Lord, I long to devote my all to You
to surrender my heart and will
and I complete in Your holiness live
yet I confess a fragment lingers still.
My heart yearns to be one with You
to stand complete before the King
and sin no longer a binding force
my all before you I must bring.
Holy Spirit, descend upon my life
I yearn for entirety of grace
with nothing restraining my heart
I long to see Your face.
What if I actually did as Jesus instructed? What would that look like? Would the world be better off because of it? If I actually loved my enemy. If I actually extended grace that extra mile. If I actually opened my heart to the whosoever? What would that look like?
What if I actually got serious about disciplining my thought processes? The way that I think. After all didn’t Jesus say that even if we think about adultery we’ve already committed it in our hearts? What would it look like if I applied the Paul principles in my life? If I pondered on all things true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy…(Philippians 4:8)? What would come of thinking this way? If I got rid of all the junk, filth, malice, hate and envy? If I, like David, asked God instead to create in me a clean heart and to renew that right spirit within me (Ps 51)…how would I be different than I am now?
What if I got serious about holiness? If I actually started listening to those promptings of the Holy Spirit to truly surrender all? If I stopped holding onto to those darker portions of my heart. If I stopped messing around thinking that there’s always time later to mature in this thing called ‘faith’. How would this surrender take over my life? Would I be truly transformed? Would I be more confident? Would I have more assurance of His grace in me? What if His holiness became a priority instead of a temporary, on again off again passing phase? What if I got serious and got disciplined in this faith?
What if I stopped talking all the time in my prayers and actually began to listen? What would I hear Him say? What is He saying right now? Am I afraid of His words? Am I dreading wrath or condemnation? Have I been putting off these listening ears because I would rather ask Him for things instead of do what He wants of me? And why don’t I spend more time studying His Word? Why is it laborious for me to read a single chapter but I can spend hours in front of the TV, with my fiction books and surfing the web? Am I afraid of what He might say to me regarding my other idle activities? Would I be convicted too much? I can justify it all away, I can say ‘I’ll do it tomorrow’ but never really mean the words that I say.
What if I was honest with myself…with Him? What if…what if…what if. Perhaps it’s time to stop asking ‘what ifs’ and starting asking why not now? What am I waiting for? Why am I stalling? What are the reasons? WHY NOT NOW?
-Just a few honest questions.
I’ve been looking at the painting. I’m mesmerized by it. Have you ever studied a painting? Have you looked closely at the details? The brush strokes? The unspoken drama captured in a mere moment? Look at the waves, how they list back and forth, how they swell to a crescendo and fall back down again. It’s almost as if you can watch them in their lunar symphonic dance. As I look into this painting I see so much of me. I see evidence of my doubt, evidence of my fears and evidence of my lack of strength. I see me drowning there, not just Peter. I see what could happen if I fall down into the depths of this flowing tide. The water filling up my lungs. The panicked shock becoming reality. My feeble life flashing before my eyes. I can imagine it…can you?
As I look at this painting, a story we’ve all heard before while sitting in those stiff backed, wood-oil scented pews that creak when you shift positions…the story of Peter walking on the water with Jesus. We’ve heard the details of this story. How Peter saw Jesus walking towards them and cried out to Him, “Lord if it is really you call me to come out there with you…and Jesus said ‘Come'” (Matthew 14:22-33). So Peter gets out of the boat and starts walking towards Jesus on the water. You see we often stop here in this story and think to ourselves “wait for the ‘but'” and we call this Peter’s doubting moment because he looked down, because he became frightened, because he took his eyes off of Jesus. But what we often fail to look at within this story and it’s evident in this painting is that Peter got out of the boat…but where were the rest of the disciples? Where did they remain? In the boat. If we look real closely they are way off in the foreground standing in the boat safe and sound but did they believe as Peter had? Did they climb out of the boat with him? No.
Another thing that really hits home to me that is portrayed in this painting is the juxtaposition of his friends and peers in the boat as opposed to where Peter is located. No, not just because of their doubt but because of their distance. When Peter needed his friends and his peers the most they were too far away to help him. He was well out of their reach to throw any kind of life saving device towards his sinking soul. As I stare into this painting I begin to understand something that I didn’t before. Perhaps I knew it to be true, but only in the back of my mind. Here’s the truth: Our friends, comrades in arms, loved ones and peers cannot save us all of the time. There are times when faith takes us out further than perhaps others are willing or called to go. Faith takes us into deeper waters where we have to find out for ourselves that not only is our strength not enough but our faith must be increased so that Jesus can save us. It’s not about being better than our friends or our loved ones, it’s not about being more holy but God calls each of us to different waters. So when we step out of our boats as Peter did we will find ourselves at times to be all alone on those waters without the support of other believers near us.
