Maudlin Days. (A poem)



Today I am feeling quite maudlin.
It stirs up echos in my life
mere dust clouds, wisps of faces
and places all captured here…
It is below zero outside again today
but all I can think of is how many
miles these feet have carried me
how many footprints I have stepped into
some, not quite big enough
this shadow is far from small
not tall, yet other times lagging, lumbering behind…
while other footprints that have been cast
big foot must have passed this way
and I find this shadow dwarfed and intimidated.
How many miles indeed?!  
How fragile and temporal…is there purpose? 
Sometimes it’s a Sojourner without mission or aim, 
lost out in the cold wandering around as if blind.
These are maudlin days, 
yet I sense a Sun rise just on the next horizon. 

A Bear in this winter. (A Poem)


I place hands, thick, dry, worn and calloused 

upon the cold, vinyl steering wheel.

Winter’s breath, blue and frozen, 

weighs heavily upon this steel frame. 

I exhale another vapor trail 

which drifts off into some maudlin 

memory and “want to be”…and then it’s gone. 

The engine protests greatly as I turn the key

and jar it from its frosty nap.  

I am tired…  

I am tired of being tired. 

I sling my computer bag onto the passenger seat

it crunches and bounces upon the springs 

and it mechanically sings in a squeaky voice.

it all too feels heavier than it should 

brick-like, a mill stone with broken handcuffs 

from this fleeing assailant…somewhere out there

I’ve discarded my orange prison jump suit

for some other kind of suit and tie

as an old wire clothes line is bereft 

and vacantly missing its belongings. 

I am on the run.

Someone put out the A.P.B….

Something inside of me wells up

like some untapped oil reserve desiring 

to kiss the blue of sky.

It brims again to the surface, spilling over 

flooding the ground with its bucket lists 

of “what ifs” and “how comes” and “why nots”…

I sigh in my creased suit, loosen my too-tight tie

and now, seated in this cold shell

I brace myself, fingers numbing and aching

sighing and shaking.

I’m not broken, I’m not weak or dying

I’m just traveling down roads

traveled before

staring off into the horizon and considering 

that bear that went over the next crest of the hill…

will he ever come back?  

And then I look into my rear-view mirror. Image

Can’t wake up!

It is morning again and I find that my head is full of stuffing…its no fun waking up still groggy and head thumping away.   As I pour my first cup of thick black coffee I try to breathe deeply its fragrance, the earthy spell that weaves itself around me and knocks insistently at my still slumbering conscience with its wisps of spiraling steam and faint offering to the coffee gods.  

I am the slumbering zombie today, eyes vacant staring out into nowhere, slumping awkwardly in a chair trying to bring the coffee from hand to mouth…quick get the IV drip ready full of this coffee stuff because I fear I won’t make it to noon.  With far too much to do today and with my fuel of self and motivation running low…help?!  

Perhaps you have been where I am…I can’t seem to move faster than the speed of slow.  If I don’t post here later today…wait until tomorrow.  🙂   


Soldiers on respite

We comb back our hair

Frayed and tattered by the wind

Greased pulled back stumped fingers

sometimes biting at the bit

checking faces in mirrors

is this really me?

Is my tie on straight?…


It all culminates


And while battered

And bruised

Blistered and subjected

To cruel worlds of selfishness

We straightened our ties


breathe deeply

Stand up tall

And go back out into it

While in the background

The piano strikes up

A somber tune

Out of tune

Ringing down the corridor

Echoing off of the

“welcome, come again” mat

Springing through ringlets

Primed by fingers with nails

Chewed too low

And we hum along

To the song

Onward we those

Christian soldiers…

Now where did I leave

That war?

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