A Note from God (A poem)

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When the light is sucked from your eyes 

and terror is masked as hope disguised 

I will hold your hand and bring the day

I will hope when your earth gives way. 

 

When dreams become hollowed and cold

and you are left with nothing to hold

I will hold you within my loving arms 

I will keep you from fear and harm.

 

And if you falter and lose all sight

I will be there to shine my light

and ignite your faith with my grace 

so that my love you will embrace. 

 

I have never left you, I am here 

I will help and dry  your tears 

These nail scarred hands will guide you there

I am Your Savior I will always care!  

The Waters of Faith and Fear – Find Jesus there!

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I’ve been looking at the painting.  I’m mesmerized by it.  Have you ever studied a painting?  Have you looked closely at the details?  The brush strokes?  The unspoken drama captured in a mere moment?  Look at the waves, how they list back and forth, how they swell to a crescendo and fall back down again.  It’s almost as if you can watch them in their lunar symphonic dance.  As I look into this painting I see so much of me.  I see evidence of my doubt, evidence of my fears and evidence of my lack of strength.  I see me drowning there, not just Peter.  I see what could happen if I fall down into the depths of this flowing tide.  The water filling up my lungs.  The panicked shock becoming reality.  My feeble life flashing before my eyes.  I can imagine it…can you?

 As I look at this painting, a story we’ve all heard before while sitting in those stiff backed, wood-oil scented pews that creak when you shift positions…the story of Peter walking on the water with Jesus.  We’ve heard the details of this story.  How Peter saw Jesus walking towards them and cried out to Him, “Lord if it is really you call me to come out there with you…and Jesus said ‘Come'” (Matthew 14:22-33).   So Peter gets out of the boat and starts walking towards Jesus on the water.  You see we often stop here in this story and think to ourselves “wait for the ‘but'” and we call this Peter’s doubting moment because he looked down, because he became frightened, because he took his eyes off of Jesus.  But what we often fail to look at within this story and it’s evident in this painting is that Peter got out of the boat…but where were the rest of the disciples?  Where did they remain?  In the boat.  If we look real closely they are way off in the foreground standing in the boat safe and sound but did they believe as Peter had?  Did they climb out of the boat with him?  No.  

Another thing that really hits home to me that is portrayed in this painting is the juxtaposition of his friends and peers in the boat as opposed to where Peter is located.  No, not just because of their doubt but because of their distance.  When Peter needed his friends and his peers the most they were too far away to help him.  He was well out of their reach to throw any kind of life saving device towards his sinking soul.  As I stare into this painting I begin to understand something that I didn’t before.  Perhaps I knew it to be true, but only in the back of my mind.  Here’s the truth:  Our friends, comrades in arms, loved ones and peers cannot save us all of the time.  There are times when faith takes us out further than perhaps others are willing or called to go.  Faith takes us into deeper waters where we have to find out for ourselves that not only is our strength not enough but our faith must be increased so that Jesus can save us.  It’s not about being better than our friends or our loved ones, it’s not about being more holy but God calls each of us to different waters.  So when we step out of our boats as Peter did we will find ourselves at times to be all alone on those waters without the support of other believers near us.  

Staring again at this painting I am struck by how the painter illustrates the expression that Jesus has on his face.  If someone lets you down what might your expression be? One of disappointment?  One of anger?  One of dismay?  To me, Jesus doesn’t seem to have any of these expressions on His face.  Instead He appears concerned, lovely so as He stoops down to pluck Peter from the depths.  Notice too that Jesus doesn’t grasp onto Peter’s slipper, wet fingers.  Instead He grasps Peter by the wrist.  What this says to me is that Jesus knows.  He knows that Peter can’t pull himself up out of these circumstances.  He knows that Peter’s strength have given way to doubt, shock and fear.  Jesus knows and so He pulls Peter up by his wrist and in so saying ‘My strength is enough, let me be your salvation’.  

I am Peter in the waters from time to time.  I am being choked by the lapping waters as I gasp for another breath.  I am given over to fears and doubts and I cannot save myself.  I look for my friends and for my peers but they are too far from me.  Yet Jesus is there willing and able to rescue me…again.  He grasps onto my wrist and says to me ‘My love, my strength, my courage, my grace, my hope…is enough!’  

Today I don’t know what kind of waters you’re walking on in faith, but I do know one thing Jesus is there!  Though our faith may take us out deeper than we’ve ever gone before, though we find it difficult or impossible to walk alone…Jesus is there!  Trust Him today!  Trust His strength.  Trust that He will never abandon you or be too far away to rescue you.  When you find yourself far from the saving mercies of other Christians, look up and find the One who has paid it all grasping onto your wrist and saving you through His strength and grace. 

 

 

“Anything to Declare?”

You just have to get rid of so much baggage to be light enough to dance, to sing, to play. You don’t have time to carry grudges; you don’t have time to cling to the need to be right.”  – Anne Lamott

 “There’s a luggage limit to every passenger on a flight. The same rules apply to your life. You must eliminate some baggage before you can fly.”  – Rosalind Johnson  

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Do you have anything to declare?”  This is commonly heard at international airports as a traveler, sometimes weary, enters their destination.  It’s a question that must be asked for safety and security purposes that I think begs answering in our lives as well.  I’ve never received a degree in counseling or psychology, but I’ve been around long enough to know that sometimes when we enter the present moment which is the doorway to the future we often are still carrying baggage from the past that prohibits us from entering and from moving on.  Baggage, which is anger, regret, hurts, fears, scars (emotional & physical) can seriously limit us and that of the potential for personal and spiritual growth if we continue to carry them with us. 

