Don’t be afraid to ask for help!  When we have someone else on board with us helping us find hope and joy again we can also find healing.

accountability12) Seek Accountability
This might go hand in hand with #1…but it goes further.  Do you have a friend in whom you can confide?  Are there trusted people in your life who can listen but also be honest with you?  Don’t seek out just anyone or even someone who agree with everything you say.  Find someone who will challenge you, be honest with you and will keep you accountable.  Seek out a fellow brother or sister in Christ who can pray with you and help shoulder your heavy burdens.  Accountability helps relieve some of these internal struggles.  Depression is worse when dealt with alone…remember that!

3) Find Rest And Activitiesrest1
We need our rest to replenish our physical and emotional reserves.  Officers and soldiers are ever in the fray of this mission field, but even soldiers and officers need hobbies and rest!  Make sure you find some “Me” time.  This isn’t selfish this is self-preservation.  What good will you be if you are spent and worn through and through?  Make sure you find things to do outside your mission field sometimes.  Get sufficient rest, take time to reconnect and rejuvenate.

These are just three crucial prescriptions.  There are more, but doing these three things will help in your journey to victory over your internal battles.  Don’t quit.  Don’t think for a moment that you are alone.  You are loved.  You are needed.  You are important!

If we are to be healthy Soldiers and Officers, we must first be honest with ourselves and be willing to do a little soul-care from time to time.  These internal battles won’t just go away if we just ignore them, we must confront them and in that confronting we can find healing and recovery!

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” -Proverbs 4:23

Something more for our Army world to ponder today!
To God Be The Glory…and remember, You are NOT alone!!

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