Let it be…for now.

Sometimes logic fails

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violence prevails

life…gets lost in the details

Sadness descends 

like a thick fog 

blurring our vision 

obstruction of mission

and solitary admission 

is required.

The doldrums of the day

can never compare 

to living a peace 

despite acceptance 

often it evades us 

leaves us dejected

rejected and hopelessly 

infected with a burdened heart

could we overcome this? 

Could we find the light again? 

We fumble in the dark 

tripping over each other

sister and brother

hurting each other

can we truly overcome this? 

One day, 

one mighty 

and awesome day

this too will be but a dream

and when we wake 

the lights will be on. 

until then our little ambient 

of heart and strength 

must be enough 

so just let it be!  

Burdens, Purfume & a Woman

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Luke 7:44-48 (NIV)
44 Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45 You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. 46 You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. 47 Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven–for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.” 48 Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”

 

Jesus had been invited to a dinner party of sorts by a Pharisee name Simon.   The dinner was just underway when a woman enters the room.  She moves quickly because she understands the customs and knows if she doesn’t find Jesus first she will be met with stiff protest and quick eviction from the premises.  Kneeling behind Jesus she begins to weep, it’s an odd sight, embarrassing for the host but Jesus, the dinner guest is unfazed.  Her momentary gasps for breath amidst her tears breaks the awkward silence in the room.   Soon, her tears are flowing rapidly like a swelling river during flood season.  Her gasps increase and she is weeping openly at His feet.  As each tear falls like salty raindrops she purposely positions herself over Jesus’ feet and allows each drop to fall onto them.  His feet are still dusty from the gravely, chalky road and as the moisture from her tears gathers in the crease lines of His feet mud begins to form.   The woman bends closer allowing her long hair to touch his feet.  Reaching up she uses her hair like a cloth and proceeds to wipe the muddied feet.  Then, from her pocket in her cloak she retrieves a small jar of perfume.  The smells of food are suddenly replaced with an expensive aroma of perfume.  She pours it onto Jesus’ feet and continues to wipe away the remnants of the dust and dirt.  Her sobs are now the only sounds within the dining room. 

 

The host; Simon is shocked as the rest of those gathered guests look on in bewildered amazement.   This woman, known by the community for her tarnish reputation is at a Teacher’s feet…such things should not be, and yet Jesus does nothing to stop her.   Instead Jesus looks at Simon and tells Him a short story.   “There were two people who both owed a debt to a moneylender.  One owed five hundred silver pieces, while the other owed fifty.”  Jesus pauses as he glances from the woman back to Simon again, the light of the room reflecting in his eyes dances to the light of the flame.  “Neither one of the debtors had the resources to pay back the debt to the moneylender.” Jesus continues to say, “but a remarkable thing happens, when the moneylender realizes neither one of them could repay the debt back, he cancels the debt.”  Again Jesus glances up from the woman and looks Simon directly in the eyes again as he ask most important question Simon will hear all night, “Which of the two people owning the moneylender money will be the most thankful for the debt cancelation?”  Simon doesn’t waste any time as he responds with confidence, “I imagine the person who owed the most would be the most thankful!”  Jesus nods in agreement and looks down at the distraught woman still wiping his feet with her hair and say to Simon, “You see this woman who has disrupted your dinner party?  She comes with much to forgive, you, Simon didn’t wash my feet when I enter and here she is washing my feet now.”  Simon sits pensively as he listens.  Jesus continues, “When I entered your home you did not greet me with a kiss which is customary, yet this woman has not stopped kissing my feet since she entered the room.”  Silence falls on the room again as all who hear Jesus’ words chews on them like a piece of fatty grizzle.  “Isn’t it remarkable?” Jesus asks, “She has been forgiven for a many sins today!  She has found love and is reciprocating this great love to me even now!”  Then Jesus speaks directly to the woman for the first time with kindness and more respect than anyone in the town had ever given her and her less than perfect reputation; “Woman, your sins are forgiven…” how could such a thing be the others wonder to themselves?   “She was a sinful woman was she not?  Who was this man that can forgive sin?”  The other dinner guests and Simon, the host, murmur and grumble together.  Yet Jesus ignores them and continues to speak to the woman at His feet with love and care; He tells her, “Your faith has saved you this day, now go in peace!” 

 

What a moment for that woman!  She came seeking forgiveness, she came with such a debt that she couldn’t possibly repay, and Jesus canceled the debt and gave her life again!  Imagine the heavy burden that must have been lifted as soon as she got up from His feet?  Can’t you envision her moving a little lighter as she makes her way home?  Perhaps she sleeps heavier than she has slept in a very long time that night!  Those in her household and those that know her well would have seen a drastic change her attitude and lifestyle!  It all came about because Jesus allowed her to weep at His feet and to find forgiveness in this humbling act.  Oh that we too may kneel at His feet and find such sweet deliverance!  Whether you have much to be forgiven for or very little, seek Jesus, kneel before Him with a penitent heart and find your debts of sin canceled! 

