The pastor said God was everywhere
And so I’m looking for him.
They say he’s in the world today
But I’m not seein much of him
In how we treat each other
In how wars are fought
In how innocent blood is spilt
You see I’m looking for God
But I’m having doubt’s he’s here…
I went looking in a church too
To find out where he’d been
Talked to couple of folks there
Full of wind in their sails
But their anchors weren’t pulled
Going round in circles, it seems.
Is God here in this church
With crimson window panes
And creaking pews with people
In them who are equally creaking?
I’m not so sure…
I am looking for God
But the question is has he been looking for me?
Or am I just blind as a bat?
Am I reciting all the wrong jargon?
Am I wearing the wrong clothes…
No, God doesn’t care about that stuff,
Does he care for me?
Look, all I want to be is genuine
All I want to do is help and hope and love
And leap in places that faith will carry me…
I’m looking for God, have you seen him?
What’s he like?
Will you please tell me?
“But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.” – 1 Peter 3:15-16
I was listening to music on the radio as I was dropping my children off at school this morning. Minding my own business, when God decided to pop in for a visit. Perhaps it had been a while. Perhaps, if this was a time for confessions I might admit to getting caught up in work and other things…perhaps.
Isn’t it funny how God can speak to us in so many different ways? We can go to an art gallery and suddenly a painting of flowers will strike a chord in our hearts and we would know that God had something to do with it. Or perhaps we see God in other people as the driver just ahead of you casually pays for your toll as well…God was there. Or even in the midst of utter despair, pain, hurt, loss, we might read something that gently and quietly reminds us that God is present with us. He is here with you now as you read this…do you believe that? I do. His presence is with us always, even to the ends of the earth, even when all hell breaks loose around us, even when we are blind to His passing…He is there!
…back to the music on the radio…
I was sitting in my van and two songs back to back touch my heart in a way that I couldn’t deny His presence there. The first was a song by Mumford and Sons called “Below my feet”. It wasn’t so much the entire song but the refrain that captured my heart for a moment:
” Keep the earth below my feet
For all my sweat, my blood runs weak
Let me learn from where I have been
Keep my eyes to serve, my hands to learn
Keep my eyes to serve, my hands to learn”
As I heard those words I pondered that last sentence; “Keep my eyes to serve, my hands to learn”…but I said it like a prayer to the Lord. Lord, keep my eyes to serve and my hands to learn…. I didn’t lose control of the vehicle but I could feel His presence there and I may as well have been in church.
“I may as well have been in church!”
The very next song that came on was a song by the David Crowder Band called “You never let go”. Its words go like this:
When clouds veil the sun and disaster comes
Oh my soul, oh my soul
When waters rise and hope takes flight
Oh my soul, oh my soul, oh my soul
Ever faithful, ever true
You, I know, You never let go
You never let go, You never let go
You never let go
You never let go, You never let go
You never let go
When clouds brought rain and disaster came
Oh my soul, oh my soul
When waters rose and hope had flown
Oh my soul, oh my soul, oh my soul
Ever faithful, ever true
You, I know, You never let go
I was in church in my van…God was very present. He reminded me of just how important it is to not only serve Him but to always look for Him in every moment of my day. He’s here right now wanting so desperately to fellowship and commune with you and me. And His promise to us is that He will never let go.
“When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?”…“But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?” Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” (Matthew 16:13, 15-16)
Jesus looked at His followers and asked them a detailed demographic question. It was a survey of sorts. “Who do people say the Son of man is?” In other words who do they think I am? Jesus, more than likely already knew what others thought of Him and who He might be, but He asked His disciples. Why did He do that? Why ask if He already knew the answers?
Perhaps the reason Jesus asked His disciples this question was to help them finally pin down who Jesus was in their hearts and minds. He first asks them about how others viewed Him. It is an the greater perspective, but then Jesus brings it back to them when He said, “But who do YOU say that I am?” Notice the personal question. Now the tables have turned. Now the disciples are glancing at each other hoping someone will answer first. It is one of the most pivotal moments in their spiritual education as Jesus’ disciples. This one solitary moment of internal reflection. It is a moment that causes each disciple to carefully inspect what He has done and what He has said. For but a moment, doubt and worry must have clouded their minds. For but a moment each individual, not the collective, considered the right words to say to Jesus. It was mere moments but it could have been a lifetime.
Is it no surprise that Peter is the one to speak? He was the disciples that climbed out of the boat when all of the others waited and watched Jesus walking on the waves. The same Peter who seemingly dove head first into anything he did. It was all or nothing with Peter. So Peter speaks up and nails Jesus’ identity for the group gathered there. “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God“. Can you say hashtag #nailedit ? Peter solidifies for the rest of the disciples as he identifies Jesus. It’s been nearly three years that they have been together, didn’t they already know? Didn’t they already trust THE Rabbi?
I think the question here that begs to be asked for us today is this: “Who do we think Jesus is?” Can we quickly respond as Peter did? Can we identify Jesus as God’s Son and Messiah to us as well? Is He your Messiah?
