Recently in the news there was the story about author of “I kissed Dating Goodbye” Joshua Harris, and how he has lost his faith. Apparently he is no longer a believer in Jesus. Many have read this news story and are scratching their heads. Let me be candid with you for a second: It happens. This is nothing new. That might seem harsh, but perhaps we need to have a harsh conversation from time to time about our faith, because faith isn’t always puppy dogs and cotton candy…it takes real work to maintain.

News Flash:
We are ALL susceptible to losing our faith if we are not careful.
I don’t wish to alarm you, but if we do not guard our hearts we can allow other elements of our old selves to take root in it.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” -Proverbs 4:23

Life can be extremely difficult sometimes, and it might make us want to throw up our hands and want to walk away from the faith. Other times we might permit sin to creep in by rationalizing things away by saying to ourselves, “a little bit won’t hurt me.” (Sounds like an anti-drug slogan – sorry). Eventually we become desensitized to it, and we begin to deafen towards the sound of the still small voice of the Holy Spirit. When this happens we have lost our way.

BUT…

There is always hope.
There is always a returning.
There is an Eternal Love that stands waiting for us…willing to run to us when He sees us from a distance.

What happens when we lose our faith?
We have a God in heaven who leaves the other 99 to search for you and for me. (Matt 18:12)
We might have given up on God, but He hasn’t given up on us.

3 Things To Help Prevent Us From Losing Our Faith:
1) Make Faith In Christ Yours (Make It Personal)
We cannot survive on the faith of others to get us through this life. We need to personalize it, make it ours. It isn’t our parent’s faith. It isn’t our grandparent’s faith. It isn’t our friend’s, girl/boyfriend’s, mentor’s, denomination’s, or other’s faith…it’s yours – so own it. Yes, God is after the collective body of believers, but most importantly He needs to be your firm foundation first. If you haven’t made this faith yours, then you have only shallow roots and you will be susceptible to the changing of the mind through various seasons in life.

2) Ask The Tough Questions
True faith is not only believed, but is investigated and explored. This means asking the hard questions, tackling the places of doubt and finding others, who are deeper in the faith, to help you. Study, read, listen to podcasts, watch some videos, get into a church with sound doctrines and really explore your faith. If you don’t ask the questions, you could possibly be leaving that door doubt open in your heart which become an escape clause when things aren’t going so well in life.

3) Find People Of Like Minds To Challenge You.
Look for Christ-following mentors to guide you. Find people who will not only be your friend but challenge you to be better (in love). Study the Bible with other people who might have a different take or perspective on things. Accept the fact that you don’t know it all yet and be a student of the Most High.

I don’t know what is going on in Joshua Harris’ life right now, I do know what I’ve read and I am sorry for the difficult road he is on. I sincerely pray for him. Unfortunately what can also be said of this faith journey is this: the more influence you have in the world, the greater the temptations and pressures there will be as well. Unfortunately Mr Harris’ story isn’t an abnormal one. Many have traveled this path of losing one’s faith…it’s where you end up on the other side is what’s most important. I do hope that while on this path of self-discovery Josh Harris, and others like him (for there are many) will too rediscover their faith in Christ with a whole new perspective and hope.

If you find yourself at the end of your faith rope, know this: you aren’t alone. Many have been disillusioned by church, by other Christians and by life itself. Have a real heart talk with yourself, don’t lose the aspect of genuine prayer to God himself, and ask for direction. It won’t be easy…it never is, but I pray you find your path again with a firmer footing than before and with a deeper, richer, firm foundation of Christ alone.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

‭Proverbs‬ ‭4:23‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Something more to Ponder today.
L: Have you lost your faith? Will you share in the comments below your current journey and where you’ve been? We want to hear from you…because it truly helps! Please know there isn’t any judgement here, just a healthy dialogue from real people sharing their faith (or lack there of) story with one another. We look forward to hearing from you!

An Origin Story of sorts…

Greetings, dear readers.
It has been a while since last I posted anything, my apologies. I have been absent on online, however I have been far from such IRL. Life has been very busy and many days it has felt like I was on a perpetual roller coaster. Amazing scenery has been viewed on this upward, chug-chug-chug of the coaster’s ascent, only to swiftly plunge (stomach in throat) down-down-down into stress-fueled, drama-laden, down right scary situations. All of it, in retrospect, I am sure I will depart this ride and exhale, declaring it an adventure that I will undoubtedly ride again…just give me some time to catch my breath.

I began this blogging journey as therapy…of sorts.
Through it all, this has been a means to share my hurts, my heart and my hopes. It is still that place. Along the way within this pastorsponderings I was startled, and relieved to discover, that others read this blog and have journeyed along beside me, often commenting on how their experiences have mirrored mine. We have traveled this path together for some time. Some who began with me have gone on to other things, including some who have received their ultimate reward in Eternity. This has never been about complaining, or malice or creating disharmony…but rather a place to consider, ponder, and sometimes tackle the tough concepts of life. My literary “happy place” as well as my fortress of solitude.

I never set out to earn a living with this (and I still don’t); nor did I anticipate that Pastorsponderings.org would receive such a following as it does now. I am still amazed at how God has used this little site. Please note that I am not being boastful here, I am genuinely and completely thankful for those who read and respond.