 

 

Burdens are lifted at Calvary, Calvary, Calvary

  Burdens are lifted at Calvary, Jesus is very Near!

 

 

Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

 

 

Peeling Stickers and Gaining Freedom

I am a rubric’s cube champion! I can solve a rubric’s cube in my own time and my own method. Let me explain my method.

Many years ago I was given my first Rubric’s cube and began that very day to attempt to place each frustrating colored cube into the right sequence to match them all up. I tried turning the columns this way at that to find success..I would make a turn only to realize I have been going around and around making the same mistakes, actually repeating the same sequential turns which turn into repeated bad habits. When it was all said and done I was a stubborn fool going round and round doing the same things which were not leading me anywhere near success in solving the colored cubed problem. I recall many times tossing it aside in frustration and vowing never to pick it up again only to break that vow countless times.

I had all but given up, then I had a bright idea…it was one of the older rubic’s cube models and because it was older, the colored squares that made up the cube were actually stickers glued into place.

HERE’S WHY IM A CHAMPION:
I had this bright idea, I would solve this cube puzzle by my own methods…and so I proceeded to peel off the first sticker, then another, then another…I peeled off all of the stickers and then re-assembled the pieces until there in front me was a completed rubric’s cube puzzle all uniformly placed in color coordination. I was now a rubric’s cube champion…in my own mind that is.

Okay confession time, truth be told I admit that I cheated…but I did solve the problem, just with my own method and my own out of the box idea.

WHAT AM I TRYING TO SAY?
Life is like one big Rubric’s cube sometimes. No matter where we go, turn we take, we keep making the same mistakes and the same stubborn wrong decisions. It is said that doing the same thing over and over again is complete and utter insanity…so we must all be insane sometimes. Truth be told we live in a fallen world and we are a fallen people. The Bible teaches us this. Yet over and over again we play the game of life and think we’re on a healthy path then make decisions or encounter the consequences of prior decisions and we end up right back at the place in which we started from. Life can become utter insanity when we live like this. We go round and round, vowing to live better, make better decisions, to be good people…then our actions or our attitudes and our habitual lifestyles get the best of us once more…we become frustrated, tired, worn out, and we just want to throw our hands up and just quit.

Jesus came into this world and proved that the Law wasn’t God. Jesus came into this world and illustrated for us that the Law that people had added to and Pharisees regulated couldn’t be kept…God’s children were going round and round, making sacrifice after sacrifice in order to compensate for their habitual life style that had them going round and round in circles. Jesus came to break that cycle of sin. Jesus busted the game of sin, peeled the stickers (so to speak) off of the lives of humanity and reset them through the shedding of His blood on the cross. He set us free from the cycle and from certain death…because we could not solve this puzzle of life which is Holiness in and of ourselves.

Jesus wants to peel the stickers off of your life and reset them for you today…will you allow him to do this for you? God’s object is to free us…will you let Him?

(My apologies to those avid Rubric solvers out there…It’s just an epiphany that struck truth in my life today!)

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A basin of water and some dirty feet

 

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The Passover feast was almost upon them when it happened.  It would be something that would completely catch the disciples off guard and teach them a valuable lesson that they would never forget.    Jesus gets up from the table that He had just been sitting at with His disciples.  All eyes are on Jesus, the disciples were probably thinking to themselves, “now what?”  Then a peculiar thing happens, Jesus takes off His outer garments, wraps a towel around his waist and pours water into a basin.  At this point the disciples had to have been inquisitively looking at Jesus and probably glancing at one another as if to say; “What is He up to here?”  After the water is brimming over the basin, Jesus scoops it up and moves back toward the table again.

As He approaches his students, those who had witnessed countless wonders and miracles, He kneels down in front of them.  How strange it must have been to have witnessed such a sight.  The same Jesus, who had calmed a storm, walked on water, raised the dead to life and healed the sick, was kneeling at the feet of his pupils.  The mighty teacher, God’s one and only Son who was present at the beginning of creation, was now kneeling in front of His creation.   It boggles the mind, blows the roof off of any teaching before or since.  Jesus, Messiah, Savior of the World, kneels and begins to wash the feet of His disciples.  I wonder how Judas must have felt when Jesus looked up into his eyes and proceeded to wash his feet despite what Jesus already knew would transpire?  The room is as silent as a tomb as the disciples struggle to find words in such a solemn moment.   All is silent that is until Jesus moves onto the next disciples’ feet which just so happens to be Peter’s.  The silence is broken with a protest like a stone to a window, as Peter questions Jesus.  “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?”  Such an odd question to consider as Jesus kneels there in front of him with water at hand.  It’s a protest of sorts, there’s a hint of outrage in Peter’s voice which is inflected in his tone.  Then Jesus says to him, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” But Peter is sure he understands and he just can’t allow his Rabbi to touch his dirty feet and responds likewise, “you shall never wash my feet.”  It’s more than just honor or pride in his response; it is love and a deep profound respect for his Savior.  The very one that caught his hand as he was sinking in his failed attempt to walk on water was now desiring to apply water to feet.  This was the job of a servant and Peter considered this far beneath his Master.   Then Jesus looks Peter in the eye again and says to him, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.”  Understanding still lagging, Peter says, “then Lord wash all of me…”  But Jesus tells him that he is already clean and proceeds to drive home his point as He tells them to be a leader they must first be servants and also wash each other’s feet.

