Author: Pastor'sPonderings

Just a guy who asks questions, considers life and tries not to take any of it for granted

A Prayer

when the clouds have rolled back

when the pain cascading over 

has receded passed our broken hearts

when the tides of confusion too 

have drifted, current strong back into the deep

there, my soul, we will be free.

When the strength of ebb and tide

flows through our veins

when worries no longer drive us insane 

and the peace of the Divine 

enters us once again

that is where I will want to remain.

Don’t capsize me dear Lord

I am weak and without sword

but You have never left my side

through pain and sorrows been my guide

Provide Your light 

return my sight

All to You I give, all for You

I will live.

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“On your mark…get set…”

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Philippians 3:14-16 (MSG)
14 I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.
15 So let’s keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you’ll see it yet! 16 Now that we’re on the right track, let’s stay on it.

You’ve seen it before, athletes staring down the track, or focusing on the ball and not idly chattering with others before the game or competition.  They are visualizing the finish line, the victory, the means to get from point A, where they are now, to point B the completion.  Every step of the runner is considered.  Every eventual or possible play by the sports star is thought through.   The journey to the finish line is not easy.   A lot of preparation beforehand must be made.  To simply show up at the competition without first preparing the mind and body will most likely lead an athlete down the track of failure.

Within the preparation of the athlete, not only are the possibilities of each footstep or play considered, but also the dangers.  There are risks involved in competing.  Injuries can occur. One false step or hesitation could lead to a devastating injury of the athlete.  If the mind of the athlete is not prepared to engage in split second, total commitment then mistakes and second thoughts could lead to bodily harm.

The athlete must be prepared to engage in battle, so to speak.  They prepare themselves for the opposing force.  A good athlete studies his or her adversities, weaknesses, and those he or she is competing against.  When this knowledge is secured, 100% is given to the effort of success, anything less than full commitment is unacceptable.  It has been said that an athlete leaves it all on the court, meaning they give it their all nothing less than everything.

Is that how our relationship with Christ is?  Are we committed 100% to this allegiance?  Or are we crucified with Christ only on the weekends or just certain holidays?  We short change the power of God and His moving in our lives if we aren’t fully committed to Him daily.  Like an athlete that the Apostle Paul describes, we have to focus and press on towards the goal.  Becoming like Christ, following in His footsteps take real courage and commitment!  We can’t be fair weathered about it.  If we are fair weathered Christians then we aren’t fully engaged in this forward motion of becoming like Christ!  Just as the athlete who flinches or hesitates mid-step the consequences could be devastating to our forward progress.

The message version of the above passage says in verse 15, “If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you’ll see it yet!” Note that God can and will guide us in the spiritual discipline of obedience.  We can’t be amateur athletes of faith all of our lives.  He wants more from us.  God knows what we’re capable of even beyond what we know of ourselves.  We cannot feast on spiritual baby formula for the rest of our earthly lives.  God wants us to grow, mature and develop in us a deeper understanding of this faith that He gives us.  In so doing we will realize, like Paul, the ultimate goal is Christ-likeness the prize is the eternal reward but we can live it today!  We can live as eternal children of God today, but it requires our full commitment and obedience to His promptings and guiding of our lives.  Anything less than a full or total commitment will cause us to doubt.  A halfhearted commitment will cause us to doubt ourselves, our initial motivations, even our salvation.  Halfhearted commitment will also have us question the relevancy of God in our lives and that of His power and might.

We cannot afford to be halfhearted in our focus and our aim as Christ-followers.  It’s all or nothing.  We too must leave it all on the court.

If any of us are lacking focus or commitment today, first of all know that you’re not alone!  Every one of us struggles from time to time with our faith.  Sometimes our old selves causes us to hesitate and also trips us up along the way.  But it’s what we do next that counts.  Get back up and keep running, keep our focus on the prize, the model of holy living: Christ himself.  There’s a prayer chorus that says this;

“All there is of me, Lord,

All there is of me,

Time and talents, day by day,

All I bring to thee;

All there is of me, Lord,

All there is of me,

On thine altar here I lay

All there is of me.”

Get back out there and run and don’t look back!  Get on with it!

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Winter Doldrums and Spring Blues

winter

Retromatic

 

 

I am pouring myself another cup of heavy ambrosial espresso.  I admit it, I have cabin fever!  It’s not as cold as it used to be, the snow is melting and with the rise of temperatures and melting snow there is slush and water everywhere.  Anyone else strongly dislike getting their feet wet in subzero temperature water?  Yet here I am sipping my hot coffee, itching for some sun shine yet reluctant to crack the door and test the wetness of the ground with my toes.   There’s only so much television to watch, and books to read and naps to take before you begin to feel it rise within you like blood pressure in a hot tempered person.