Staring again at this painting I am struck by how the painter illustrates the expression that Jesus has on his face. If someone lets you down what might your expression be? One of disappointment? One of anger? One of dismay? To me, Jesus doesn’t seem to have any of these expressions on His face. Instead He appears concerned, lovely so as He stoops down to pluck Peter from the depths. Notice too that Jesus doesn’t grasp onto Peter’s slipper, wet fingers. Instead He grasps Peter by the wrist. What this says to me is that Jesus knows. He knows that Peter can’t pull himself up out of these circumstances. He knows that Peter’s strength have given way to doubt, shock and fear. Jesus knows and so He pulls Peter up by his wrist and in so saying ‘My strength is enough, let me be your salvation’.
I am Peter in the waters from time to time. I am being choked by the lapping waters as I gasp for another breath. I am given over to fears and doubts and I cannot save myself. I look for my friends and for my peers but they are too far from me. Yet Jesus is there willing and able to rescue me…again. He grasps onto my wrist and says to me ‘My love, my strength, my courage, my grace, my hope…is enough!’
Today I don’t know what kind of waters you’re walking on in faith, but I do know one thing Jesus is there! Though our faith may take us out deeper than we’ve ever gone before, though we find it difficult or impossible to walk alone…Jesus is there! Trust Him today! Trust His strength. Trust that He will never abandon you or be too far away to rescue you. When you find yourself far from the saving mercies of other Christians, look up and find the One who has paid it all grasping onto your wrist and saving you through His strength and grace.
Sometimes it’s hard to be
As meek as lambs
When the wolves are circling
Sometimes it’s hard to be light
And Show this love
When the daggers are out.
Would someone please
Protect my back
I’m under attack
No support for me this time
Can’t you read between the lines.
Sometimes all hope
Seems to break away
When these tongues are wagging
Sometimes I forgot In whom I serve
Lord I’m blinded by this mess
all these saints are dragging
Would someone please
Boldly step up
I feel as If alone
Where are my brothers in arms
When the saints become the curse?
Help me Christ my solid rock
For I feel I’m sinking quick
These sinners saved by grace
Seem to only save themselves
this hurt has made me sick.
But Your hand, your hand is reaching
And Your love, Your love is soothing
You give me strength when no one else can
You give me hope, Your solid rock I stand!
Jesus got up from the table. Isn’t that unusual for Master of ceremonies to do? He got up. He had been reclined, as they did in those days. There wasn’t a wooden table and chairs as we’re so traditionally used to. He had been enjoying a meal with His disciples. There had been some banter back and forth, some laughter over a good cooked meal. Isn’t that how bonds, throughout time, have been further deepened? Over a meal, together, they bonded, they shared, they loved. Then Jesus got up. What was He about to do? The room was slightly stuffy, and getting warmer. There was a humidity in the air which matched the body heat of those gathered there. As each disciple had eaten their share of the food and had drunken a share of the wine, Jesus did not rest. He didn’t find the nearest lazy boy chair to recline in. He didn’t make his disciples go and do the dishes. He didn’t rest. Instead, He got up and after wrapping a towel around His waist, He filled a basin full of water. The disciples were caught off guard. Some were still chewing the last bits of food and draining their cups of the last drops of wine. Glances were exchanged, expressions of bewilderment and surprise replaced the revelry of celebration.
Having wrapped the towel around His waist and poured the water into the basin, Jesus begins to display for His disciples what a true discipleship looks like: a servant of all. Kneeling down before them, Jesus places himself beneath their dirty, filthy, smelly feet and washes them. He becomes a servant before them. He takes on the very job of a household servant. The son of God stooping down to wiping the dirt from the feet of His people. Is there any better description or account of doing the will of God? The actual Messiah, Jesus kneeling down and cleansing those who needed cleansing the most? Such moments like this had to have left deep impressions upon His followers. Having the One who had been present at the beginning of creation wiping away dirt from their feeble human forms, what a lesson to learn! Master becoming servant. Jesus coming down to their level and preparing them for leadership and for eternity.
