Breaking the Silence: A Pastor’s Pondering on Mental Health

Hey there, friends, happy Monday! In just a few days it will be May, and May is Mental Health Awareness Month. So, I thought it would be helpful to write about this topic today. Mental health can, unfortunately be a taboo topic often tiptoed or whispered about in church hallways or avoided altogether because it feels too raw, too messy, too…unspiritual. But what if I told you that mental health is as much a part of our sacred journey as prayer, worship, or loving our neighbor? What if the struggles we face in our minds are not a sign of weakness but an invitation to deeper grace?

A while back, I sat down with a colleague at work (I work for a Mental Health non-profit), we’ll call her Lisa (that’s not her real name), a counselor who’s spent years walking alongside folks wrestling with anxiety, depression, and everything in between. I wanted to know: Why is it so hard for us, especially in the church, to talk about mental health? Why do we slap a stigma on it like it’s something to be ashamed of? And what would it look like for us to tear that stigma down, brick by brick, and build something new in its place?

Lisa leaned back in her chair, her eyes soft but piercing, and said something that stuck with me: “Scott, we’ve got this unspoken rule in a lot of churches. It’s like, if you’re struggling mentally, you’re somehow failing at faith. Like your depression means you don’t trust God enough or your anxiety is a lack of surrender. But that’s not how it works. That’s not how any of this works.”

And I felt that. Deep in my gut. Because I’ve seen it. I’ve seen the way we sidestep conversations about mental health in our congregations. I’ve seen the way people hide their pain because they’re afraid of being judged, of being told to “just pray harder” or “give it to God.” I’ve seen it in my own life, too. There was a season when I was carrying so much—pastoring a church, raising kids, trying to be a good husband—and I felt like I was drowning. I didn’t have the language for it then, but looking back, I was wrestling with anxiety. And you know what? I didn’t tell a soul. Not because I didn’t want help, but because I was terrified of what people would think. A pastor with anxiety? Come on, Scott, pull it together.

But here’s the thing: God didn’t create us to hide. From Him, from each other, from ourselves. Genesis tells us we were made in God’s image, fearfully and wonderfully crafted, every part of us—our hearts, our minds, our messy, beautiful, complicated souls. And when our minds hurt, when our thoughts spiral, when the weight of the world feels like too much, that’s not a betrayal of God’s design. It’s part of being human in a broken world.

Lisa put it this way: “Mental health struggles are like any other kind of pain. If you break your leg, you don’t sit there and pray for the bone to magically heal while refusing to see a doctor. You get a cast, you do the physical therapy, you let people help you. Why should it be any different with our mental health? Therapy, medication, support groups—these aren’t signs of failure. They’re tools. They’re gifts.”

That hit me hard. Gifts. What if we started seeing mental health care as a gift? Not just for the person struggling, but for the whole community? Because when one of us is hurting, we’re all hurting. And when one of us finds healing, we’re all lifted up. That’s the body of Christ, right? We carry each other’s burdens. We celebrate each other’s victories. We don’t leave anyone behind.

So, let’s talk about the stigma. Where does it come from? I think part of it is fear. We’re afraid of what we don’t understand. Mental health can feel like this big, mysterious thing, and it’s easier to push it away than to lean in and listen. Part of it is history, too. For a long time, the church hasn’t known what to do with mental health. We’ve leaned on spiritual answers for everything, and while I believe with all my heart that God is our ultimate healer, I also believe He gave us brains to create medicine, hearts to offer compassion, and communities to hold each other up.

And let’s be honest: sometimes it’s pride. We want to look like we’ve got it all together. We want to be the strong ones, the faithful ones, the ones who never waver. But you know what’s stronger than pretending you’re fine? Being honest. Saying, “I’m not okay right now.” That takes courage. That takes faith. That’s the kind of vulnerability Jesus modeled when He wept in the garden, when He cried out on the cross. If the Son of God can be honest about His pain, why can’t we?

So, what do we do? How do we start breaking the silence? I don’t have all the answers, but I’ve got a few ideas, and I’d love to hear yours. First, let’s talk about it. Like, really talk about it. In our sermons, in our small groups, in our coffee shops and living rooms. Let’s normalize conversations about mental health the way we normalize conversations about physical health. Let’s share our stories—not to compare pain, but to remind each other we’re not alone.

