This is a very sensitive topic, I know.
I don’t know the effects of infidelity (thankfully) first hand, nor am I about to make a broad brush stroke and lump other marital issues such as physical or substance abuse in with unfaithfulness. Let me be clear, my primary purpose in writing on this topic is strictly to confront areas of sinful unfaithfulness within the sacred partnership of marriage within the “Christian Church”.
Brothers and sisters in Christ, this ought not be. I do want to be sensitive with extemporaneous issues which might lead to such a betrayal, but in many cases Christians who are facing these types of issues in their marriage really need to consult professional marriage counseling before it gets worse.
If we can learn anything from the story of Hosea and his marriage to Gomer (which was a metaphor for the sacred yet broken Covenant relationship God had with His people) we should learn just how serious a partnership the marriage relationship was and still is today. After all, even the Apostle Paul wrote of the marriage relationship in Ephesians 5:22-33, and the main focal point in those verses center on resembling how Christ’s love is bestowed and poured out upon His bride the Church.
Husbands and wives, when you make that solemn commitment and say “I do” you are committing to that person FOR LIFE! This isn’t some kind of two year cell phone commitment, where, after two years, you can upgrade to a different model. This is why it is so crucial to get to know your “bride-to-be” or “groom-to-be” before you make that life long commitment! How heart wrenching it is to watch two committed Christians split up over some elicit affair or “moment of weakness”. Many psychologists have ascertained that a betrayal like this can be as devastating as a death in the family. (http://www.alfredadler.edu/sites/default/files/Livingston%20MP%202012.pdf)
One of the biggest public stories recently in Hollywood is of the elicit affair Kristen Stewart had with a married man, Rupert Sanders. Though this isn’t specifically a Christian story, the devastation that this had on both parties has ended in divorce and separation. How horrifying it must be to discover the one you have confided in and trusted your heart and life with has betrayed you. http://www.eonline.com/news/475712/liberty-ross-opens-up-about-husband-s-affair-with-kristen-stewart-it-was-really-the-worst
As Christian people, we are a living example of Christ to the world around us. I believe it hurts the heart of our Lord when marriages fall apart and unfaithfulness is at its center. Beware too…don’t ever think that you are not susceptible to such trappings of temptation! Steer clear of these moments of weakness. Don’t place yourself in compromising situations where you may be tempted! Keep your allegiance not only to God but also with your spouse and life-partner! Hebrews 13:4 Says; “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”
Get Help!
If you and your spouse are facing issues in your marriage, don’t be afraid to seek professional help with a Christian marriage counselor! It is a sign of strength and not weakness that you do so. After all, if there is something worth protecting in this life it would have to be your marriage and family? So take the time, seek support and guidance and don’t put it on the back burner because life is “too busy” right now! Be proactive in your marriage and don’t wait for the bags to be packed and the sofa full of pillows and blankets!
Cherish!
Seek fidelity in your marriage, but go way beyond that! Cherish your spouse! Be attentive, supportive, communicative and loving! Be selfless in your attitude towards each other instead of selfish! Spend time with one another and perhaps plan dates away from the kids and the stresses of work! Invest in your relationship and don’t neglect it! If we are to be amazing representatives of Christ-like living in this world it ought to begin with cherishing and preserving our love for our spouses and family first.
Pray!
Make sure you pray for one another, both privately in your own personal devotions as well as together. Prayer is not only our source of communication with God but it unifies and solidifies our intentions as couples. Never stop praying for your relationship, and also pray that Christ’s love would be demonstrated in how you treat each other.
Just an important thought for all of my married brothers and sisters out there today!
I am certainly not a marriage counselor, but I recognize this very real danger in our Church today and feel I must constantly remind myself and you of how easy these temptations can turn into moments of full blown infidelity if we are not diligent and aware of their trappings.
Blessings on you and your spouse today!
Pastor's Ponderings 