In order to follow Christ we must first be servants.  Jesus laid down His life for us and He asks us to daily serve others with the same humility that He displayed for us in moments just like this one.  To wrap the towel around our waist and wash some dirty feet, without fanfare or notoriety but simply to serve and to display His godly love to those we encounter.  This is simply amazing!  “no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17 Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.” –Luke 13:16,17

Early Morning Fears

It’s five o clock in the morning

a small pajamaed body

creeps into our bed

silent as a shadow

shaking like a leaf

in the fall

dreams had turned

and now he churns

next to me,

breathing heavy on my neck

heating these old bones

forgetting how it used to be

when everything is possible

and nothing too hard to fathom

it’s five o clock in the morning

and we wake to encompass

our young soul with love

to help him brave through

the nightmares of tomorrow

…this too shall pass.

Foolish Judges, judged by fools

True wisdom is hearing both sides of the same story and then making a judgment. Foolishness is only hearing half of the story, judging each party and then blaming others when their poor discernment leads to incorrect conclusions.

Not sure about you…but I don’t want to be a fool let a lone foolish. I’m not a fan of fickle people, or a fan of people who have judged others based on “what they know” when what they know is often times not much or not even half of the truth.

Don’t waste your time on foolish people. They aren’t worth your time or effort to impress them…at the heart of the matter, they’re not happy people anyway.

We reap what we sow…how about sowing seeds worth sowing…instead of weeds.

Patience…not just for Doctors

Patience is a virtue they say, forgive me because i seem to have missed that day when they were handing patience out. Patience has always been a struggle for me and I always jokingly say that I once prayed for patience and got four children. Interestingly enough though I consider myself to be blessed by not only my children but by this family that God has blessed me with. They put up with me and sometimes that’s saying a lot!

How are you in the patience department? Do you get bent out of shape when your food you ordered at a restaurant takes longer than expected? Do you huff and puff at the minor inconveniences of life?

One of my biggest areas of discontent and struggle in the patience department is being on time. For me I have been taught that you don’t ever show up late, you arrive early but with four kids arriving early to anything would be a miracle. I really struggle with this and find it hard to have patience in the midst of those moments.

Whatever your struggle today, patience or otherwise, it is always healthy to take a step back from time to time and look honestly at yourself. Ask yourself “Am I proud of those moment when I huff and puff at things beyond my control? Am I really proud of my behavior when I lash out or am irritable?” Of course the answer is no, so what are we going to do about our poor behavior? Do you want to change, improve your life and physical/spiritual well being? Then we have to dismantle our impatience and stop fueling the fire of our tempers. If you are at all like me, I want to change I honestly don’t want my impatience and poor handle of my emotions to rule me.

Take a hard look at your life today, don’t sugar coat it or bury it but look closely at your life and begin today to make those changes…small steps at a time! Pray to the Lord for guidance and strength to be an overcomer in your struggles. He will guide you and remain at your side through it all. What have you got to lose but to try?!

-Just a thought.

I hear your whisper on the breeze

tree fog

 

Some people will go

unnoticed

Into the veil

No condolences

Not a whisper

Just mere footprints

of their passing

Some people will leave

with nothing to remember

Them by

No postcards

Nor photographs

All but faint

Etchings in some

Solitary tree in a potter’s field

“I was here”

Their memories

Vapor on the breeze

Heading east

We catch fragments

Along the way

Mere wisps

Of conversations

The stage is bare

Floors creaking with age

In this maudlin

Production

None but God will see

Ah but perhaps

An audience of One

Perhaps Creator

Casting love down

Like roses at an encore

Perhaps this is enough

As we can no more

Pull back the veil

Of the one

Than we can for

Ourselves.

