This is Holiness (A Poem)

I want to be something
I am not quite yet.
Something more
Something better
than I am now.
I wipe my
guilt riddled brow…
not that I am wretched
or maybe I am…
Still there is this
longing
deep
within
my Heart.
It drives me
propels me constantly
forward
call it passion
call it charisma
call it a compulsion
to become who I was made to be…

Can’t you see,

there is something more…

something deeper than
all of this.
It’s like a handshake                                                                              instead of a kiss
a ‘like’ instead of LOVE

But God blew the doors open
when Jesus was sent
from above…

I am pardoned

once condemned…
no longer hemmed into
this death sentence

cornered because these wages
of sin weighed

heavily on me.
Instead,

I am free.
And in this freedom
in this perfect light 
  I now can see
with heavenly sight
from broken and shattered
to a pardoning matter
a redemption
a promise
and now…                                I want to be
           more

than this.

I was the one 
who kissed His cheek

i was the one
who denied His name  
I was the one
who played sin’s game

But now…

now, I want to soak up

His presence
to capture…………………………………………….this essence
of holiness inside this
pardoned heart.

Now I find the chains

are not gone

and the day has
dawned on this fire to burn
me into His reflection 
so that before the Father
no sin can be detected
and love has intersected
with one lost and now found.
I am ready.
I am ready to be more
to live more
to become
even Christ on a cross.