It’s five o clock in the morning
a small pajamaed body
creeps into our bed
silent as a shadow
shaking like a leaf
in the fall
dreams had turned
and now he churns
next to me,
breathing heavy on my neck
heating these old bones
forgetting how it used to be
when everything is possible
and nothing too hard to fathom
it’s five o clock in the morning
and we wake to encompass
our young soul with love
to help him brave through
the nightmares of tomorrow
…this too shall pass.
True wisdom is hearing both sides of the same story and then making a judgment. Foolishness is only hearing half of the story, judging each party and then blaming others when their poor discernment leads to incorrect conclusions.
Not sure about you…but I don’t want to be a fool let a lone foolish. I’m not a fan of fickle people, or a fan of people who have judged others based on “what they know” when what they know is often times not much or not even half of the truth.
Don’t waste your time on foolish people. They aren’t worth your time or effort to impress them…at the heart of the matter, they’re not happy people anyway.
We reap what we sow…how about sowing seeds worth sowing…instead of weeds.
Patience is a virtue they say, forgive me because i seem to have missed that day when they were handing patience out. Patience has always been a struggle for me and I always jokingly say that I once prayed for patience and got four children. Interestingly enough though I consider myself to be blessed by not only my children but by this family that God has blessed me with. They put up with me and sometimes that’s saying a lot!
How are you in the patience department? Do you get bent out of shape when your food you ordered at a restaurant takes longer than expected? Do you huff and puff at the minor inconveniences of life?
One of my biggest areas of discontent and struggle in the patience department is being on time. For me I have been taught that you don’t ever show up late, you arrive early but with four kids arriving early to anything would be a miracle. I really struggle with this and find it hard to have patience in the midst of those moments.
Whatever your struggle today, patience or otherwise, it is always healthy to take a step back from time to time and look honestly at yourself. Ask yourself “Am I proud of those moment when I huff and puff at things beyond my control? Am I really proud of my behavior when I lash out or am irritable?” Of course the answer is no, so what are we going to do about our poor behavior? Do you want to change, improve your life and physical/spiritual well being? Then we have to dismantle our impatience and stop fueling the fire of our tempers. If you are at all like me, I want to change I honestly don’t want my impatience and poor handle of my emotions to rule me.
Take a hard look at your life today, don’t sugar coat it or bury it but look closely at your life and begin today to make those changes…small steps at a time! Pray to the Lord for guidance and strength to be an overcomer in your struggles. He will guide you and remain at your side through it all. What have you got to lose but to try?!
-Just a thought.
Some people will go
unnoticed
Into the veil
No condolences
Not a whisper
Just mere footprints
of their passing
Some people will leave
with nothing to remember
Them by
No postcards
Nor photographs
All but faint
Etchings in some
Solitary tree in a potter’s field
“I was here”
Their memories
Vapor on the breeze
Heading east
We catch fragments
Along the way
Mere wisps
Of conversations
The stage is bare
Floors creaking with age
In this maudlin
Production
None but God will see
Ah but perhaps
An audience of One
Perhaps Creator
Casting love down
Like roses at an encore
Perhaps this is enough
As we can no more
Pull back the veil
Of the one
Than we can for
Ourselves.
Jesus had just dropped a bomb shell on his disciples…well all but one. Someone in this very room would betray Him. Just minutes before this shocking revelation the ambiance in the room had bathed everyone in euphoric celebratory mood, but now no longer. One moment the meal was satisfying and filling the next the bitter taste of bile and anger shattered all hope of joy and mirth. “How can this be?”; they must have wondered. Still others probably looked from one face to the next considering who it might be. Could this be true? Why would someone betray the Lord, let alone a disciple? As each heart sunk , one in particular panicked Judas, must have thought to himself, “well I’ve been found out, surely Jesus is going to reveal who it is and I will have to make a run for it”. Afterall, though Judas loved money, he hadn’t really done it for the money. Jesus was taking a long time in declaring himself Messiah, in Judas’ eyes he needed a little push and then all the chips would fall into place. The people would then see that there was hope of revolution in Israel and freedom from Roman oppression. At least that’s what Judas hoped would take place once Jesus’ secret was revealed. But was it really a secret? Hadn’t Jesus revealed who he was countless times through miracles and even through his own words? Yet Judas was convinced that this time things would become crystal clear for those in Jerusalem. Preparing his heart for this ‘betrayal’ was no easy feat, yet in his eyes it had to be done. What was a little sacrifice for freedom or for being the one to reveal Messiah to the masses?