Second, let’s educate ourselves. Pastors, I’m looking at us. We don’t have to be therapists, but we can learn enough to recognize when someone’s struggling and point them toward help. We can partner with counselors, host workshops, create spaces where people feel safe to say, “I need support.” And we can preach about mental health with the same compassion we bring to any other part of the human experience.

Third, let’s be the church. The real church. The one that shows up with casseroles and prayers and listening ears. The one that doesn’t judge or fix, but just sits with people in the mess. The one that says, “You are enough, just as you are, and God loves you right here, right now.”

I think about Jesus a lot when I ponder this stuff. Jesus, who met people where they were. The woman at the well, carrying her shame. The man possessed by demons, crying out in torment. The disciples, scared and doubting. Jesus didn’t turn them away. He didn’t tell them to get their act together first. He saw them, loved them, and offered them a way forward. That’s our model. That’s our call.

So, friends, here’s my invitation to you: Let’s be a community that breaks the stigma. Let’s be a place where people can say, “I’m struggling,” and hear, “I’m here with you.” Let’s be a church that doesn’t just talk about grace but lives it, especially when it comes to mental health. Because the God who knit us together, who knows every thought before we think it, is not ashamed of us. Not ever.

What do you think? What’s one step you could take to start this conversation in your own life or community? Drop a comment below or shoot me an email—I’d love to keep this going. Until then, keep pondering, keep praying, and keep showing up for each other. We’re in this together.

Grace and peace,
-Pastor Scott.

Dear Salvation Army, Not Another Suicide…

We just recently moved, or more accurately, we were appointed to a new appointment within the Salvation Army.  Every ministry is unique from town to town, city to city…this is no different.  Our ministry here in the new appointment is far different from the last.  The need within abstract poverty is significantly higher.  There is more drug and alcohol problems…and a staggering amount of mental health issues within this community.
depression
Just recently a young adult female in our soup kitchen committed suicide…it hurts me to think that no one was there for her when she needed someone the most.  She was only 22 years old.  She suffered from depression and a slew of other mental health issues.  I wish her story was an isolated incident, but I know it’s not.  I could probably rationalized it all away and say to myself “well she was already troubled” or “She was too far gone to get help and prevent her suicide“…but I won’t do that.  I can’t help but wonder if we missed an opportunity with her.  Are we missing out on a crucial life and death ministry?

I know there are no easy answers and “quick fixes” will not solve deeper issues, but we cannot afford to do nothing.  We cannot ignore this blight of humanity.

Statistics:
Affects approximately 14.8 million American adults, or about 6.7 percent of the U.S. population age 18 and older in a given year.  (Source: adaa.org)

350,000,000 is the number of people globally who are affected by some form of depression.
70% is the The percentage by which women are more likely than men to experience depression in their lifetime.
16,000,000 is The estimated number of U.S. adults who had at least one major depressive episode 2012. This made up approximately 6.9 percent of all adults in the country.
50%  is the percentage of Americans with major depression who don’t seek treatment for the mental illness.

(Source: Huffington Post)

povertyQuestions to Ponder Today:
-Can we, as Salvationists, do something to help either directly or indirectly (seeking professional help and counselors who can help)?
-What does ministry that serves those who suffer from mental health issues look like?
-Can we help to prevent suicides of those who come into our doors for help?
-Are there marginalized people in my community who suffer from mental health illnesses that I can help?
-How can we be more sensitive to the needs of those who are suffering with these ailments?

soup
I don’t have all of the answers, in fact, I have more questions than answers…but I know that we can do more.
I don’t want to just be a soup kitchen that feeds the body but does nothing to help the mind find healing.
I know that many mental illnesses are difficult to treat and even cure, but certainly we can do something…
Many displaced individuals who come for food into our soup kitchens are struggling through things like depression, thoughts of suicide, and other deeper mental issues…certainly we can work with professionals to help them.  We can’t not help.  We must help.  We could be the last stop before they consider taking their lives.

Is there a need for a mental health ministry in your corps?
Are you already doing something in your present ministry that you could share with us?
Please respond, please share, and I covet your suggestions and experiences…post them here if you can, we can help each other find workable solutions to this horrific blight on humanity.