This is Discipleship:
In Jewish custom, a disciple was to do as the Rabbi did. A disciple went beyond just ‘doing’ what the Rabbi did though, the purpose of a disciple was to become the Rabbi. Literally taking on his mannerisms, his theological interpretations, his actions…everything to become just like the Rabbi. Jesus knelt at their feet and washed them. Jesus displayed for his disciples what they were to become to the world around them…servants of God, serving others. Jesus even told them this when He said; “…whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave – just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:26-28)
Discipleship is doing the will of God, not just as a part-time worker, but a full time servant. Many will commit to part-time work as a servant, but few, when faced with choices of comfort and personal gain will accept that full-time role. Yet isn’t that what Christ-followers are called to do? To be full-time disciples in our lives? Full-time disciples of Christ doesn’t mean we give up our professional vocations and don on ropes of white and live off of the land. God can and will use you as His disciples right where you are at. Sometimes He asks us to move and to switch vocations, but many times He can and will use you if you are available for His purposes. True discipleship though looks very much that Jesus with towel wrapped around His waist washing feet. True discipleship may take on roles we feel are beneath us, not befitting one from our status…yet Jesus knelt down and washed the disciples feet, are you prepared to do so as well to those around you? Are you prepared to be a full-time disciple?
William Law once wrote; “The devout, therefore, are people who do not live to their own will, or in the way and spirit of the world, but only to the will of God. Such people consider God in everything, serve God in everything, and make every aspect of their lives holy by doing everything in the name of God and in a way that conforms to God’s glory.” (William Law, A serious call to a devout and holy life)
Do you view your life in this way? Is everything God’s? Are you doing the will of God because you are His humble servant? This is the cost of discipleship, but it’s not drudgery or done with groaning but instead because of love we cannot help but to serve the One who has set us free. Are you prepared to wrap that towel around your waist? Are you prepared to kneel down before those around you and to wash their feet? God doesn’t need any more part-time workers, He wants full-time servants who are committed to do His will.
“I am grateful to Christ Jesus our Lord, who has strengthened me, because he judged me faithful and appointed me to his service.” -1 Timothy 1:12
The man once named Saul, persecutor and murderer of Christ-followers has been redeemed. Now, Christ’s ambassador, a humble servant renamed Paul writes to Timothy his protege and for all intense and purposes adopted son. Paul is nearing the end of his life. He knows that time is now running out for him. He isn’t bitter. He isn’t scorning and cursing his captors – Rome, instead he is making the most of his remaining time. He writes this encouraging letter to Timothy as a father would lovingly pen words on a page to a son. Paul considers himself the worst of sinners and even says son in his letter to Timothy.
Is there regret from his previous life, before Christ cast his light of salvation on him on a dusty Damascus road? Yes. But has this regret stopped Paul from living for Christ alone? No! Though Paul considered himself the worst of sinners, he indicates to Timothy that Christ had also deemed him worthy of calling.
What made Paul worthy? Was it his own hard work and effort to be ‘good’? No. How can a killer of Christians now be considered worthy & faithful? It becomes a matter of the heart. What lives inside our hearts only we and God know. What we feed on within out thought processes only we and God know. Paul was convinced, and the evidence of his ministry results are apparent, that Christ had judged him faithful and appointed him to serve.
What about us today?
Do you feel worthy of being called by God? Are you willing to serve Him wholeheartedly like Paul did? We don’t need to have a theological degree to serve Him. We don’t need to be highly educated to gather a towel around our waist and wash the feet of those around us for His glory. We don’t need to be preachers like Billy Graham to share this message of hope to the world around us. We just need to be faithful. Christ Jesus can and will strengthen you as well, just as He did with Paul. If we say ‘yes’ to His calling (whatever that calling looks like that enables us to serve Him) he will judge us faithful and then also appoint you as well to whatever task He needs you to serve Him in.
You may consider yourself in your own minds to be the worst of sinners also. You may think that God cannot forgive you for what you have done in your life…and you would be wrong! Christ is willing to forgive you if only you will let Him. When we open ourselves up to Him and His holy cleansing we will find love, grace and hope…we will find new life! And in this new life, we too will be judged as faithful servants of the Most High.