As Judas got up from the table, he couldn’t quite force himself to look his Teacher in the eyes. A passing glance as he left the room revealed to Judas that there was disappointment on Jesus’ face. As Judas then made his way out of the home that they were dining he must have told himself over and over again that he was doing the ‘right’ thing . With this twisted conviction in his mind, he went and sought out the teachers of the law who would promise payment upon delivery.
Judas, at first must have thought that he could control the outcome, make a scene after Jesus’ arrest and force Jesus to declare himself King with His power as Messiah. Afterall Judas had witnessed that power over a stormy sea and had seen many people healed with mere words from Jesus or a single touch. Taking power and assuming His rightful place as King of Israel wouldn’t be that difficult. All Judas had to do was force his hand…and force he did, but the outcome left Judas distraught and utterly demoralized. Things had not gone according to plan. He had assumed that they would hold a trial in public during the day, but that very night an illegal trial had taken place. Judas also assumed that Jesus would defend his claim with power and might, but seemingly like a sheep to the slaughter Jesus was silent at first and even meek when He finally responded to their questions of His lineage as Son of God. Again he knew he had made the wrong choice when the crowd, prompted by the Pharisees cried out for Barnabas rather than see an innocent man released. Judas knew his plan had failed, and this very large gamble was going to leave him broke. When Jesus was sentenced to death, Judas lost all hope of any kind of reprieve from this awful decision of betrayal. Those thirty pieces of silver in his pouch seemed to weigh heavily on his conscience and in his coat pocket. They almost seemed to cry out into his ear “this is how much your teacher’s life was worth to you?”
As bitterness and regret took the place of schemeing and plotting, Judas was left with nothing but emptiness inside his heart. Nothing had gone according to plan and now having to face the consequences of his choice, Judas hated what he had become. Standing in the light of his own guilt and shame Judas felt as if there was nothing left to live for. All hope was gone. Judas took out the thirty pieces of silver, blood money that he had been given for his part in the betrayal and threw it in the temple. Feeling empty, broken and alone compiled with the remorse that he felt – there was no hope of salvation anymore for him – or so he thought. He would end it…and end it he did by hanging himself.
Such a Shakespearean tale wrought with love, plotting, betrayal and an ending that leaves you wondering what might have been?
Yet we know often that perhaps there are still moments in our lives when we have betrayed Jesus. When we have held our thirty pieces of silver in our hands and tossed a kiss Jesus’ way. We might want to quickly condemn Judas for his actions, and rightly so, but we’ve all been Judas one time or another. The only difference that I hope we can declare here is that we have been redeemed, that we yet have hope and that our lives are no longer cold and empty. Though we can identify with our shortcomings in our faith and with our relationship to Jesus, He still comes back to us and says I love you…do you love me? May our response to Jesus be one of love and victory because we were once lost but now Jesus has found us again. That, my friends is an Amazing grace!
Happy Easter to you all!
I received a book
today
this my birthday
From a forgotten poet
He wasn’t famous,
nor well known
the pages are yellowed
with age
old and dusty
it smells like
mildew, library shelves
And wood varnish
these pages
life is poured out
essence of heart
Etched with grace
Like sunrises on
Bright blue mornings
Crisp in spring time breezes
It was said also
Samuel Clemens
Was born with the rise
Of Haley’s comet
And passed it again
At the closing
Such a final chapter
Isn’t in this book
But only spoken
In whisper
Too loudly
Like creaking pews
In church
I wished I could have
Met them both
Yet still might
They be heard
If one listens hard
Enough
On waning breezes
And in the scent
Mildew, library shelves
And wood varnish
Thank you
For unread
chapters.