You see I believe there is a big difference between knowing Jesus and trusting Jesus! James 2:19 says, “You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that–and shudder.” You could substitute the word ‘believe’ for the word ‘know’. Even the demons know Jesus. That is a big difference from fully trusting in Him though. Trusting Jesus means that we have to let go of our preconceived notions. It means that we have to relinquish our self-reliance. It means that we have to place our faith in something other than ourselves or something seen…but in the unseen.
Do you trust the Son of God? Have you let go of your casual understanding of Him? Are you prepared to delve into the waters of faith? Don’t just settle for knowing Jesus, trust Him also! Peter declared boldly “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God”; may we have this same boldness in our faith to do likewise today!
-Just a thought for today.
Simply trusting every day; Trusting through a stormy way; Even when my faith is small, Trusting Jesus, that is all.
Trusting as the moments fly, Trusting as the days go by, Trusting Him, whate’er befall, Trusting Jesus, that is all.
Long have I been frail and weathered
Impacted too easily by these winds of fear
Long have I allowed these wrongs to enter
And shed the countless regretful tear
I ask my heart to beat through the pain
To focus on the destination set
While catching fallen tears like rain
Soaking in these cold walls of regret.
Yet someone calls out my name
I look up through blurring sight
His face is full of love not shame
He wants to take away this night
I feel so undeserving of His grace
As He takes me gently by the hand
He tells me He has prepared a place
An Eternal paradise so grand.
I scarce can take His presence in
As His love penetrates my soul
He restores grace in place of sin
And I stand before Him whole!
And to the searching and the lost
He wants to do the same
His blood poured out, he paid the cost
And took upon our sin and shame.
Arise my soul, arise,
Shake off thy guilty fears;
The bleeding sacrifice
in my behalf appears;
Before the throne my surety stands,
my name is written on his hands.
(Charles Wesley)
I’ve been humming the tune to this hymn, yet the poetic words are running through my brain like a train that won’t stop churning and chugging along…I think I can, I think I can, I think I can… Call it the obsessive mind running in a circular motion very much like a NASCAR track…but yet it’s something more…something deeper, more disturbing.
The words have struck a chord in me. Plucked the wrong string that kind of stings yet affirms to me that there is something more to give. Something more to sacrifice. Something more to surrender and kill that is of the old self still attempting to crawl off of the altar…stubborn as ever! The words are visceral, bone on bone, marrow sucked out and pain depicted in His suffering. Am I willing to allow Him in…like this? Am I really ready to commit to a deeper, more personal relationship that throws open the curtains to my deepest, darkest sins and embarrassments. As the curtains are pulled back and His light burns and shines upon me, revealing how dirty and filthy this place truly is… Yet, If I were to reconsider this deeper calling, I will come to the obvious conclusion that I am already naked before the One who shed His blood for me. That He already sees me for who I am, who I have been, and who I could be. He already perceives and knows my guilt and shame. Perhaps I am like the child who is covering his eyes and saying “you can’t see me”, when all along it has been me that hasn’t seen all along.
“Arise my soul, arise
Shake off thy guilty fears…”
What is it that I am afraid of? That when He finally sees me, the real me, that I he will shake his head a walk away? Or will he laugh? Am I afraid to let go? To lose control? Do I fear for my identity? Why have I waited this long to get to this point when all along He has patiently waited for me? These words aren’t so much about my Salvation as it is about my holiness, or lack there of. Am I afraid to admit that I am a scared little child in the face of His holiness? Perhaps.
I am humming the tune…and letting these words slip in quietly and solemnly. I am pondering His still small voice, and that of His eternal patience with me. Savior, hold my hand and lead me.
The church piano is playing “turn eyes upon Jesus”
when their eyes are on their phones
checking status’ and messages
but the Spirit’s call gets sent right to voicemail.
The complaints of old parishioners
why are there less and less?
Perhaps if smiles instead of frowns
warmth instead of winter cold
were expressed.
The prayers of the selfish, the haves, and greedy
out weigh the care or concern for the needy
wrong motives, hatred and pride
breaking down families all trapped inside…the church.
turn your eyes upon…money?
turn your eyes upon…sunday (even)?
turn your eyes upon…women and men?
No, start again.
Flames of His Spirit descend again!
Consume all our folly and sickness again!
Tear down our selfishness, tear down our pride
A Bride of resplendence, a bride of love
If you were to ask the old woman in the back pew how long she has been here sitting meekly, never slumping respectable and proper she would look at you through tired and filmy eyes.
Eyes, crow feet with extra toes blue as seas of winter snow collected in our backyards in January.
She would exhale deeply like a summer breeze gently kissing juniper branches green and supple as they bend and yield to her affectionate wooings. How subtle her movements fragile even yet it belies wisdom personified beneath these brittle bones, capturing decades of moments, snap shots mastered as well as the flaming
disasters on failure’s crushed dreams.
She would look at you, warmly smile and her answer, beckoning as it may be, will take another year to finally sink in…and then, perhaps you will return again wiser and more sincere.
Pastor's Ponderings 