The Judas Problem

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Jesus had just dropped a bomb shell on his disciples…well all but one.  Someone in this very room would betray Him.  Just minutes before this shocking revelation the ambiance in the room had bathed everyone in euphoric celebratory mood, but now no longer.  One moment the meal was satisfying and filling the next the bitter taste of bile and anger shattered all hope of joy and mirth.  “How can this be?”; they must have wondered.  Still others probably looked from one face to the next considering who it might be.  Could this be true?  Why would someone betray the Lord, let alone a disciple?  As each heart sunk , one in particular panicked   Judas, must have thought to himself, “well I’ve been found out, surely Jesus is going to reveal who it is and I will have to make a run for it”.  Afterall, though Judas loved money, he hadn’t really done it for the money.  Jesus was taking a long time in declaring himself Messiah, in Judas’ eyes he needed a little push and then all the chips would fall into place.  The people would then see that there was hope of revolution in Israel and freedom from Roman oppression.  At least that’s what Judas hoped would take place once Jesus’ secret was revealed.  But was it really a secret?  Hadn’t Jesus revealed who he was countless times through miracles and even through his own words?  Yet Judas was convinced that this time things would become crystal clear for those in Jerusalem.  Preparing his heart for this ‘betrayal’ was no easy feat, yet in his eyes it had to be done.  What was a little sacrifice for freedom or for being the one to reveal Messiah to the masses?

As Judas got up from the table, he couldn’t quite force himself to look his Teacher in the eyes.  A passing glance as he left the room revealed to Judas that there was disappointment on Jesus’ face.  As Judas then made his way out of the home that they were dining he must have told himself over and over again that he was doing the ‘right’ thing .  With this twisted conviction in his mind, he went and sought out the teachers of the law who would promise payment upon delivery.

Judas, at first must have thought that he could control the outcome, make a scene after Jesus’ arrest and force Jesus to declare himself King with His power as Messiah.  Afterall Judas had witnessed that power over a stormy sea and had seen many people healed with mere words from Jesus or a single touch.  Taking power and assuming His rightful place as King of Israel wouldn’t be that difficult.  All Judas had to do was force his hand…and force he did, but the outcome left Judas distraught and utterly demoralized.  Things had not gone according to plan.  He had assumed that they would hold a trial in public during the day, but that very night an illegal trial had taken place.  Judas also assumed that Jesus would defend his claim with power and might, but seemingly like a sheep to the slaughter Jesus was silent at first and even meek when He finally responded to their questions of His lineage as Son of God.  Again he knew he had made the wrong choice when the crowd, prompted by the Pharisees cried out for Barnabas rather than see an innocent man released.  Judas knew his plan had failed, and this very large gamble was going to leave him broke.  When Jesus was sentenced to death, Judas lost all hope of any kind of reprieve from this awful decision of betrayal.  Those thirty pieces of silver in his pouch seemed to weigh heavily on his conscience and in his coat pocket.  They almost seemed to cry out into his ear “this is how much your teacher’s life was worth to you?”

As bitterness and regret took the place of schemeing and plotting, Judas was left with nothing but emptiness inside his heart.  Nothing had gone according to plan and now having to face the consequences of his choice, Judas hated what he had become.  Standing in the light of his own guilt and shame Judas felt as if there was nothing left to live for.  All hope was gone.  Judas took out the thirty pieces of silver, blood money that he had been given for his part in the betrayal and threw it in the temple.  Feeling empty, broken and alone compiled with the remorse that he felt – there was no hope of salvation anymore for him – or so he thought.  He would end it…and end it he did by hanging himself.

Such a Shakespearean tale wrought with love, plotting, betrayal and an ending that leaves you wondering what might have been?
Yet we know often that perhaps there are still moments in our lives when we have betrayed Jesus.  When we have held our thirty pieces of silver in our hands and tossed a kiss Jesus’ way.  We might want to quickly condemn Judas for his actions, and rightly so, but we’ve all been Judas one time or another.  The only difference that I hope we can declare here is that we have been redeemed, that we yet have hope and that our lives are no longer cold and empty.  Though we can identify with our shortcomings in our faith and with our relationship to Jesus, He still comes back to us and says I love you…do you love me?   May our response to Jesus be one of love and victory because we were once lost but now Jesus has found us again.  That, my friends is an Amazing grace!
Happy Easter to you all!

birthday gifts and yellowed pages

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I received a book

today

this my birthday

From a forgotten poet

He wasn’t famous,

 nor well known

the pages are yellowed

with age

 old and dusty

it smells like

mildew, library shelves

And wood varnish  

these pages

life is poured out

essence of heart

Etched with grace

Like sunrises on

Bright blue mornings

Crisp in spring time breezes

It was said also

Samuel Clemens

Was born with the rise

Of Haley’s comet

And passed it again

At the closing

Such a final chapter

Isn’t in this book

But only spoken

In whisper

Too loudly

Like creaking pews

In church

I wished I could have

Met them both

Yet still might

They be heard

If one listens hard

Enough

On waning breezes

And in the scent

Mildew, library shelves

And wood varnish

Thank you

For unread

chapters.

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