Do you have a favorite book? There are some stories that once we’ve read stick with us in our hearts and minds forever. Some favorite books sit on bookshelves, barely collecting dust, begging to be re-read simply because these tales evoke in us hope, adventure and a plethora of other emotions. Sometimes re-reading a book provides comfort or reassurance in difficult times, while others provide joy deep within the very fabric of who we are. In my bookshelf are a number of these such books, one in particular is so worn out from use that the hardcover binding finally gave way one day and I reluctantly grabbed a roll of duct tape and re-bound the cover to the contents therein. Yes, it was a desperate attempt to save something that I treasure, one might ask, “why didn’t you just repurchase the book and lay the old one to rest?” The answer is simple, this is my book, I have held it in my hands on countless evening, perched on various couches and chairs and poured over every word, phrase and punctuation mark. There are stains on the cover, pages with dog-ears and, though I am ashamed to admit it, fingerprint smudges on words because a good book requires the occasional good snack to accompany it.
Within the pages of this very well worn, tattered book, is a story that calls to the child in me every time I pick it up. As I read from its pages, this child, with big eyes of surprise and bewilderment, reconnects with the adventure and I am once again transported back into a land far away with characters that I have grown to love as if they actually live and breathe.
Isn’t it amazing that there is such power with words on pages in a book? It has been said that the pen is mightier than the sword, and I would emphatically and wholeheartedly agree! Writers throughout the ages have written powerful things upon pages. For some, these writings brought worldwide success and their books became classics, highly touted as ‘ahead of their time’ or an ‘inspiration for all ages’. Still there are other writers have written books and documents in times of great darkness, and their convictions upon pages stirred their generation into revolution and war. Some writers faced prison sentences, work camps, while others were executed for their beliefs. Yes, there is great power in words!
John 1:1-2 (NKJV)
1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
2 He was in the beginning with God.
The greatest book ever written is a collection of smaller books written by numerous authors. But its one centralized theme is captured through the love of God for His creation – human kind, and His desire for us to be reconciled to Him again through the once for all sacrifice of His son Jesus Christ. This book is called the Bible…and though written thousands of years ago, it still has the capacity to transform lives, restore broken hearts, and heal the spiritually sick. The word of God, as described in the gospel of John, has been around since the very beginning of time. God spoke the heavens and the earth into being merely by using words. When people refer to the Bible, they often call it God-breathed, implying that God’s hand has inspired and directed its writers to create these holy texts (emphasis on create). Truly the pen is mightier than the sword, but who created the pen? God has not only spoken us and everything around us into being through words, but we, as His creation have been given that inspiration to create just as He is our creator. Is it no wonder then that such great masterpieces of art, literature, and science still abound in our world today? After all we are made in God’s image and His attributes, though marred in us, still shine through in inspiration and in creativity. There are some whose creativity just oozes out of every pore…everything they touch just seems to produce quality art or literature. While in most of us that creativity drips slowly like a faucet in need of a new washer; we will have moments of frustrating blank pages and canvas’, uninspired failures which threaten to force our hands to reach for the white flag of surrender. Yet, when those moments of inspiration do come, may we unequivocally submerge ourselves into that frightening current of creativity that is God breathed! When we do so, we take a leap of faith, we take a risk, and though we cannot foresee the outcome we step boldly into the fray. Why? Why would we do something reckless and unsafe? It is because God, in all of His glory will not leave us or forsake us, and when we collect our courage and reaffirm this truth, we find ourselves daring to risk more for Him.