Are you willing today to trust Him? Are you willing to allow Him into your life? If you say yes to His calling on your life, watch out! You will never be the same again! Because the Apostle Paul said ‘yes’ to Christ many, many lives for changed including Timothy who did carry on in Paul’s footsteps. Because Paul said ‘yes’ to Christ the very world was changed because of His testimony. Today, this world needs more Pauls to boldly step up and say ‘yes’ to Christ…may you be a Paul today in your answer today!
-Just a thought.
Father,
Let my hands, marred and filthy
Be cleansed, purified and true
So that I can reach a world that’s dying
And let them find you.
Spirit,
Let this tongue, course and violent
Touch the coals from your holy fire
So that I might speak of truth
And love might penetrate this liar.
Jesus,
Let my heart, selfish and vain
Beat for the hurting and the lost
So that, with your power and might
Your blood might drown the cost
Holiness,
What my heart should love and fear
Christlikeness, breaking sin’s dark mold
This body, soul and mind brought low
So that I, in Christ, a servant…may be bold.
“Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”
Luke 9:23 (NIV)
Discipleship is NOT easy!
When Jesus came to call His disciples he turned tradition on its head. Rabbis didn’t go to their ‘would-be’ disciples. Rabbis waited for the disciples to come to them. Jesus was a revolutionary! Those who actually became disciples of a Rabbi were deemed ‘good enough’. These were the cream of the crop. Those who had studied and excelled at memorizing scripture and also at discerning those scriptures. A disciple would eventually, if things progress as planned, replace the Rabbi. So the disciple would emulate all that the Rabbi did. They would walk as the Rabbi walked. The would speak as the Rabbi spoke. They would apply the same lens and perspective to the Torah that their Rabbi would apply. Being a disciple was not an easy task. Every waking moment was spent living in the shadow of the Rabbi that they followed.
When Jesus came to call His disciples, He called those few individuals who had moved past their formal education in the temple and back to the vocations of their fathers. They weren’t the cream of the crop. They weren’t the best students, and they weren’t deemed worthy to be disciples by other Rabbis. Yet Jesus came to them. That alone should tell us something about Jesus. He came to get them. To call them. His mode of discipleship was vastly different from other teachers. He essentially picked working class people to become his proteges. He was telling them that though they hadn’t been good enough by the ‘professors and scholars’ of the law that they were good enough for the Son of God.
Think of it. Jesus, God’s own Son, tells a group of rough edged fishermen that they were worthy to become like the Christ. How can this be? One who is perfect, who will eventually take upon Himself the sins of the world and die to save mankind says to a group of imperfect, dirty fishermen; “You can be like me“. It blows the mind. It’s not how it is done in Jesus’ world. Yet He does it His way.
There’s a very real application for us today in this. Jesus still calls the ‘unworthy’, and He says to each of us, “You can be like me!” It doesn’t matter where we’ve come from. Or where we’ve been. It doesn’t matter if we even flunked out of school or lived with addictions. Jesus comes to us and tells us that we can be worthy to be like Him. Can you picture that?
Jesus is essentially telling us that no matter how badly we’ve failed in life. No matter how difficult an upbringing we’ve face; no matter what junk we have in our lives that He believes in us. He believes that we can be like Him. Now perhaps some are thinking ‘there’s no way I could be perfect like Jesus.’ And you know what? You would be right. We can’t be perfect in our own power and strength. We can’t be ‘godlike’ in our own good deeds or our goody-two-shoes attitudes. We won’t ever be good enough to be perfect. Yet God in the form of His Holy Spirit wants and can transform us if we let Him.
To be a disciple of Christ we have to decide that not only He is worthy of following but that we are worthy enough to follow Him. This is the real problem of discipleship. Many just don’t believe in themselves. Many have doubts that they are indeed good enough or worthy enough to be called a disciple of Christ. Here’s the solution to that problem: Jesus believes in you! He believes that you can do it! You are worthy of becoming His disciple because He says so.
I’m sure those fishermen on the shores of Galilee had their doubts in themselves too. I’m sure they too felt unworthy. And yet Jesus called them and said, “Come follow me.” Today He still says that to us. The journey will not be easy. Much will be lost along the way, but so much will be gained in following Him. My prayer for all of us is that we begin to realize that Christ believes in us. And because of that we might begin to have confidence in not only Him but ourselves as well.
