Category: Faith Ponderings

Kicking in the front door

“Knock and it shall be opened.’ But does knocking mean hammering and kicking the door like a maniac?” 
― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

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We pray and pray at times for God to answer our prayers the way that we want them answered.  We yearn and we groan, and at times we call God cruel secretly in our hearts because of the lack of answered prayers.  Could it be that it isn’t so much about His answer but about our asking?  I cannot be calloused here to say to a dying person that it was God’s will for you to die…of course it wasn’t.  I am not saying either that God is harsh and wishes some to perish from physical afflictions, this is not the God I serve.  We do live in a fallen and temporal world in which diseases like cancer and AIDS prevail.  God weeps with those who mourn and comforts those who hurt…it was never His doing that would create such a sad predicament of man.  

But in terms of our every day prayers, we can become like a SWAT team attempting to kick in the front door of an assailant instead of humbling petitioning before God the needs of our lives.  It isn’t about our wants, but our needs that He will provide (which are according to His riches).  But sometimes in our asking (prayer) we become more like Veruca Salt.  Do you remember the spoiled character in Roald Dahl’s book “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”?  Veruca Salt was a salty, spoiled brat who was given anything her heart desired.  This led to her downfall within the Chocolate factory, because her father could not give her something which didn’t belong to him.  Sometimes our asking prayers can seem like a spoiled little brat, I don’t mean to sound condescending because I too have asked like this.  Then when the answer doesn’t come to us the way that we wanted it, we flail on the floor and cry like a child desperately in need of  some discipline.  

How is your prayer life?  Are you approaching the throne of God with reverence and fear or are you Veruca Salt, intent on kicking down the front door if you have to?  Take an inventory of your prayer life, be mindful that God does listen to us and He will provide to those who ask in faith and that which brings glory and honor to Him.  

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Thanksgiving

It is nighttime
And we are
Speeding down the interstate
Ambers and reds
Of tail lights and house lights
Blur and whir by.
Frosted window panes
And breath that fogs up
The glass
Behind me my son
Is drawing in it
Perhaps another smiley face
But knowing him
It will end in some explosion
Tinged with violence…
Why are adolescent boys
Like that?
We just passed
Another house,
amber burning
shadows of life
Dance among the festive
Ambiance that
Permeates our drive.
We will partake in it soon
Revelers of thanksgiving,
Soaking in moments
That all too quickly flee
From our limited grasp
Far too soon.
But we are,
And will be thankful
Filled to brim with too much food
And family.
Never take this
For
Granted!

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A Bear in this winter. (A Poem)

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I place hands, thick, dry, worn and calloused 

upon the cold, vinyl steering wheel.

Winter’s breath, blue and frozen, 

weighs heavily upon this steel frame. 

I exhale another vapor trail 

which drifts off into some maudlin 

memory and “want to be”…and then it’s gone. 

The engine protests greatly as I turn the key

and jar it from its frosty nap.  

I am tired…  

I am tired of being tired. 

I sling my computer bag onto the passenger seat

it crunches and bounces upon the springs 

and it mechanically sings in a squeaky voice.

it all too feels heavier than it should 

brick-like, a mill stone with broken handcuffs 

from this fleeing assailant…somewhere out there

I’ve discarded my orange prison jump suit

for some other kind of suit and tie

as an old wire clothes line is bereft 

and vacantly missing its belongings. 

I am on the run.

Someone put out the A.P.B….

Something inside of me wells up

like some untapped oil reserve desiring 

to kiss the blue of sky.

It brims again to the surface, spilling over 

flooding the ground with its bucket lists 

of “what ifs” and “how comes” and “why nots”…

I sigh in my creased suit, loosen my too-tight tie

and now, seated in this cold shell

I brace myself, fingers numbing and aching

sighing and shaking.

I’m not broken, I’m not weak or dying

I’m just traveling down roads

traveled before

staring off into the horizon and considering 

that bear that went over the next crest of the hill…

will he ever come back?  

And then I look into my rear-view mirror. Image

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Thanksgiving, Mystery and Childhood.