Something more for our Army world to ponder today.
To God be the glory!

Prayer: Lord help us to have discernment with the people we minister to.  Help us love the unlovable.  Help us to be your witnesses of love to the downtrodden.  Guide us in doing this ministry.  We are your people first and from this flows your mercy and grace.  Guide The Salvation Army as we bring hope into hopeless situations through your power alone.  Guide us dear Lord.  -Amen.

Dear Salvation Army – The Internal Battle & 3 Prescriptions!

robin3This past August when Robin Williams died, the world was shocked.  How could someone so funny come to such a sad and horrible ending?  We really do not understand the depths of such internal battles unless we ourselves have been there.

Truths:
Just because we put on uniforms it doesn’t mean that we stop experiencing difficulties.

Just because we become a Christ-follower doesn’t mean that we stop struggling with internal battles.
depression
Some people even genetically struggle with things like depression and I would like to talk about this today.  Before you stop reading and think to yourself “this doesn’t relate to me“, perhaps you’ll reconsider because we are all in this together and you just might be able to help someone else who DOES relate to this.

A Story About Depression:
One of my Uncles, who is an Officer in the Southern Territory USA,  shared with me a story about a local Presbyterian minister in his town.  It is a sad story.  The kind of story that causes shell shocked locals to question life and death and to reconsider their preconceived notions of depression.
depression1
Apparently, this local Presbyterian minister, who had been on sabbatical from his church, committed suicide.   He ended his life.  He allowed the darkness within him to quench the light of hope.  Let that sink in for a moment.  A minister, who was deeply depressed and struggling with this difficult internal battle, ended his life.  It doesn’t matter how he did it, but that he did it.  His church and surrounding community are currently and completely devastated.  Questions have been swirling and the idea that not just any person committed suicide, but a Pastor and leader of a church committed suicide has sent his church and community whirling in disbelief.

There’s A Lesson Here:
-Everyone is susceptible to these internal battles
.-
It doesn’t matter if you’re a Presbyterian minister, a Catholic Priest or even a Salvation Army Officer or Soldier.  We still struggle in life sometimes.  We can still face things like depression.  Sometimes we’re very good at hiding it too.  Sometimes we’re so good that we even convince ourselves that nothing is wrong when something is very wrong within us.  We sometimes compartmentalize these struggles and convince ourselves that someone else is to blame or the situation at hand is to blame when the battle is truly internal.  Instead of beating ourselves up over feeling this way, we need to reach out for help.

The Misnomers Of Depression:
We can often look at these internal battles as weaknesses and something to be embarrassed about.  If you’re struggling right now or know someone who is, please don’t be embarrassed or make that person feel embarrassed.  Don’t think for a minute that you are less valuable because of the internal struggles you are facing.  Don’t think for a minute that no one will understand.  Don’t think for a minute that you are all alone in these dark days.  Don’t buy into the lie that you must be weaker than other because you are struggling.

Another misnomer with depression is the idea that if I deny it exists (that I’m depressed)  I will be fine.  Have you ever shaken up a carbonated soda and then opened up the top?  What happens?  The bottled up carbonated soda explodes from the container doesn’t it?  In the same way that bottle can’t hold the shaken contents, so too our bodies and minds aren’t equipped to hold everything in either.  We have to let these struggles and abscesses of the heart and soul out of us.  We can’t avoid them…they won’t simply go away.  We could do more harm to ourselves if we just let them fester within us without releasing them.

Prescriptions:rx
Here are three prescriptions, dear soldier, to help us conquer and win these internal battles  –

1) Seek Professional Help!
It is a sign of strength, not weakness to receive help from a counselor, pastor, or professional psychologist.  Get over the misconception that it is wrong to talk about your struggles.  Seeking out help is the first step to having victory over that internal battle!  Don’t be afraid to ask for help!  When we have someone else on board with us helping us find hope and joy again we can also find healing.

accountability12) Seek Accountability
This might go hand in hand with #1…but it goes further.  Do you have a friend in whom you can confide?  Are there trusted people in your life who can listen but also be honest with you?  Don’t seek out just anyone or even someone who agree with everything you say.  Find someone who will challenge you, be honest with you and will keep you accountable.  Seek out a fellow brother or sister in Christ who can pray with you and help shoulder your heavy burdens.  Accountability helps relieve some of these internal struggles.  Depression is worse when dealt with alone…remember that!

