When Faith Flickers – Finding God in the Shadows of Doubt.

After the death of a loved one, I felt lost. The prayers we had all prayed seemed to have been for nothing. I felt as if God were distant from me, and if I’m being honest, I was angry at Him for not answering my prayers when I needed Him most. I resented Him, and I felt my faith fading away. It wasn’t gone entirely, but I found myself questioning the rhythms and routines of my faith journey. Had I grown too comfortable? Is there more to faith than this? Am I doing it all wrong?

I have discovered that faith, like most things, can wane from time to time. I do not think it’s wrong to express moments of doubt. Because doubt, like shadows, can often cast its long amorphous tendrils over the spaces once illuminated by trust and assurance…but the light is still there.

Time, you see, though a human construct, can separate us from that path, and we begin to forget. What do we forget, you may ask? We forget the fulfillment of God’s promises. We lose sight of the many times we felt His presence with us, and instead we only recall the times when our prayers seemed to go unanswered. Time has a way of allowing those shadows to grow in us. And then our grip is loosened, and our resolve erodes. Often times when this happens, we berate ourselves because we lack faith. Inwardly we cower at the thought that others might discover our shortcomings. Why are we afraid to be vulnerable around other Christ-followers? Do we not realize that they struggle with their faith and doubt too? We often fail to acknowledge that they are also imperfect and just as vulnerable. And yet, oftentimes, our first inclination is to worry about what others might think of our struggles instead of sharing them. Could it be that when we share, we commiserate and encourage others? Instead of sharing, our first instinct is to hide and pretend to be something we are not – perfect. Here’s a confession for you: I am so tired of pretending to be perfect. I despise the masks that we force ourselves to wear. I hate the Christianese jargon that we spout when all of it is shallow and signifies nothing but words that fail to penetrate our hearts.

Can I be real for just a second? I fear that 90% of our offerings to God (worship services, the words we say, catch phrases and platitudes) are performed for the benefit of others and not God…and the flickering flame of our faith continues to dim, and we wonder why.

When Faith Flickers – Ask the Hard Questions.

I think it’s safe to say that God is not threatened by our questions; instead, He invites them as pathways to deeper faith and understanding. When we ask the tough questions it creates authenticity and, believe it or not, it deepens our relationship with Him. We no longer have to placate or utter words that have become routine and ritualistic. Instead, we begin to actually battle with the tangible problems of life. Many times, we tend to avoid the hard questions because they could cause doubt; but in reality, asking the tough questions brings perspective, and in so doing, our faith becomes resilient having been forged in deeper roots.

Don’t Be Afraid of Authenticity.

So throw off the mask, the false pretenses, the Christianese jargon, the constant worry about what others might think because you aren’t acting or dressing the part of what Church is “supposed” to look like. Here’s a newsflash – You are the church. It’s you. It’s been you all this time. God wants YOU to be real and honest with Him about your faith. He doesn’t need any more empty talk that placates but is void of action and credibility. It’s okay to doubt. It’s okay to ask the hard questions, especially when faith begins to flicker. It may seem that the shadows are growing darker around you, but embrace the path that you’re currently on. There’s something to be learned from it all. And when you begin to tackle the daunting, the seemingly insurmountable, and you face the thing you fear the most – you will discover God has never left you. He’s right there with you.

When your faith flickers, and the shadows of doubt may seem overwhelming, but remember that God is not distant or disinterested. He is present in your questions, your fears, and your struggles. Doubt doesn’t disqualify you from His love; it invites you into deeper dependence on Him.

God’s light shines brightest in the darkest moments, guiding you through uncertainty with His truth and grace. Like a steady flame, His faithfulness remains unwavering, even when your faith feels weak. Lean into Him, trusting that He will meet you in the shadows, rekindle your hope, and lead you into a deeper, more resilient faith.

When you walk with God, even flickering faith becomes the foundation for a stronger, enduring trust in His unchanging character and promises.

-Something more to ponder today.