 

I am tired of the winter months.  I can’t confess this enough!  I do not enjoy it anymore.  As far as I’m concerned the snow can depart come December 26th and arrive December 25th the next year.   Obviously that’s just me, and for others this is their cup of tea…you can keep it all.

 

I am sipping, leaning back on this creaking chair, the sounds of the tv echoes off the photo gallery of my family on the wall.  Here I am…winter doldrums, spring blues…itching my spirit like poison ivy on the skin.  April…is that you knocking on my door?

 

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Just because

I’m sitting in this parking lot,
The hyperactive kid is throwing
Balls of snow and ice at
The van while he dances to
A tune only he can hear
And then lays down in
The field of white and communes
With the snow angels.
Sometimes we need to be like that
simplified
Unfettered
Unrestrained
All engaged and who cares
What others think in the process…
Sometimes we worry too much
Stress over things that we can’t control and it weighs on our souls
It ages us, wages war with us
And we are weary
Closing our eyes and pulling
Out our hair in frustration…
Sometimes,
Maybe today,
Maybe tomorrow
We get out there
And commune with the
Snow angels too…just because.

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Progressing or Protecting the Status Quo?

“Discontent with the status quo is a great catalyst for vision.” –John Maxwell

“…there is still a need for those of us nestled deep within the Christian bubble to look beyond the status quo and critically assess the degree to which we are really living biblically.” –Francis Chan

‘You’ve got to leave your past in your behind’ –Pumba (the Lion King)

What is it organizational or even denominationally that instills this thought that the status quo must be kept?  In The Salvation Army I think we often wrongly use the song “So we’ll lift up the banner on high…” as a rally cry to what we’ve done instead of what we could be doing.  The Status quo can be healthy, it can be a source of good…but when it becomes the main thing instead of the Main Thing, then we’ve lost our perspective and we need vision realignment.

I humorously remember the time that I went to the optometrist and had my eyes dilated so that they could get a good view of the present health of my vision.  I had to wait for a few minutes after the drops were administered so that the chemical reaction within my eye could appropriately take place.  Then under a lighted scope the doctor peered into the eye.  Thankfully nothing was wrong but following the simple procedure I was to go out and select the style of glasses that I would like to wear.  No one warned me that my vision was now slightly impaired, the pupils were twice their normal circumference and would be sensitive to light.  There I was, slightly yet temporarily impaired, trying to study the color, shape and style of my – would be glasses.

I probably looked rather funny that day, holding the glasses close to my face while wearing those ridiculous plastic sun visors over my eyes.  The thought occurred to me in the process of picking out my new glasses, that the optometrists of the world had a very spectacular sense of humor and I would have to live with glasses that I had picked while still very much visually impaired.

Protecting, even upholding the status quo as the measure by which we have to lead by or vision cast for the future is like picking out glasses while your eyes have just been fully dilated…it just doesn’t make sense and on the outside is a humorous moment to behold.  The status quo is defined by how things are currently, and I would add that they become that way currently but living beyond the status quo of our past.

Within The Salvation Army sphere, had William Booth upheld the status quo of his day, He would have remained a Methodist minister and conducted his evangelical ministry from behind the doors of the church.  But to move beyond status quo of today means we must take risks.  Sometimes risks are unpopular because the waters surrounding ‘risk’ are untried and turbulent.  No one enjoys change if they are not the one propelling the change.  Yet to remain within the status quo, to play it safe, to keep things the way they have been or are currently is to be like the miserly servant of the master who was entrusted one talent in the Parable that Jesus told, the servant goes and buries the treasure because the risk was too great for him.  He played it safe and so when it was time that the Master called together his servants again after returning this miserly servant proclaimed;   “ ‘Sir, I knew that you were a hard man, harvesting where you did not sow, and gathering where you did not scatter seed, so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. See, you have what is yours.’ But his master answered, ‘Evil and lazy slave! So you knew that I harvest where I didn’t sow and gather where I didn’t scatter? Then you should have deposited my money with the bankers, and on my return I would have received my money back with interest! Therefore take the talent from him and give it to the one who has ten. For the one who has will be given more, and he will have more than enough. But the one who does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. And throw that worthless slave into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth’” Matthew 25:24-30

The Status quo is not what we are called to uphold.  This measurement is manmade, temporary and can only tell us of where we’ve been but not where we’re to be in the future.  Leaders cannot or should not be willing to settle for and rely on the things that we’ve already done for the kingdom.  We can’t hang our hats on them, pat our stomachs and stop casting the vision for tomorrow.  When we settle, when all of our energies are expended to protect the status quo watch out because inevitably if we remain there God will appoint someone else in our place more willing to take the risks that we are not.   It is my hope and prayer that this never happens.

