In the early six am hour, I stumble from my bed. And my very first priority is to, with eyes half open – and long drawn out yawn, stand before the coffeepot with cup impatiently in hand.
Yesterday still reverberates and echos loudly in my ears, but I must be prepared for the onslaught that is this new day. What can I expect from this new one? Perhaps more hectic phone calls of fires I must put out? Most likely more kettle money to count, as well as a host of other public appearances…the day will eventually join all other days, which slowly blends and bleeds together becoming a cacophony of noise, fast driving, and not enough hours to complete every. single. task. It (my day) can become quite frustrating.

At the end of the day…
It is in the late night hour, when the lights have been extinguished, and the sounds of exhausted snores begin again, that I wonder if THIS is what I have signed up for? The restlessness, the anxiety, the stress, the responsibilities, the burden that they (whoever “they” are) has called the “mantle of leadership”. Is it worth it?

For I am drawn to the unfinished homework down the hall that my child needed my help on. That growing stack of dirty dishes, now elbow-high in the sink. The Mount Everest sized heap of laundry, a mix of colors and whites all blending together in some stained and stinky gym-socked odors that still remain downstairs- largely ignored. “T’is” the season” we say (laughing it off), as we run out the door having not eaten as much as we should and hoping we can spend more time with our children today than we did yesterday…or the day before that.
These are the things that guilt my slumber…but still I sleep (and snore), only to repeat the same maddening schedule all over again the next day, “Dear Lord, please either return today or make Christmas Eve speed up in my direction” I breathlessly, and continuously pray. This has become my mantra, my hope to cling to, my “light at the end of the tunnel” (which happens to sound a lot like the ringing of bells and the clanging of loose change from a crimson bucket).
I keep telling myself that this makes a difference, that what we do in these restless weeks matters, but it offers little comfort when fielding that phone call from an irate store manager, or a raging parent unsatisfied with the toys that we have to offer them (while we always put our best foot forward)…The mantra “We make a difference” is even a cold comfort when having to terminate another ringer for having sticky fingers and blatantly lying about it even when managers and customers have witnessed it a time or two.
Are we making a difference?
Am I making a difference?
Did I sign up for this?
Is this what God has asked us to do?
Better yet, am I really giving my all to God in the places and spaces that matter most?
And that’s when it hits me…
I have been going about this all wrong…
What is “this” you ask?
My attitude…
My motivation…
My determination…
My gifts and abilities…
ALL “MY”s….
But there are days when I must get away and recharge…
there are days when I must reconnect with the family…
there are days when priorities and responsibilities of ‘self’ wins out.
But here…
In this moment-
I feel the Holy Spirit breathe into me four simple words that strike the cord of truth deep within me. It lays to waste all of my hesitations, temptations, guilt and fears. It puts everything back together again. It restores my faith in humanity even after getting burned SO. MANY. TIMES…
He whispers those words into my busy day.
He whispers them into my chaotic heart and mind.
He whispers them and though the bell ringing continues, and the change from crimson buckets still falls, I find some clarity and solitude. (How ironic is that?!)
What are the four words you ask?
Perhaps it is something for all of us and all of our furious paced lives right now…
The words?
Thy Will Be Done…
Are you feeling the Christmas chaos yet?
Have you asked similar questions?
Do you feel the guilt of a crazy paced life right now?
You’re not alone!!
A Prayer We Can All Pray:
Lord, I want to be your servant today.
You know that I feel betrayed at times by those around me.
You know that I feel cheated out of a calmer life sometimes.
You understand the chaotic mess that is my life right now.
I pray your silent strength and shielded hope would surround me.
I pray you would increase as I decrease in all of these efforts today.
Grant me your strength and discernment for the tasks at hand.
Lead me Lord into Thy will.
-Amen.
Something more to ponder today!
By the way….you got this!
God Bless you!