Isn’t it funny though, how often times we are so excited to pick up our favorite book from our bookshelf and read it with reckless abandon and yet we fail to pick up the very Word of God? Sometimes, if we were honest with ourselves our excuses would sound like this; “I know all the stories and all the teachings in the Bible, why should I read it anymore except on Sundays?” What we’re saying is God’s inspiration is limited to what I already know about Him…as if we have figured out all there is to know about God and the Bible. Other excuses we’ve used from time to time might range from, “It’s just so boring” to “I don’t get it”. But those were not the words of Brother Yun, a new convert to Christianity in communist China! He lived in a place where owning a Bible could get you and your whole family beaten and even sent to prison. The Word of God was prohibited in his country and yet that didn’t stop him from risking much in prayer and fasting in order to receive a copy of the Bible. His story is miraculous and wondrous, and should inspire us all to possess even a small portion of this man’s faith. Here is a brief excerpt of his how Brother Yun miraculously received his Bible:
“The old pastor simply told me, “The Bible is a heavenly book. If you want one, you’ll need to pray to the God of heaven…When I returned home I brought a stone into my room and knelt down on it every evening for prayer. I had just one simple prayer: “Lord please give me a Bible. Amen.” At that time I didn’t know how to pray, but I continued for more than one month. Nothing happened. A Bible didn’t appear. I went back to that pastor’s house again. This time I went alone. I told him, “I’ve prayed to God according to your instructions, but I still haven’t received the Bible I want so much. Please, please show me your Bible. Just a glance and I will be satisfied! I don’t need to touch it. You hold it and I will be content just to look at it. If I could copy down some of the words I will return home happy.” …(Later)…In the vision the old man took a red bag of bread from his trolley and asked his two servants to give it to me. He said, “You must eat it immediately.” I opened the wrapping, and say there was a bun of fresh bread inside. When I put the bun in my mouth, it instantly turned into a Bible! Immediately, in my vision, I knelt down with my Bible and cried out to the Lord in thanksgiving, “Lord, your name is worthy to be praised! You didn’t despise my prayer. You allowed me to receive this Bible. I want to serve you for the rest of my life.” I woke up and started searching the house for the Bible. …Suddenly I heard a faint knock at the door. A very gentle voice called my name. I rushed over and asked through the locked door, “Are you bringing the bread to me?” The gentle voice replied, “Yes, we have a bread feast to give you.” I immediately recognized the voice as the same one I had heard in the vision. I quickly opened the door and there standing before me were the same two servants I had seen in the vision. ..My heart raced as I opened the bag and held in my hands my very own Bible!” (The Heavenly Man, p. 27-30)
Perhaps it’s humbling to read of this experience. When reading it for the first time, it brought me to tears. At the same time it made me ashamed of how I had treated my Bible. It isn’t illegal to own one in my country yet these comforts all around me sometimes negate, in my own mind, the need for daily spiritual nourishment. Why do I doubt at times? Why can’t I pick up the Word of God like I do with my well-worn, duct taped favorite book? Why wasn’t I pouring through its pages, like I did with other books on my shelf? My passion had waned, and I found myself in need of that God-breathed inspiration once again in my heart.
So here I am, I’ve dusted off my personal study Bible, still ashamed yet I bare my Masters Image in my broken state. Breathe on me breathe of God…fill me with life anew.
To be like Jesus…what does it mean to me?
How can I possibly be like Him?
I am broken
I am faulty
I am a habitual sinner
Yet His love
His Grace
His Hope
Brings me to the very face
of God,
and I am lost
I am no longer
I cease…
but ah, in my place
will be, not now
not in a moment
but will be
His reflection
looking back at me.
This is Holiness
this is where and who
I am called to be.
At 3:57 in the morning
I check and recheck
My red glowing alarm
Clock
I should be asleep
Running through
Dreams in my head
Fluttering eye kids
Like the flapping of
Wings
It’s 3:57am
Sleep has once
Again escaped
By window
Or by back door
I’m not sure
But I am not
Alone in the early
Hours before down
Below,
Just outside my
Bedroom window
A lonely snow plow
Is pushing up mounds
Of freshly fallen snow
There goes my driveway
Oh well….but as I lie
Here with eyes wide open
And ears alert to the ongoings
Outside
I believe that as this heart
Thumps to the rhythm of
The passing plow
We connect at some level
He and I
Both comrades before
The dawn
At 3:57 this one time
Chance encounter
Will go unnoticed by the plow
Though for me
And my sideways glances
At the crimson glow
I am content
To just lie here
For but a little while
Longer…
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build’em up with worn-out tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
Pastor's Ponderings 