“Faith in God’s revelation has nothing to do with an ideology which glorifies the status quo.” -Karl Barth
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The Perils of Propagating Apathy

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Apathy:

1. 

lack of enthusiasm or energy: lack of interest in anything, or the absence of any wish to do anything

2. 

emotional emptiness: inability to feel normal or passionate human feelings or to respond emotionally

 

There’s a real danger in our world today.  It’s not death…well not initially…it could be linked like some shoe string cousin.  It’s not any kind of phobia.  It’s apathy.  I’ve talked about this danger before but sometimes it needs to be belted out through a bull horn before we wake up to its dangerous venom.  Unlike hate or violence or any other kind of life threatening plague on humanity, Apathy can inflict the worst kind of sickness on the spirit on mankind. 

There have been countless stories of real life examples of this disease.  A woman in the state of California was mugged in broad day light and no one would come to her rescue…she fought with her attacker as he tried to swipe her purse In Broad Day Light!  The only person that did come to her rescue was a homeless man who happened to be nearby.  Everyone was far too busy to even care about her life threatening situation. 

It’s hard to imagine people witnessing something of a violent nature and not doing something about it.  Perhaps there was an element of fear or self-preservation, but to do nothing when one has the opportunity to do something…mind boggling.  You might content that I wasn’t there so I couldn’t judge the merits of the would be witnesses…true and yet this is just a small example of this plight of apathy in our world today. 

As Christians images of the parable of the Good Samaritan come to mind.  Read it now from the Message version: 

Luke 10:30-38 (MSG)
30 Jesus answered by telling a story. “There was once a man traveling from Jerusalem to Jericho. On the way he was attacked by robbers. They took his clothes, beat him up, and went off leaving him half-dead. 31 Luckily, a priest was on his way down the same road, but when he saw him he angled across to the other side. 32 Then a Levite religious man showed up; he also avoided the injured man. 33 “A Samaritan traveling the road came on him. When he saw the man’s condition, his heart went out to him. 34 He gave him first aid, disinfecting and bandaging his wounds. Then he lifted him onto his donkey, led him to an inn, and made him comfortable. 35 In the morning he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take good care of him. If it costs any more, put it on my bill—I’ll pay you on my way back.’
36 “What do you think? Which of the three became a neighbor to the man attacked by robbers?”
37 “The one who treated him kindly,” the religion scholar responded. Jesus said, “Go and do the same.”

Did you catch the last thing Jesus said to the teachers of the law in this passage?  “Go and do the same.”  Go and do the same as what?  The same as the Priest?  The same as the Levite?  NO!  The same as the Good Samaritan.  It’s funny that the one person that the Jews would have avoided in their lives came to the rescue of this man.  The person with the least to offer gave what he could to the hurt and possibly dying man.  That doesn’t sound like an apathetic person to me.  This parable captures an attitude that we too should adopt in our lives. 

Do you care enough? 

Can we say that we would have done the same in our lives?  Are we people who care about more than just ourselves?  Are we willing to risk something not for ourselves but for someone else?  For a complete stranger? 

You do for me!  (Jesus)

Matthew 25:34-40 (MSG)
34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Enter, you who are blessed by my Father! Take what’s coming to you in this kingdom. It’s been ready for you since the world’s foundation.
35 And here’s why: I was hungry and you fed me, I was thirsty and you gave me a drink, I was homeless and you gave me a room, 36 I was shivering and you gave me clothes, I was sick and you stopped to visit, I was in prison and you came to me.’ 37 “Then those ‘sheep’ are going to say, ‘Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? 38 And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?’
39 40 Then the King will say, ‘I’m telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.’

 

Do care enough?  Do you care at all for others or those around you?  Apathy is a deadly disease of the spirit, and if we let it loose in our lives we run the risk of not only missing out on blessings but much more.  We could lose our very souls.  That is a very, very scary proposition to think on! 

Get on with it!

In a very real aspect, we can rid ourselves of this plague of Apathy by getting on with it!  What I mean is that we ought to stop talking about loving others or helping others by actually doing something about it!  Take action!  Roll your sleeves up and get to work! 

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless–it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”   -C.S. Lewis

 

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Enjoyment or Disappointment (I think It’s time)

We bite our nails

Pluck strands from our crowns

And dream we were someone else

Somewhere else

Anywhere but here

But underneath it all

Under the grit

The grime

The labor, the time

Under our fingernails too short

And the receding of our hair

Is that spark

That vivid hope

That longing to breathe free

Like our lady of liberty with torch

Bearing light to the lingering masses

We live, yet seldom

Live to enjoy it…

We drink in disappointments

Yet seldom stop to bathe

In the ineffable laughters

Of the moment

It all falls down

Below the expectations

Below the frustrations

And then we wake up

With nothing

But our fears

Why?

For what?

Perhaps we shouldn’t

Let moments pass like that

Perhaps we have dined

On the ugly for far too long

Perhaps it’s time

Time to change that

Time to reinvent

Ourselves

Our minds

Our hearts

Time to refrain

And begin again. 