We witness the habitual effects of alcoholism in our very parking lot, when we have to pick up a drunkard (almost daily) and escort him/her to a detox location. It is disheartening to see the utter waste of human life devoured by the bottle. It is very sad to see families ripped apart because of abuse brought on by intoxication and poverty due to the supporting of a habit.
bearing plants along with the weeds?
community…today it would take over a year (at least) to close a dying or dead corps and plant a new one elsewhere. I understand that there are many variables to consider, I know we have so many more hoops to jump through, and the right forms must be submitted, and the right studies have to be done…and the list goes on…and it is far too complicated, perhaps more complicated than it ever should’ve been. I wonder if this is why we aren’t growing anymore? Because our hands are bound by massive amounts of red tape and far too many hands have to touch the paperwork as it passes over many desks at various levels of responsibility. Is it no wonder that some just given up? Is it no wonder that some grow frustrated at the snail’s pace? Granted we ought never make rash, uninformed decisions, but are there times when the amount of red tape becomes utterly ridiculous?
Could this be why younger evangelistic churches seem to be having more success in growing their church plants – because they have far fewer restraints and hoops to jump through? The building process doesn’t take 3-5 years, instead they work a church plant that tithes and contributes to the building campaign? I understand we are not just a church (we are so much more – we are a movement)…but are we a stalled movement in this regard? Or is this the proverbial story of the tortoise and the hare, where wisdom and time win out?
Sometimes I feel that we as an Army have become so policy heavy that we strangle creativity and the potential for real, sustainable growth. The problem is like this scale, too heavy a balance of policy keepers will lead to a diminished level of creative challengers. On the other side of the scale, too many creative challengers will lead to a diminished level of policy keepers and lack of order and policy.
Perhaps we have taken our focus off of the mission and exchanged it for regulations and rules.

When this abuse is allowed to continue, and it does from time to time, there is inevitably a loss of talent. By that I mean some within the ranks of soldiers and officers alike might leave. Why would they stick around when abusive leadership would seem to go unpunished or addressed and instead is rewarded and only those who are completely complicit to that leadership style are given appointments of authority themselves? In essence an abusive autocratic style will promote the “yes” people, while those with talent (and who had the passion and zeal) but did not always agree might never be rewarded or acknowledged. What could remain would be a hollowed out version of an organization. It wouldn’t be the vision that failed but rather the internal issues of the organization that cannibalized itself.
autocratic or authoritative leadership model be affecting our movement today? This is a very big question, I know that, but isn’t there a part of you that wonders if we shouldn’t even ask the question in the first place? Why is that? Do we fear that if we ask it we might face punishment or be considered “rebels”? I believe a healthy movement is one who has innovative, creative and outspoken members. A movement is just that, something that continues moves forward, not backward. A healthy movement should be one that accepts constructive criticism and takes corrective steps when needed. A healthy movement is propelled not by unhealthy models of leadership and fear, but by the Holy Spirit prompting and leading His followers onward into the fray.


“We should teach about holiness but emphasize Coutts (General Frederick Coutts) more…The table itself has had little resonance because it has become a display table, and because no one–neither soldiers nor officers–have a very deep experiential knowledge of holiness living, and have been put off by second-blessing / second work of grace confusions…” Could it be that our lack of teaching is to blame for its near extinction?



1. Have an Identity apart from the Army






Another mark of a great Officer is the capacity for compassion and grace. This is closely related to the care of “Others”! Compassion and grace can often be set aside of efficiency and “getting the job done”. When officers run through their administrative duties as well as their pastoral duties, the first thing that seems to go is the capacity to slow down and care for people. Being a great officer means that one will take the time to hear about other people’s problems, to show compassion and to be involved in the lives of their corps members or those they lead. If an officer wants others to follow them, it won’t be conducted through declarations of power and asserting authority, it will be done by gentleness, kindness, compassion and genuine care. The great officers that I have known possess this certain type of seemingly endless patience and grace, that kind that I can only hope to achieve. Admittedly, I am often impatient, short with people, and sometimes my capacity for compassion is lacking…But I don’t want to remain here, no, not at all! I aspire (as I’m sure you do too) to be like those Officers that have displayed this remarkable characteristic to me (us).


There are some phrases that might suggest that God’s plan is specific. For instance, in the song “I’m in His hands”, the writes states: “The days I cannot see, have all been planned for me...” (Stanley Ditmer)
How do we understand passages like:
scratch the surface of this God – Creation/Human existence. We can begin to see how hard it must be for God to watch us make our choices sometimes.

Salvation Army. But we must recognize that even the Booths promoted family to places of authority. William Booth viewed his Generalship to be something he would pass along to his children, and perhaps his children’s children. Could it be that this sort of family promoting still occurs in our Army today? And if so, should it? Are there checks and balances in place to prevent nepotism in our Army?

Questions to Ponder:
The Cure?: