Fidelity & Infidelity in the Christian world.

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This is a very sensitive topic, I know.

I don’t know the effects of infidelity (thankfully) first hand, nor am I about to make a broad brush stroke and lump other marital issues such as physical or substance abuse in with unfaithfulness.  Let me be clear, my primary purpose in writing on this topic is strictly to confront areas of sinful unfaithfulness within the sacred partnership of marriage within the “Christian Church”.

Brothers and sisters in Christ, this ought not be.  I do want to be sensitive with extemporaneous issues which might lead to such a betrayal, but in many cases Christians who are facing these types of issues in their marriage really need to consult professional marriage counseling before it gets worse.

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If we can learn anything from the story of Hosea and his marriage to Gomer (which was a metaphor for the sacred yet broken Covenant relationship God had with His people) we should learn just how serious a partnership the marriage relationship was and still is today.  After all, even the Apostle Paul wrote of the marriage relationship in Ephesians 5:22-33, and the main focal point in those verses center on resembling how Christ’s love is bestowed and poured out upon His bride the Church.

Husbands and wives, when you make that solemn commitment and say “I do” you are committing to that person FOR LIFE!  This isn’t some kind of two year cell phone commitment, where, after two years, you can upgrade to a different model.  This is why it is so crucial to get to know your “bride-to-be” or “groom-to-be” before you make that life long commitment!  How heart wrenching it is to watch two committed Christians split up over some elicit affair or “moment of weakness”.  Many psychologists have ascertained that a betrayal like this can be as devastating as a death in the family.   (http://www.alfredadler.edu/sites/default/files/Livingston%20MP%202012.pdf)

One of the biggest public stories recently in Hollywood is of the elicit affair Kristen Stewart had with a married man, Rupert Sanders.  Though this isn’t specifically a Christian story, the devastation that this had on both parties has ended in divorce and separation.  How horrifying it must be to discover the one you have confided in and trusted your heart and life with has betrayed you.  http://www.eonline.com/news/475712/liberty-ross-opens-up-about-husband-s-affair-with-kristen-stewart-it-was-really-the-worst

As Christian people, we are a living example of Christ to the world around us.  I believe it hurts the heart of our Lord when marriages fall apart and unfaithfulness is at its center.  Beware too…don’t ever think that you are not susceptible to such trappings of temptation!  Steer clear of these moments of weakness.  Don’t place yourself in compromising situations where you may be tempted!  Keep your allegiance not only to God but also with your spouse and life-partner!  Hebrews 13:4 Says; “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”

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Get Help!  

If you and your spouse are facing issues in your marriage, don’t be afraid to seek professional help with a Christian marriage counselor!  It is a sign of strength and not weakness that you do so.  After all, if there is something worth protecting in this life it would have to be your marriage and family?   So take the time, seek support and guidance and don’t put it on the back burner because life is “too busy” right now!   Be proactive in your marriage and don’t wait for the bags to be packed and the sofa full of pillows and blankets!

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Cherish!

Seek fidelity in your marriage, but go way beyond that!  Cherish your spouse!  Be attentive, supportive, communicative and loving!  Be selfless in your attitude towards each other instead of selfish!  Spend time with one another and perhaps plan dates away from the kids and the stresses of work!  Invest in your relationship and don’t neglect it!  If we are to be amazing representatives of Christ-like living in this world it ought to begin with cherishing and preserving our love for our spouses and family first.

Pray!

Make sure you pray for one another, both privately in your own personal devotions as well as together.  Prayer is not only our source of communication with God but it unifies and solidifies our intentions as couples.  Never stop praying for your relationship, and also pray that Christ’s love would be demonstrated in how you treat each other.

Just an important thought for all of my married brothers and sisters out there today!

I am certainly not a marriage counselor, but I recognize this very real danger in our Church today and feel I must constantly remind myself and you of how easy these temptations can turn into moments of full blown infidelity if we are not diligent and aware of their trappings.

Blessings on you and your spouse today!

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Blurred Lines

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In a word, I was too cowardly to do what I knew to be right, as I had been too cowardly to avoid doing what I knew to be wrong.” ― Charles DickensGreat Expectations

 

I am in no way endorsing or recommending a song of the same name by the singer Robin Thick.  But for just a moment in our pop tart world with its cheap, catchy beats and lyrical lines filled with double entendre our messy morals are exposed in the light.  Many people want instant gratification and pleasure without the consequences or guilt.   Yet when confronted with their choices of immoral decisions and behaviors some simply deny any wrong doing or blame someone else. 

 

We live in a blurred lined culture where right and wrongs are subjected to an individualistic and hedonistic world view.   Do you remember the prophet Hosea?  God told him to marry a prostitute named Gomer (Hosea 1:2).  Reading this passage of scripture one might proclaim shockingly, “God did what?”  God told one of his prophets, one of his faithful servants to go out and marry a woman who was a known ‘lady of the night’.   God used Hosea and his marriage to an unfaithful harlot to illustrate how adulterous his chosen people Israel had become.    

 

Israel had blurred the lines of moral, set-apart living.  They had stepped out on God.  Just think of it for a moment.  God had given himself fully to his people Israel.  His love had been poured out upon them.  He blessed them with prosperity and riches and protected them from the dangers of other encroaching cultures.  But Israel had been hell bent on their selfishness and their lusting after sin.  They had broken God’s heart again.  Just place yourself in their story for a moment.  Imagine you were the faithful spouse.  Imagine your soul mate, your beloved being in caught in unfaithful acts over and over again.  Feel the shame and the embarrassment.  Feel the hurt and gut wrenching anguish.  “How could you do such a thing?” You might exclaim; “I trusted you!”   God was fed up with Israel and their unfaithfulness.  Hosea became a living testimony of God’s love and faithfulness to red light prostitute named Gomer who illustrated Israel’s adulterous ways. 

 

‘How did Israel get to this point?’ one might ask.  Blurred lines are the answer.  When they ignored their moral compass and did what they wanted anyway it happened.  When they rationalized their sinful persuasions as ‘okay with me’ it happened.  When they settled for instant gratification that lasted for but a moment instead of an eternal kind of love it happened.  They blurred the lines of right and wrong to fit their sinfulness and corroded moral compass.   What started out as ‘innocent fun’ turned into a full blown heartless affair with other gods wrought with immoral choices and selfish acts.  They started out as a ‘set-apart’ people of God but ended as a torn apart culture wrecked people. 

 

The Danger Zone:

This danger zone doesn’t include fighter jets from an 80’s movie, but it does include us and our culture that we live in.  We live in a very media saturated world where right and wrongs are based on an individual’s sense of morality.  Where we are taught that to defend God’s word and his laws of living is considered intolerant in our society.  If this is intolerance then so be it.  I would rather have God find us faithful than find us acting like Gomer or Israel as we prostitute ourselves out in a lost and dying world.   The danger zone is the blurred lines in our world today.  Those who profess to be Christ followers ought to know better!  Those who claim Christ with their lips yet live a life contrary to their claims WATCH OUT!  God doesn’t want your ritual or your lip service…He wants you!  He wants me!  Don’t let blurred lines of loose living dilute your faith!  Don’t give that slippery slope of immoral living a second glance.  Be faithful to God.  He has set us apart for a reason.  He loves us so deeply and when we serve Him we not only display our love back to Him, but we display what a lasting love relationship with God looks like for the world to see. 

 

Don’t allow these blurred lines to blur your faith or your love relationship to God.  He wants us to live above reproach and above these influences.   2 Corinthians 5:17 – “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old (blurred lined life) has gone, the new life has come.”

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