 

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School Kids, Embarrassing Parents & A Horror Show

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There are certain horrors in life.  But none compared, none eclipse the mortifying, stuck in your shoes type of horror that many prepubescent boys experience – the horrors of parental embarrassment.   Imagine being that eleven year old boy about to begin school after the long summer days have ended.  The boy is forced to go school clothes shopping with his mother at a local department store down the street.  They arrive and enter the clothing establishment and little does this boy know how uniquely horrifying this experience will be to his young life.  Perhaps his life, though short lived, will flash before his eyes.

They find the young boys section, which just so happens to be right directly across from the young girls department…how lucky for him…still awkward around girls, like em one minute hate em the next.   Yet here he is with his mother about to shop for clothes.  Glancing over he sees a pretty girl around his age then he pulls his glance back quickly just as she also notices him.  “Great!” He thinks somberly to himself… the horror has begun.  In this jungle of cotton and hangers, the boy is vulnerable and exposed, inexperienced with shopping for anything other than video games or comic books.

His mother, oblivious to the plight his son, is perusing the racks of sale items.  Why is it most mothers pick the style and colors that the boy feels was so three years ago?  Why is it that mothers long to keep their boys forever 8 years old?  This Peter Pan mentality within all Moms who have attempted to stop the chicken legs and bony knees.  To stop the freakishly elongated arms and the feet that consistently pass another shoe size seemingly by the month.  Why try?  Is it so that Mom doesn’t feel older?  Is it to prevent the inevitable from happening – Her little boy growing up?

Then the summit, the apex of this horror show of school clothes shopping with your Mom unwraps itself.  It’s the shower curtain scene in Psycho, someone just needed to cue the shrieking music of ‘the knife’ scene.  If this boy later became a quantum physicist and invented a time machine, he would undoubtedly, come back and save his younger self from this moment of great embarrassment.  A group of girls, pretty girls that he recognizes from school walk by the boy section and sees him just as his mother, with underwear in hand sizes him up for a pair of cartoony kindergarten style pajamas.  “Mom!” the boy protests, red faced and awkwardly embarrassed, he ducks into a rack of clothes, hoping the girls didn’t just see that.

Perhaps that’s not your story.  But we’ve all been that awkward boy or girl.  We’ve all experienced the ‘licked spit on the hand to wipe your face moment’ from a parent.  The embarrassment of the waving parent as the son or daughter walks with a group of friends.  It’s funny how certain things never seem to change.   We might get older; our children might one day grow up, but the acts of embarrassment continue from generation to generation.   I for one am a parent who enjoys the role of the long passed tradition of the hand licker in public for the purpose of wiping a smudge off of my twelve year old son.  Or the moments of anxiety created when I crank the radio to 80’s rock songs while pulling up to the front door of the school at pick up time.  It’s the little things in life that make me smile.  My sons will never forget their father belting out an operatic version of Adele’s “Skyfall” as we approached their school.  Sometimes parenting has its rewards as a red faced child exits the vehicle quicker than usual because his father is badly singing at the top of his lungs…and they walk off shaking their heads but smile quickly as the glance back one last time.

Long story short, don’t miss out on the small things.   The embarrassing things.  The ‘make your child cringe’ things.  It’s your responsibility as a parent to embarrass the crap out of your kids.  Do I sound like an evil father?  Perhaps…but if your kids can laugh at the little things of life because their parents do then they’re better off in the future.  If your kids can see humanity for what it is, faults and all, then maybe they won’t worry so much about striving towards unhealthy acceptance in other areas of life.

Besides, laughter is the best medicine…so enjoy those moments when your child runs away red faced while shaking their head…but wait for the backward glance and a smile at the corner of the lips…it’s all worth it!

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Before waking

In the hours before waking

the fluttering of the eyes

the creaking home 

chattering into the darkness

speaking life into 

the deep exhales of slumber

somewhere a dog barks

a car travel weary passes in the street

the light has yet to kiss

the curtains and bend its

warming grace onto eyelids 

closed and distant. 

In the time before waking

before the dawn

we journey far

and hope in joyous 

tomorrows. 

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Sometimes we let go

Sometimes we just let go
Hand over fist
A Judas kiss
Wrapped tightly in blankets
Comfort of angels
Wings enfolding
Pain unfolding
Sometimes we just let go
Arms upholding
Strength midst weakness
A friend through the mess
Tears like rivers
Fears collapsing
Cascading
Down around
Still letting go
Breathing one
Last time
Looking up
And out
His face
Love’s embrace
Peace, extreme peace…
Sometimes
WE
LET
GO.

Today…
Tomorrow…
Heaven knows
Not I
Nor you
Whose eyes
Shall be waiting
Be looking at us
Whose embrace
Whose face
In that place
When
We
Let
Go.

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