3) Find Rest And Activitiesrest1
We need our rest to replenish our physical and emotional reserves.  Officers and soldiers are ever in the fray of this mission field, but even soldiers and officers need hobbies and rest!  Make sure you find some “Me” time.  This isn’t selfish this is self-preservation.  What good will you be if you are spent and worn through and through?  Make sure you find things to do outside your mission field sometimes.  Get sufficient rest, take time to reconnect and rejuvenate.

These are just three crucial prescriptions.  There are more, but doing these three things will help in your journey to victory over your internal battles.  Don’t quit.  Don’t think for a moment that you are alone.  You are loved.  You are needed.  You are important!

If we are to be healthy Soldiers and Officers, we must first be honest with ourselves and be willing to do a little soul-care from time to time.  These internal battles won’t just go away if we just ignore them, we must confront them and in that confronting we can find healing and recovery!

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” -Proverbs 4:23

Something more for our Army world to ponder today!
To God Be The Glory…and remember, You are NOT alone!!

Are you restless? (confronting restlessness)

Don’t be ashamed to admit it. Being restless can be a real motivator to get on with something that you’ve been putting off for years. It is the belief of many that after the close of a year and the beginning of a new one this sense of restlessness increases in frequency in the population of our country. But let me ask the important question…why? Why do we experience such feelings of uneasiness, discontent and restlessness? Sometimes this occurs all at once, and other times these feelings incrementally increase, building until sleepless night occur, stress is induced and we find ourselves questioning our occupations, general happiness and a other facets of our lives. If left unchecked this once innocuous emotion can rule our lives leading us into depression and in the need of professional counseling.

So why does restlessness occur?
Here are a couple of reasons:

1) Complacency (An Internal Struggle): just living to get by isn’t living at all. Sometimes as humans we settle into a comfortable routine, and what I’ve learned in life about routines is that if there isn’t an element of challenge attached to those routines what begins to form is uneasiness, then restlessness soon takes its place and either it spurs one to change or an emotion of lost identity ensues taking the individual into depression. Complacency is dangerous, its more than pure laziness its in a real sense a relinquishing of humanity, in other words its giving up and assuming an apathetic response to all areas of living.

The Remedy:
Change your routine. Find things to challenge you. Read books that not only encourages but pushes you to live better, healthier lives both physically and spiritually.

2) Disillusionment (An External source) Perhaps its in your work place and or your boss/employer. Perhaps its found in your financial state, you feel slighted or wronged. Maybe its in your government, or local communities.

Disillusionment can cause us to assume an identity of restlessness out of our own sense of injustice or betrayal. We feel nothing we can do will change our circumstances because we have no power to change anything in “our world” and our environment. Discontent gives way again to restlessness and soon we are in that apathetic response to the world us and we just don’t care anymore.

The Remedy: Perhaps a different line of work. I realize the economy and current market doesn’t bode well for this suggestion, but a sense of ownership can renew our world view and our role in it. Self worth is attached to our sense of achievement whether we like it or not. If we don’t feel we can contribute to a specific problem or challenge the natural instinct is to withdraw from that problem and our powerless view of ourselves only lends itself to furthering this sense of restlessness.

Another remedy would be to focus on problems or challenges that you can change or accomplish something positive. Sometimes we have this grandiose idea that we can change the world and so we attempt to take on more than we are capable of at that time…its also known as “biting off more than you can chew”. Instead we need to focus on the smaller victories and take smaller bites, so to speak. This is an incremental change in our world view, life is a journey that requires us to pace ourselves like a marathon instead of a sprint.

Are you restless at the start of 2013? Is it an internal type of restlessness, or an external type? Sometimes it can be both too. These are just a few remedy’s that are common sense and maybe will eliminate that restless spirit in you. It is understood that there are more ways to confront and address restlessness…these are just a few suggestions.

Lastly: take a vacation, get away for a weekend, or sleep a little more. Try eating a low fat diet, and exercise which has been known to increase the “good” emotions firing in your brain. Realize that restlessness relates to both your physical body as well as your emotional and spiritual side as well.

Where ever you are today, I hope that you may find rest.

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