I’m sipping coffee, I know what else is new?  But as I sit here with my caffeine companion, blue cup, steam brimming from its edges and handle inviting me to grasp and chug down its contents, I am drawn to this topic of thanksgiving.  There’s a little film booth in my mind churning over snap shots and feature length moments of my life.  The booth is dark but for the flickering of projector light as dust dances in its wobbly yet dazzling rays of ambient lumens.  On screen, I am seven years of age.  Sun burst of blonde hair apparently free from the clutches of Dad’s comb that day laying every which way.  I am content.  No, better than content, I am full of joy and warmth.  It’s like that moment when you will finally see long lost relatives again that you’ve been anxiously longing to see since last you met.  Add to that euphoric sense the emotion of a snoozing Saturday when you have to plan, no chore list and absolutely no where to be.  

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I am more than content.  I am happy.  Isn’t it funny the small things that bring us joy?  The plastic bag of army men that probably cost 50 cents down at the convenience store clutched in a seven year old’s hands equaled joy that day.  Playing on Mom and Dad’s bed with folds of blankets, flowery in a sunburst pattern, abruptly becoming mountain ranges and ocean floors in some cosmic battle between good and evil (evil was slowly scaling the mountain only to be repelled again).  

But it wasn’t the plastic arm men that gave joy, it wasn’t their ongoing battle that filled me with jubilation and peace, it was where I was. And where I was can only be felt in the loving arms of children guided and loved by parents who cared.  We were loved.  Nothing greater a gift can be given to your children, than a consistent kind of love and affection!  I am thankful today for the places, the face, the small joys that I have experienced along the way.  Something as small as green plastic army men on my parents bed still brings me joy.  

May we still find these simplistic moments in our ever complicated lives.  I hope we never lose our child-like innocence and faith.  I’m thankful for still frames, images, moments that still replay in my mind.  These aren’t just memories, they are a part of who I was and who I have become.  Dare I say that we all have these moments of pure joy and peace.  When we felt secure, warm and loved.  It was never about any kind of materialistic gift, but rather, it was about parents who took the time to care and to show it.  

Parents, never forget how it was to be a child.  Never lose sight of the fact that life is still full of mystery and wonder.  Don’t whittle it away with logic and skepticism.  Faith begins in the heart of a child.  Matthew 18:3 says, “And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”  We need to return to the mystery of life once more.  

Just a simple thought of thanksgiving today.  

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“My Ten Best Books of 2013” Via: DesparatePastor.blogspot.com

My Ten Best Books of 2013 (#2)

Bob Hostetler is a Writer and Pastor who also blogs at DesparatePastor.blogspot.com

Today’s post is the second in a series in which I ask pastor friends to list the “Ten Best” books they read in 2013 (to date, of course). Feel free to comment about any choices you agree with…or not.

Scott E. Strissel is a pastor and Salvation Army officer currently serving in Brainerd, Minnesota. He blogs at Pastor’s Ponderings. Here is his “ten best” books of 2013:

10. The Poor Will Be Glad 
Peter Greer & Phil Smith

Currently reading.

9. What We Talk About When We Talk About God
Rob Bell

Currently reading.

8. Jimmy Stewart: A Biography 
Marc Eliot

Currently reading.

7. Battlefields & Blessings: Stories of Faith and Courage from World War II 
Larkin Spivey

This is a good daily devotional reader which shares personal stories from soldiers who endured and survived World War II. This devotional both inspires as well as challenges our faith and also provides evidence of God’s hand of protection and guidance to men and women of faith. 

6. River of Darkness: Francisco Orellana’s Legendary Voyage of Death and Discovery Down the Amazon
Buddy Levy

This is a historical look into the European Explorer Gonzalo Pizarro and his Lieutenant Franciso Orellana who made their way through the Amazon. I love historic non-fiction books and when you throw in the investigative style with the awe of mystery, you’ve got a good read on your hands. 

5) The Way of Holiness 
Steve Deneff 

I received this book last year as a gift and I was blessed to pour through its pages! It speaks to the heart of our need for Christ-likeness in our lives, the process, and spiritual disciplines all the while personalizing it for the reader without making it read like a textbook. It is definitely worthwhile to read! 

4. Odd Apocalypse
Dean Koontz

I will admit some of favorite novels are by authors who not only provide suspense and action but those who write about victory with an underlined spiritual theme. Dean Koontz is one of my all-time favorite fiction writers because of his knack for writing in a way that engages the reader with humor and severely likable characters. 