I Didn’t Quit …But…
I was close, numerous times.
Questions like: Is this really helping? Should I be writing this? Is anyone really reading this? Does it even matter?
The voices in my head, the voices of self-criticism, doubt, insecurity, hopelessness and even vanity all made their opinions heard…over and over again.

And yet, there was that still small voice that constantly breathed into me the encouragement, the confidence and the right words to say. I’m not saying that I’ve always accurately conveyed those words, but I have tried…and I wish to assure you that I will always strive to do just that.

(Thank you!)
To the many readers and subscribers of Pastorsponderings.org I wish to thank you for your patience with me. I have been absent, but I am still here. This path is set out before us, and there are many, many miles yet to go…come along with me, and let’s continue.

Thank you!

Revelation 2:4 ” Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first.“

First of all, I fully acknowledge that there will be other indicators of the loss of heart our Great Commission. This is a vital sign, a test to see if our corps and our ministries are still aligned with our first love, and from this foundation – ‘Others’.

The Church of Ephesus had drifted from its mission. They had lost that lovin’ feeling…and now it’s gone, gone, gon (ahem, never mind)…I digress.

So what indicators are there of this love loss?
How do we recover that love, and what are the remedies while recovering this love? Before we can get to the remedies, let’s explore 3 ways to tell we’ve lost our heart for ‘Others‘:

1. Isolated and insulated programming:
   I have to confess that I don’t like the work “programming”, but a lot of what we do within the context of ministry can be considered “program”, but it should be much much more than just a title.
   Corps Ministries are essential to the vitality of our growth, but what happens when our ministries (or programs) stop including (either intentionally or unintentionally) the outside community?
   
   The fact that I said “outside community” could also be a ‘tell’…because we should be viewing what we do holistically and there should never be an ‘us and them’ mentality, with the exception of being ‘set-apart’ in the context of holiness…but that’s a different conversation for another time.
   
   How we ‘do community’ matters! How we bring people in to commune at our tables matters…and if our ministry programs only serve to meet the needs of only the ‘corps people’ then may have lost our heart for ‘others’. Dare I say that if our army structured programs are no longer meeting the needs in our greater community, then perhaps it’s time to chuck those old, ineffective programs, or reinvent those programs, or invent new methods (with the firm foundation of evangelism and the Christocentric cornerstone). Soldiers and Officers…if the four walls we operate in are seen as solely isolating and insulating comforts to us and our people, then we could be losing our heart for ‘others’.
   
2. “Everyone Outside are Sinners and We Are Not!“
   

1. The above title might never be quite expressed like this, but it can certainly be felt and assumed by certain soldiers from time to time. It is an erroneous, and similar to the first indicator, can led us to build walls instead of tearing them down. We might build this false sense of who we are in the Kingdom of God, and how others are to be judged instead of living a sacrificial life full of humility and love. When we stereotype everyone outside of our corps, we enter the dangerous territory of becoming just like the Pharisees of old who acted as governors of the law instead of genuine mouthpieces for God.
   
   Place such judgements upon “those” people, we have purposefully set ourselves apart and could see ourselves as better than “them”. We could look down our noses at the “outsider” and in so doing look at evangelism and even the Great Commission as a chore and the outsider we reach as projects instead of people.
   
   
   3. We Are Not Earnestly and Diligently Praying For Our Communities.
   
   How we treat the discipline of prayer and the time we dedicate to it truly does matter! In our very distracted culture today, getting people to focus on anything for a prolonged period of time can be problematic and more effort needs to be placed into this element of corporate and individual worship. Remember, that when we pray, we go before the Lord in this manner not out of obligation or ritual, but because we are placing our hearts, souls, minds, bodies before the Lord so that we might hear from Him and be in tune to the leading of His Holy Spirit. If we don’t have a heart for people within our corporate and individual prayer, chances are we will not possess the love that we need to reach them. The love that is needed to reach others for Christ only starts with our limited capacity to love but when we bow our hearts (and knees) we allow the Divine to imbue us with His mighty, all-consuming love – this full embodiment of that Divine love within us allows true evangelism to take place. It is only when we tap into the power of prayer for the greater community that we will find that earnestness and a heart for others.

These are just three indicators of a lost heart of others. I know that there are other indicators, please tell us what you think those other indicators might be in the comments below…let’s keep this important conversation going!

Something more for our Army to ponder.

**Disclaimer: the thoughts and comments in this blog are strictly the comments and opinions of the writer and does not necessarily reflect the opinions of The Salvation Army as a whole. Reader discretion is advised.**

Our past is still with us in some ways. It defines us.
It is like a backpack full of trinkets and memories often weighing us down, yet we are reluctant to let them go for fear that we lose a vital piece of us in the process. And so we lug them with us into the present…because we can.

I recently read a story about a man who discovered that his childhood friend had been maliciously murdered. His friend had moved away when they were still young and their friendship had faded away like a summer sun in the evening. He hadn’t thought about his friend until one day he looked him up on the internet only to discover the tragic news of his passing.