“He who began a good work in you, will carry it on into completion!” Philippians 1:6
-Just a thought.
It started out as a random conversation about our favorite books. Each person told us what was their all time favorite novel and why. Some were books we all knew and loved, while others were books somewhat foreign to us. As the conversation wound back around to the originator, someone hit upon a truth. We all were in agreement that we really loved the C.S. Lewis books, “The Chronicles of Narnia”. Someone indicated that they really fell in love with the Narnia world. Another lauded the characters of Peter, Susan, Edmond and Lucy, giving particular moments in the books that really struck them as ‘wonderful’ or ‘brilliant’ through these characters. Again we all went around the room and shared specifics of the books that we thought we memorable and epic.
Then, someone said it. I’m not sure who it was, but once the words were loosed it hung in the air like a lingering fog in the early morning hours. The lights went on in all of us as we all nodded in agreement.
The Epiphany: Aslan giving up his life resembled that of what Christ had done for us. Aslan was sacrificed by the White Witch on a stone altar.
For a moment no one spoke. Each person recalled the scene.
Then, it hit me. Aslan died for all of Narnia (which represented our world). He willingly laid down his life before the evil White Witch. Then, Aslan died. As a kid I remember hearing this story, my father reading it to me, and I wept. Still a lump forms in my throat even now as I remember it. Though, the story didn’t end in the death of the mightiest lion. As a matter of fact while Lucy and Susan wept bitterly over Aslan, something miraculous and completely unthinkable takes place. As the sun begins to rise from the darkness of night the stone altar that Aslan’s body is still resting on breaks in half and the great lion is resurrected.
How awesome is that?
Like Christ, Aslan dies for all the world. “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8) Aslan is killed in the darkness surrounded by every evil thing in the world. But as soon as the sun crested the horizon that morning, resurrection takes place.
Jesus, God’s one and only Son arose. Aslan arose.
When Jesus died an earthquake shook the ground. The curtain in the temple, which separated the holy of holies, was completely torn from top to bottom.
Significance: God’s presence was said to dwell in the temple within this sacred space called the ‘Holy of Holies’. Only High Priests who were clean could enter this place. It was not accessible to common people. But when the curtain was torn it signified that God’s presence was accessible to everyone, and that He was not bound by four walls. He was omnipresent and and omniscient.
The Stone Altar Broke:
At sun rise, Aslan is resurrected. He comes back to life and at the same time the stone altar on which he was slain breaks in two. What could be significant about this? Could it be that the power and ‘creature made’ order was broken? Could it be that Aslan couldn’t be bound by evil? Could it be that Aslan couldn’t be bound by any creature? Could it be that the old ways were now destroyed while original intent was now restored?
YES TO ALL OF IT!
Do you see the significance of the breaking altar?
Man’s order of things, man’s fall, man’s rituals are broken. They are not paramount to the redemption that Christ offers! Christ came, He died, the curtain was torn, He was dead no longer and God’s original intent for the world was now restored!
The only thing that stands in our way from restoration then is OUR CHOICE.
We can choose to be restored and be made clean through His blood, or we can choose to reject Him. Either way it boils down to a choice we all have been given and we have to make. But the really amazing thing is that God has made Himself available to us…everywhere! Man’s order doesn’t bind God. Man’s rituals don’t impress Him.
The Stone Altar has been broken for all of us. Each of us are free to receive His presence…but we have to choose to received Him! We have been set free, what we do with this freedom and redemption is now up to us…I hope you choose Him!
“None of the children knew who Aslan was any more than you do; but the moment the Beaver had spoken these words everyone felt quite different. Perhaps it has sometimes happened to you in a dream that someone says something which you don’t understand but in the dream it feels as if it had some enormous meaning–either a terrifying one which turns the whole dream into a nightmare or else a lovely meaning too lovely to put into words, which makes the dream so beautiful that you remember it all your life and are always wishing you could get into that dream again. It was like that now. At the name of Aslan each one of the children felt something jump in it’s inside. Edmund felt a sensation of mysterious horror. Peter felt suddenly brave and adventurous. Susan felt as if some delicious smell or some delightful strain of music had just floated by her. And Lucy got the feeling you have when you wake up in the morning and realize that it is the beginning of the holidays or the beginning of Summer.” ― C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
“If there’s anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they’re either braver than most, or else just silly.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
Pastor's Ponderings 