3. Falling in Love with God
Bob Hostetler

Every time I read the book of Hosea in the Bible, I am challenged by its words. Bob Hostetler presents the love of God for His people and their wandering ways in a very simplistic yet thought provoking manner. Falling in Love with God was a page turner which also challenged my faith. 

2. Lincoln’s Battle with God
Stephen Mansfield 

Lincoln has always been a figure in American history I have always admired. To read Mansfield’s biography on Abraham Lincoln’s light and his spiritual battles was a challenge for me but also very enlightening with much that I did not know about this famous president. 

1. The Pursuit of God
A. W. Tozer

I must admit that this isn’t the first time I have read Tozer’s Pursuit of God, nor will it be my last. It has become a guiltless pleasure to re-read and seems to always find its way back onto my reading pile. Each time I read this book I am captured by God’s desire for us to know Him more deeply and this challenge to be like Christ in both word and deed. It is, without a doubt, my “go-to” book on the topic of spiritual disciplines.

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For Today. (Poem & Prayer)

Lord, today I confess I’m struggling 

my heart not brave enough for the fight 

how can I be your light of encouragement 

when this heaviness weighs groaning on me? 

You know me better than I know myself

all of my heart aches, heart breaks, 

heart’s yearnings and attacks. 

Today, though I don’t feel like it

I will serve You.  

I can’t hide, or fake it…I can’t fool you!

Ignite in me, again your passion

blow into flame this desire

set my hopes and dreams aflame

ignition begins again on my knees

in prayer.  

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Heart of My Heart (A poem for my loving wife)

Her hair of gold
And eyes blue as
tropical seas
She means more to me
than she’ll ever know
Heart of my heart
joy within the happiest day
She is my love and light.

She laughs at me
And all is well
Such a spell I cannot deny
While I, heart brimming
Smile a toothy grin
This is how our world begins.
There captured in a moment
Under the moon’s soft glow.

Some things
Are worth fighting for
Waiting for, living for
Heart of my heart for sure
Of all the joys and folly known
No deeper, no greater
Than your love has shown
My reason, this fool’s purpose
To love you and cherish
These days…
Always
Heart of my heart!

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God, Awaken Me! (Poem & Prayer)

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Captivate my heart, O Lord,

Ransack and decimate my sins

shatter all of my dreams and hopes

if you were not invited too.

Banish my selfish, prideful heart

that wants only to be seen by others

hold hostage in me the un-surrendered

unwavering, unapologetic closets

that I have kept from your light.

Shake me into awakening

make me bleed so I can feel

Your love must hurt me deeply

before I can be restored. 

Melt away my apathy 

I’ve been far too numb to care 

tear down my idol worship 

of things and people and places 

Lord begin this in me today…

Violently awaken me

and allow me to drink from your

still waters and refreshing grace

I’ve been comatose for far too long

like a sleepwalker through life.

Tear away these scales from my eyes

allow me to finally see the world

in your blinding light.  

Shine on me and reveal how I really am.

-Amen. 

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Thanks-Living

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“I always thank God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus.  For in him you have been enriched in every way–in all your speaking and in all your knowledge.” (1 Corinthians 1:4-5)

My friends, we shouldn’t need a specific holiday to remind us that we ought to be thankful…but it doesn’t hurt!  Thankfulness should be second nature to a Christ-follower, and yet it is often easy to take the blessings, that we have been given, for granted.  The challenge for us is to learn the discipline of simplicity.  What is simplicity?  It is the discipline of letting go of our hunger and craving for more “stuff”.  It is letting go of our lusts for possessions, affluence, popularity, recognition and power.  These things are called mammon.  What is mammon?  Webster’s dictionary even describes it with a biblical context: “material wealth or possessions especially as having a debasing influence <you cannot serve God and mammon — Matthew 6:24“

Richard Foster explains this issue: 

“We really must understand that the lust for affluence in contemporary society is psychotic. It is psychotic because it has completely lost touch with reality. We crave things we neither need nor enjoy. ‘We buy things we do not want to impress people we do not like.’ …It is time to awaken to the fact that conformity to a sick society is to be sick.” (Richard J. Foster, Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth)

Stuff, in essence, can become our god.  It can consume us, making us ungrateful and blind to the truth.  We can become lost in our “stuff”.  Possessions and things aren’t inherently bad but it depends on how we use them.  