I wonder sometimes about the things in my backpack. I bring to mind often some of my childhood friends that I have never seen since the day we drove away. Sometimes I replay memories like an old VCR tape, rewinding it and re-watching the action play out on the screen in my mind. I remember the dumb things I said or did because I was young and stupid. I recall the moments I thought would last for ever, but only found out how fleeting time can be.

When I was younger I would sit in the pews at church as if they had splinters and my rear end were riddled with those wooden shards. Time was laborious then, and an hour felt like twenty years. Now, much older, I sat in church yesterday, it was Easter Sunday, and that celebratory hour vanished like a blink of the eye. Isn’t it funny how time, growing older and maturity measures the minutes vastly different than when we were young and carefree?

I imagine that there is a grain of truth for us here.
Our days are surely numbered, and the older we get the more in tune we are with that realization.

Where minutes to a younger me felt like an eternity now quickly dissolves like a morning fog at the kiss of the burning, amber of a morning sun. Perhaps this is the lesson we all must learn. For doesn’t it say somewhere in the Bible that a thousand years to God is like a day? If our collection of years and backpacks of the past amount to a mere speck of time compared to our Eternal God’s, why do I sometimes trust in my own interpretation on that time? Why do I struggle with embracing the Eternal perspective on things? Doesn’t He know better than my limited span of existence?

The bible also says “Who am I that you are mindful of me?” (Psalm 8:4)
Just think of it; the ageless, Eternal, Creator of the Universe is mindful of one who is the complete opposite of Him. Why? Because of my experience? Because of my sarcastic sense of humor? Because of all of my charm? NO. All of this comes from the One who created you and me. So why is He mindful of you and me? LOVE. Pure and simple. He loves us. He cares about us. He desires to walk with us in our day and be included in the journey.

I don’t know what’s in your backpack that contains your past. Perhaps some of it is cherished memories. Perhaps other items contained there is the of pain and misery of a broken childhood or family…and you still carry around those scars today. Perhaps it does define us in some ways. But then I also hope that there is a larger perspective, with far less pain than splinters in a church pew and growing up,…it is the eternal perspective. That there is some understanding of the Infinite God who would care for the finite – you and me. He longs to share in the stories of the past…the present, and journey into the future with you.

Just something more to ponder today.

I am not sure what comes next.
The good dream can sometimes turn bad.
Perhaps I’m paranoid like that.
The sound of the other shoe falling…
not yet dropping.

Why the rain and not the Sun shine?
why sorrow instead of joy?
A little light shines brighter than the shadows
exposes the lies, tears down the facade.
still the shoe is falling…

The color bleeds into the nightmare
casting shapes of deep blues in shadowed corners
the burden weighs heavy on shoulders unfit
laces, untied float in the air
my feet have hit the floor
and though I do not know what comes next
I take a second step.

“For he commanded and raised the stormy wind, which lifted up the waves of the sea. They mounted up to heaven; they went down to the depths; their courage melted away in their anguish…Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distress”
-Psalm 107:25,26,28

Have you ever been completely floored by the problems in your life?
There is a moment within this turbulence where it is as if a mighty wave has crashed over your head and there isn’t any air left to breathe. In this solitary moment, panic might set in and all hope could drain from your heart. It is in this instant of hopelessness that the threat of being swept away becomes a clear and present danger.

Perhaps you are dealing with an actual flood today. There are many in the Midwest that are struggling against real floodwaters, and we are praying in earnest for you! Still there are others, perhaps even some who are reading these words right now, who feel pressed in on all sides and feel the torrent of life flooding in, threatening to wash everything away.

Hold on! You are not alone and you are not yet washed away!
For those who are in hopeless situations – there is hope.
For those who are mourning – there is comfort and with it – joy.
For those who are suffering – there is healing and restoration.
God has not abandoned you, despite how it may feel at this very moment.
Even David felt as if he had been abandoned by God (read Psalm 22), yet David remembered that ultimately, even if everything were swept away – God would be there, holding dominion over everything.

Can we boast the same confidence in God in the middle of our flooded life?
Do we believe that the Almighty will remain with us and restore us as we pick up the pieces of our shattered lives? Psalm 107:25-30 doesn’t say that the people were spared the flood, but it does say that the Lord “heard their cries and brought them out of their distress.”

Have you cried out to the Lord?
It might not be instantaneous, but be assured that He hears you and will bring you out of this clear and present danger. He is, after all, the Good Shepherd and the Great Comforter. He will not leave you, nor will He forsake you in your time of trouble.

Questions to ponder:
What are your flood waters right now?
Who can you ask to help you and give you hope? (we were never meant to go at life alone – we need friends to encourage us)…who is can be your support and source of encouragement today?
How can we pray for you? (Please post your comments and prayer requests below and we will pray for your!)

“Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face.
And the things of earth (including the tempest and flood) will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.”

Prayer:
Lord I ask that you rescue those who are hurting today. You know the floods that encompass us. We place our faith in you and ask that you deliver us and restore the broken today. Be with those who need comfort today. Guide those who are lost. Restore unto us the joy of Your Salvation. It is in Your name we pray these things. -Amen.