 

Jesus even alluded to these types of burdens when he said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 NIV)

What is Jesus saying here?  He is telling us to let go of our baggage!  He is saying if you learn from me you will understand that you don’t have to carry this heavy burden any longer, my way is lighter and it will free you of your past, your baggage, your worries and fears.  Jesus says to us in this passage that we ought to let go of it all…it doesn’t matter anymore…we can be free!  Wouldn’t you like to forget some things about your past?  Wouldn’t you like to let go of burdens that you’ve carried around with you for far too long?   We were never meant to heap these worries, regrets and scars around with us for the rest of our lives!  That was not God’s plan for us.  Sure from time to time we have screwed up.  Sure from time to time others have hurt us so very deeply.  Sure from time to time we find it difficult to forgive that one person who broke our heart or betrayed us…yet that’s precisely what Jesus is asking us to do.  He wants us to leave our past behind.  He wants us to lay it down at His feet and for us to allow Him to help us. 

I don’t presume to understand how God’s grace works, but I do know that it does.  By faith, daily I must once again surrender my past to Him.  I know that from time to time that even Satan will try and remind me of those things from my past.  He will try to discourage me and persuade me that I really haven’t changed…and yet when I seek the Lord, when I read His word God shows me just how far I’ve come.  The same is true for you as well.  You can let go.  You will be free.  The answers to healing your past and restoring your future lies with the One that made you, not the ones that have hurt you, or the situations that you fiercely regret.   

The Lord is asking us today; “Do you have anything to declare?”  If we are wise we will declare everything to Him, and allow Him to restore our present and future by letting go of the baggage that weighs us down and holds us back.  Don’t let your past dictate where you go today or tomorrow!  You and I can be free…but first we must confront and let go of the baggage. 

There’s an old prayer chorus our church used to sing and it goes like this:

“Burdens are lifted at Calvary, Calvary, Calvary, Burdens are lifted at Calvary…Jesus is very near!”       Jesus wants to be near to you today, He wants to lift your burdens, your baggage from you…will you let Him?

Prayer:

Lord I have been carrying around this baggage from my past for far too long and it is weighing me down.  This baggage is holding me back from growing in your grace.  Help me to surrender it all to you today!  I know that it may not happen all at once, but grant me your strength to surrender it all to you!  I want to learn from you, I want that freedom that only you can offer.  Thank you Lord for guiding me and for being here with me each step of the way.  –Amen.

The Sentinel (Poem)

His mother,

Like a sentinel

Watches over him

Catching each breath

With her eyes

Never growing weary

of seeing him sleep…

each inflation of the lungs

and exhaling only to repeat again-

a gift, a treasured hope!

With wings unfurled,

alabaster gleaming

In the soft moonlit room,

So that while the darkness

creeps and leans in

with its shadows

she knows how to pull

him in and hold him close

again.

There will be no rest

this night as the sentinel

watches, waits, anticipates

never closing her eyes

for but a second,

lending all of her strength

to the dreaming toddler

at her side.

Such love.

An example, a reflected

beauty from the heavens…

As if God himself were there

Holding fast to the night,

holding shadows and its

Darkness away…

A sentinel, a rock

a safe harbor for those

seeking refuge in the darkness. 

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Burn the Ships!

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The smell of smoke fills the nostrils and tears up the eyes.  The view on the beach is disturbing, the ships are on fire as the smoke coats the air and blocks out the sun at mid-day.  A sense of panic strikes at the heart of the sailors now marooned on this foreign soil.  Soon, realization will set in.  To find their way home, they have to move forward. 

 

Infamous conquistador Hernando Corte’s is well known for his brutality when conquering and claiming the Aztec lands for Spain.  He will forever go down in the annals of history as a conqueror that nearly wiped out an entire civilization in his day, but there is one saving act of leadership that begs to be examined.  When Cortes’ ships landed in the new world, to prevent mutiny he ordered his ships burned and sunk.  Imagine for a second being a sailor on one of those vessels and upon landing in this foreign environment your leader burns the only mode of transportation home.  Your world comes crashing in, and the only way home is forward without retreat.  It’s forward and never backward.

 

In a very practical sense, we ought to consider burning the vessels of doubt that reside within our faith in God.  These modes of transportation will only move us backwards into our old sinful lives instead of transporting us forward into a deeper relationship with our Father in Heaven.   Burning the ships of doubt has a motivational value that boldly declares that our purpose and our faith is all or nothing.   As an Ambassador for Christ in this world, there is no escape route or exit plan to abandon the cause of Christ!  We are either all or nothing; doubt can’t exist in the same place as our faith. 

 

If we have doubt and fear present, perhaps it’s time to burn the ships.  One might argue that fear is a part of our faith, rightly so…but it ought to be the fear (reverence) of the Lord not the fear of what the world might do to us within this cause for Christ!  These two types of fear are different.  Doubt on the other hand is something Jesus even confronts His disciples on… “Oh you of little faith, why did you doubt?” (Matthew 8:26)   

 

Burn the ships…move forward in your faith and trust in the Lord for guidance, protection and strength!  He will never leave us or forsake us! (Deut. 31:6) 

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Early Morning Fears

It’s five o clock in the morning

a small pajamaed body

creeps into our bed

silent as a shadow

shaking like a leaf

in the fall

dreams had turned

and now he churns

next to me,

breathing heavy on my neck

heating these old bones

forgetting how it used to be

when everything is possible

and nothing too hard to fathom

it’s five o clock in the morning

and we wake to encompass

our young soul with love

to help him brave through

the nightmares of tomorrow

…this too shall pass.

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