Richard Foster had more to say on this topic: 

“Jesus Christ and all the writers of the New Testament call us to break free of mammon lust and live in joyous trust…They point us toward a way of living in which everything we have we receive as a gift, and everything we have is cared for by God, and everything we have is available to others when it is right and good. This reality frames the heart of Christian simplicity. It is the means of liberation and power to do what is right and to overcome the forces of fear and avarice.” (Richard J. Foster, Freedom of Simplicity: Finding Harmony in a Complex World)

The key to the discipline of simplicity is…well discipline.  Do you really need that cell phone upgrade?  Do you really need that new car?  Separate your wants from your needs.  Thanksgiving isn’t about getting more stuff to make you happy.  It should be about appreciating what God has already given to us and utilizing these tools for His glory!  That doesn’t mean that we can’t enjoy life or become obligated to a boring existence.  God created us to enjoy life and more importantly to enjoy His presence in life.  

Are you experiencing life through thanksgiving?  Do you have time in your day to just stop and say thank you to God for all of the awesome gifts and blessings He has given to you?  Don’t wait for specific holidays to recognize your need for thanksgiving.  Celebrate “Thanks-living” every day, because after all, each day is a gift from God!  

 “No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks” – Saint Ambrose

Life is precious…use it wisely!  

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I Surrender All?

“You never go away from us, yet we have difficulty in returning to You. Come, Lord, stir us up and call us back. Kindle and seize us. Be our fire and our sweetness. Let us love. Let us run.” ― Augustine of Hippo, Confessions

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Why does it still happen to us, who call ourselves Christ-followers?  Why do we shy away from this disciplined, more refined lifestyle?  God is calling us to something deeper, something far better than what we experiencing in the here and now.  Why do we fight it?  Could it be that we have something more to surrender?  Could it be that we have held back a part of us from Him?  

God told Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac.  He did what?  It’s true.  God told Abraham to take Isaac up into the mountains, build an altar and shed his only son’s blood as an offering and as a sign of allegiance to the Almighty.  Scripture doesn’t say that Abraham refused, yet I struggle with this passage.  How could a father follow through with a request like this?  Abraham doesn’t refuse and he does what God asks of him, he goes up into the mountains and takes his son with him.  Everything is premeditated, including the murder weapon.  Yet I know that Abraham must have dreaded what was to come.  He must have mourned and waged within himself over this request from God.  Isaac’s name means “He laughs” and that is certainly what Abraham and Sarah did when they received the news that they would have a son.  After all, Abraham was nearly a  hundred years old when they received this divine news.  But Isaac’s name meant much more then their initial response.  He would bring joy into their lives.  They would laugh until tears ran from their eyes!  He was their answer to so many years of barrenness and familial emptiness.   Isaac was Abraham and Sarah’s pride and joy…even to the point of replacing God.  

We do this sometimes.  People and even things have a tendency of replacing God as top priority in our lives.  We don’t intentionally run from God, but little by little we find ourselves unwilling to surrender everything before Him.  This is a very real danger in our ministries and in our spiritual journey and Christ-followers!  We utter the chorus “I surrender all” with our lips and yet in our hearts we’re holding onto something that needs to sacrificed at the altar of self!  

Abraham didn’t hold back.  He was obedient to God.  Perhaps he understood the message that God was trying to send to him way before he held the sharp blade over his bound son on that stone altar.  He certainly displayed his obedience in his response to Isaac’s questions about where the lamb was going come from when Abraham replied, “God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.”  (Genesis 22:8)  Though Isaac had become his pride and joy, and perhaps, for a time replaced God on his priority list, Abraham had faith!  His faith was indeed rewarded when an Angel appeared and stopped him from completing costly sacrifice. The angel said, ““Do not lay a hand on the boy,…Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.” (Genesis 22:12)  

If, today, we find ourselves far away from God because we have run may we return to Him!  If, today, we find that we have placed others of things before God may we be willing to lay them all at His feet in total surrender.  God is faithful and longs for us to return to Him!  He also longs to make us holy people, the very image of Christ for all the world to see.  But that image cannot remain on us if we are unwilling to surrender everything and return to Him!  

Prayer: 

Lord in my returning, make me holy.

Lord in my renewal, send the fire! 

May my life and heart be ever for you

restore me from sin-sick muck and mire! 

 

 

 

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