10 Funny Song Titles In The Salvation Army Song Book

*Warning: If you don’t like humor and or are easily offended by humor, please turn away now.*

I believe we can laugh with each other…right?
Laughter is a great remedy for a lot of issues in our lives.
The other day I was going through our new song book and I realized that there were some funny song titles that I had either never heard before or I was in the band and had never sung them.  Perhaps as you read these you have others that you would like to share, because I know there are more.   I also realize some of these song titles come from bygone days where the language was different and so was the culture, but it doesn’t stop me from having a laugh today as we explore 10 funny titles in The Salvation Army Song Book…

Please forgive me and indulge my warped sense of humor for a moment or two.

fixed#10 “My Heart Is Fixed”  (#507) 

Here’s a band-aid, and now the heart has been repaired.  All is now better, you may go about your business, we’re good here!  This declaration seems kind of sudden that’s all.


#9  “Come, my soul, Thy Suit Prepare”  (#745) suit

I see a tailor standing there with measuring tape ready to get that suit all sewn and ready. We know there is a spiritual implication here, but my mind has this image of something entirely different when one says “Suit Prepare”…

chair#8 “O Jesus Thou Art Standing”  (#614) 

I can see British comedian Ricky Gervais, in his dry, dead pan sense of humor saying, “If Jesus is just standin’ there, why don’t you offer him a seat?   I mean, that’s just rude isn’t it?”   What is the song writer trying to say?  “O Jesus you’re standing…”  It just seem sort of funny sounding doesn’t it?

(yes, I know there’s more to the song lyrics, but we’re focusing on the titles here)



#7 “O Jesus Pilot Me”  (#655) Photo May 06, 8 58 12 AM

Sorry, but this is what I envisioned this song title to mean –
Jesus ready to board that plane and fly us to another destination.  I know it’s silly, but it’s what I first saw within that title.  We know what the writer meant, but I just couldn’t help myself…sorry.


bewildered#6  “I Stand All Bewildered with wonder”  (#849) 
Just the word “bewilder” brought up a face like this in my mind.  Like we stand there gawking, with mouths wide open and our eyes ready to pop out of our eye sockets.  It just evokes in me a kind of silly moment when we’re standing there dumbfounded and truly looking the part.



#5  “I Want A Principle Within”   (#496) principal

I know, I know, it’s not “Principal” but the first thing that popped into my head was a Headmaster standing there ready to deliver some punishment.  Understandably we want to have spiritual discipline in our lives, but this isn’t it.  Still this imagery came to mind.


#4  “Lord, I Was Blind!  I Could Not See”  (#505)

I can almost see Lockhorns (comic depicted here) having this barb exchange… “Lord, I was blind!  I could not see” and then Mrs Lockhorn saying “And He still can’t see!”

Why do I get the image of a married couple making fun of one another in my mind?  I saw this title and it made me laugh.

#3  “Unto Thee Will I Cry”  (#794)  crying

Sorry Dawson’s Creek, your meme is famous.  And when I saw this song title, I couldn’t help but have an image of James Van Der Beek shamelessly crying.  I can just see us standing there shamelessly crying like this in some way and wonder if it would look like this…
#2  “Writes A Pardon On My Heart”  (#493) 
Photo May 06, 9 13 40 AM
I know these songs aren’t to be taken literally, but I couldn’t help myself.  I get the picture in my head of my heart and someone  is holding it with an ink pen preparing to write the words Pardon right into my heart tissue.

Perhaps to an outsider without the understand of atonement theories, this song title might seem confusing and down right creepy.  To me, it makes me chuckle a little bit.

#1  “Do Not Go Home Without Jesus” (#415) home1

I get this image of my heart of a soldier leaving a worship service, driving in their car only to look over in the passenger seat and exclaim, “Oh no, I’ve forgotten Jesus!”

I understand the imagery, it just seems to translate differently to me today.  And then, that Maroon 5 group sang that one song about “I won’t go home without you…”

Moral of the story, don’t take these song titles literally like me.
Perhaps you have other song titles that you think are funny, ridiculous or strange, would you please share them with us?!  This is all light hearted and I hope I haven’t offended anyone.  All things considered, most of these songs have some wonderful lyrics, it’s just the song titles I couldn’t pass up to mention.


12 thoughts on “10 Funny Song Titles In The Salvation Army Song Book

Add yours

  1. When I was a junior soldier in the 1950s I thought

    Lloyd was named after the principal cornet Lloyd Harvey


  2. Scott, As usual you hit a nerve. Watch out for al the literalists and super-spiritualists out there…they won’t find your satire very funny. In one of the old song books there was a song called “Ready to die, are you ready to die?” What an uplifting lyric on a Sunday morning…

    Good work!

  3. My favorite is “Take my life and let it be.” Without completing the phrase (… Consecrated, Lord, to Thee), it sounds as if I’m impudently commanding the Almighty to leave me alone. “Go ahead; take my life. Just leave me be!”

    1. I hated this song as a child. I used to think that God was going to come and literally take my hands, my lips, my eyes and I would be left without them. Now as an adult, I think it’s funny I thought that 🙂

  4. Thanks Stephen, yes we had a good laugh. As a kid I always thought these were the words of a chorus we used to sing. ” Got any rivers you think are uncrossable, Got any mountains you can’t tunnel through. GOD’S SPECIAL EYES, instead of, God specialises etc. I thought God was sitting up in heaven with these EYES watching all the ‘stuff’ I was doing…..pretty scary!

  5. That’s good and laughing time with Songs. Hope new generation will like it and when they will go into the Church for worship they will sing these song, will laugh.

  6. When I see the song “God is keeping his soldiers fighting” I wonder why God would keep us fighting rather than working together.
    I’m also never sure if I should be offended when someone asks me to sing “on a hill far away”.

  7. My favorite song title comes from “Salvation Army Music (Vol. 3):”

    I’ll drink when I’m dry

    I’ll drink when I’m dry,
    I’ll drink a supply,
    I’ll drink from the fountain
    That never runs dry.

    I always wondered why a church that is anti-drinking (alcohol) would have a beer-drinking song (which the tune is) in its Song Book. Of course, this was the 1900 tune book, and the spiritual significance of drinking spiritual water when the soul is spiritually dry… but at 12, who thinks like that?

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